Couple of days ago a friend told me he'd be going to a girl's place for a hookup, said he was extremely nervous and asked me how to be "good in bed". The great majority of girls say I'm "good in bed".

Up until then I had never asked myself that question, but I thought it was very interesting so I gave it some thought, thought I'd share the main 3 rules I follow 100% of the time, pretty foolproof way in my opinion.

As a preface, this is obviously a general rule and doesn't apply to all the cases, there's exceptions to everything.

MAIN RULE: Understand that sex for women is very different for sex for men

Understanding this is the basis of everything. I'm sure you all have heard millions and millions of times about shit experiences with guys in bed, the great majority of the time this is because the guy having sex just sees sex the way he sees it, and carries it out that way. He may have had a great time, had an awesome orgasm and saw no problem with it, and the girl ended up feeling completely unsatisfied.

We all know girls are emotional and guys are logical, 100% this extends to sex. For us it's a basic thing, our train of thought generally is something like: I think you're attractive, sex feels good physically, let's get it done.

For women it's a whole other situation, regardless of whether we're talking about a drunken one night stand with a girl you don't know the name of, a first date hookup, first time with a girl you're dating, or sex with your wife of 30 years, it's always going to be a completely different thing.

To put it in oversimplified terms, we enjoy a blowjob if a girl has good blowjob technique.

We'll bust in 2 min.

For women it's more about the emotions she feels during the act than the physical pleasure. She'll enjoy it if she feels connected to you, if it feels passionate, if it feels "right".

Keep this in mind at all times, and try to adapt whatever you do in bed to fit into what you'd like if you were a woman.

RULE 2: Take it slow, make sure she's comfortable

For us guys a lot of the time it's just about enjoying the physical sensations, getting to an awesome cumshot, done. Girls see it completely different, and you can start enjoying sex way more if you take a page from their book.

To put it simply, take a reaaaaally long time with every single step of the foreplay, even with just the initial kissing. Every single thing you do, drag it out to make it as long and slow as possible. Your goal is not to "get to the penetration", why are you fucking rushing? Foreplay is amazing.

Switch your mindset. Your new goal is to build up the moment, make the tension/arousal/excitement as HIGH AS POSSIBLE before you put your dick in.

If you've spent 20 min enjoying every part of her body, touching every inch, kissing her lips, cheeks, neck, breasts, legs, giving each other oral, fingering, literally whatever rocks your boat, When you FINALLY put it in you'll feel heaven. So will she.

Additionally to this, make sure you hold a chill vibe and make sure she's comfortable with every step, you honestly have no idea how common rape is. I can guarantee you 100% EVERY SINGLE GIRL you ask will report at least 1 bad sexual experience with a guy. They might have felt pressured to do something and they're not ready, or done something sexual without feeling comfortable with the moment/person.

Can range from a guy grabbing her ass in a nightclub to her being drugged and fucked unconscious, girls live in constant fear of sexual experiences without consent.

Your main goal here is to not be that guy. Be as far away from that guy as possible.

If you're having sex with a girl for the first time and her mind is thinking "I have absolutely no fear of this guy doing something to me I don't want", you're already guaranteed a huge bonus.

Feel free to take little breaks in the process to have some conversation/make a joke/take little pauses to hug every once in a while.

Ask her "are you comfortable/should we keep going/does that feel good/let me know if you want to stop"

Imagining saying this in the middle of a hot steamy session sounds like a super weird mood killer, but I can guarantee you it'll work the complete opposite way.

RULE 3: Study her reactions/learn what she loves/focus on pleasing HER

Again for us guys this doesn't really matter, who doesn't love a deepthroat?

Girls respond wayyyyyyyyy differently to stuff.

You have to take it slow. Observe her reaction to every movement, especially during foreplay. See what she's enjoying, learn what you do that provokes the best reaction. Literally study her sexuality, both from verbal communication and body language. Once you nail this you can adapt the whole sexual act around stuff she fucking loves.

In a brief example, some girls love when I give them a neck kiss by lightly trailing the tip of my tongue through the side of their neck, some other girls love an aggressive bite and suck right in the middle of the neck. Try them both, you'll clearly see which one she loves, do that one. Simple right?

Additionally, test the waters.

This is rather specific to me, but I love dom/sub sex. It turns me on like nothing else and I have plenty of experience doing it. Most girls have at least a little bit of submissive in them, most girls love when I do some dominant stuff and they enjoy that side of me.

That doesn't mean I'm gonna give a girl a slap across the face and put her in a choke as soon as I put my dick in her for the first time.

I usually start light, maybe grab a good handful of her hair, pull it relatively strongly so she feels the pressure, and look directly into her eyes with a dead serious/angry expression. This is a clear sign of dominance, it will give a clear response. If I see she goes crazy about it then I have a bit of a "green light" to progress a bit more, and this way you can gauge what the girl's kinks are as you go without doing something out of place.

All of this general mindset will make her feel like sex with you is "special". You care about her, you care about pleasing her more than you care about throwing cum out of your dick, you see sex with her as a meaningful act, instead of being some sort of robot that goes through steps in order to reach a cumshot. The beautiful thing is if you come into it with this attitude she'll feel motivated to do the same for you, now you have 2 people that are trying their best to make each other feel great pleasure, this is "sexual chemistry", the ideal goal.

As a final sidenote: Try to make the vibe chill and relaxed.

Sex can be stressful, you and her can feel pressure, get caught in your own heads and this can easily carry on through the whole act.

Countless times at the beginning of my sex life I had situations similar to this: You invite a girl over to watch Netflix, you're cuddling in bed for 30 min, you start feeling this huge void in your stomach building up, because you know it's about to come, you finally kiss her. HOLY SHIT, IT'S ON, WE'RE HAVING SEX NOW you start moving through the phases while you're both in complete silence, not even fully enjoying anything because you're running at a million miles per hour in your brain about what's happening. Pressure and stress keeps building higher and higher as you go on. Here's a mindblowing unbelievable secret: she's feeling exactly the same.

On the alternative, you can chill the fuck out, relax, make some silly jokes as you go, fucking talk to her about what's happening in your mind, take a little break to just sit there and smile at each other, kiss her nose, do a ridiculous dance move, talk to her about how crazy it is that this is happening, share feelings, whatever works to break this fucking ice tension thing. Make it feel like a cool fun easy thing, it's just chill and enjoyable, it feels "right", it's meant to happen. It's totally enjoyable.

We think of a guy who is GOOD IN BED and we imagine a tall jacked dude with a huge dick that eats pussy like a god, knows a million positions and can last for 3 hours. Guess what? Real life isn't porn.

Use your common sense and think around these lines, it's given me great results and hopefully it will for you too.