What to do when a girl reaches out after ghosting?

Yam884 · 2022-08-06T00:51:57+00:00

There’s really only one way to find out.

AngeloMacon · 2022-08-06T05:08:03+00:00

Can't hurt to counter offer coffee or drink date. But that she suggested fancy dinner after disappearing for weeks strongly suggests poor character.

couldnotd3cide · 2022-08-06T00:46:17+00:00

She ghosts you then suggests dinner at a pricey location. Bruh you, yourself already know what she’s after and that her primary fell off. Settle for being her plan C or keep it moving for girls that won’t flake when they see someone else they want.

HyakuShichifukujin · 2022-08-06T02:28:01+00:00

I read none of the walls of text after the title and this is my answer to the general question.

Give her one more chance, and proceed like you would in any other situation, and act like nothing happened vis a vis the ghosting and that you don’t give a shit.

Know that if she flaked once the odds are higher than normal that she will flake again. If she does flake again block and delete all her contacts and delete her from your mind so you don’t waste any more time on this particular timewaster, and talk to 10 other girls.

DoooshhBhagg · 2022-08-06T08:22:33+00:00

You can't be mad because you're busy with other girls. Don't be all in your head about a girl you haven't even met or don't even know that well. You have to understand she was traveling. Her blowing off the 1st date seems circumstantial due to her traveling. You're focusing on the negative. The positive is that she remembered you and reached out. Who knows? Maybe she'll pick up the check because she feels bad but I doubt it. I don't know your financial situation but I would do it. Or if you had chosen a place to eat at from the initial date suggest going there.

bodybuildingfairy · 2022-08-06T01:12:11+00:00

Please don’t accept the disrespect and move on.

You’re only communicating lack of options, when you tolerate that behavior

Superb-End6273 · 2022-08-06T02:27:24+00:00

Bro tell her that you'll make an exception but she has to repay you somehow. Whether that's taking you out on a date, massaging you, cooking for you, etc.

Pls value yourself. Don't suggest drinks suggest that she buys you a drink. Hope I'm not too late.

ordinarybots · 2022-08-06T04:48:17+00:00

Sounds like all you’re good for is a meal ticket, buddy.

NEXT.

hoodbgoode · 2022-08-06T00:33:25+00:00

Go with your gut

MigasEnsopado · 2022-08-06T10:08:00+00:00

If she's inviting you, she's paying.

froze_gold · 2022-08-06T01:23:39+00:00

What you put in the recycling bin should stay in the bin until someone else finds a use of it.

Don't reply to her and move on, she didn't value you then and she's not going to magically value you now.

No-Rub-7252 · 2022-08-06T03:00:56+00:00

Reading the comments here and I’m seriously wondering why people give second chances

Full stop. They’ll ghost you later

pabeave · 2022-08-06T03:14:22+00:00

Accept go then walk out mud dinner leaving her the bill

bandsupjay · 2022-08-06T05:11:22+00:00

Go with your gut. If you really dont care and wanna try and get a lay do it.

keepturning1 · 2022-08-06T05:49:25+00:00

I can easily drop off for a week or 2 and it doesn’t have to be because I was dating someone else, it can just be cause I CBF or had stuff on at work or social commitments with friends and family. Having said that I wouldn’t be keen on a fancy dinner for a first date so I’d simply say yes to meeting but something more casual.

What I should add to that though, if I was really keen on someone I probably wouldn’t drop off in the first place. So she’s probably not enamoured with you.

bcool_returns · 2022-08-06T15:01:15+00:00

I counteroffered with a gallery opening that was happening a little earlier the same day, but also said dinner and drinks was fine if she couldn't make it to the opening.

Next time don't hedge. If you don't want to do drinks and dinner, don't do drinks and dinner. I simply would've offered drinks at a bar or the gallery opening you mentioned. But I would NOT have the additional language of "dinner and drinks is fine" because I don't do dinner on a first date.

But today she texted me apologizing for not responding and asking if I want to get dinner next week at this trendy, kind of pricey place.

Heh yeah, I'd likely just ignore the message, aware of the underlying communication. But in any case, you have the opportunity to actually enforce your boundaries without hedging this time. "Haha hi there. Down for drinks at x bar on x night. Lmk." Any reply that's not "sounds good" and I bounce.

restivepanda · 2022-08-06T02:53:05+00:00

Engage her for a little bit, but on your terms this time. The moment she asks you to meet up or whatever, let her know that you’re busy but “she can come over to you if she wants.” Don’t waste any unnecessary time or money courting flighty women like that. They can take it or leave it

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-08-06T01:58:48+00:00

try to bang and that's it

DarkKnight3192 · 2022-08-06T03:22:40+00:00

BRUH

3 WEEKS?!

You're her backup option so you should just go dark.

versacelotus · 2022-08-06T10:31:48+00:00

Head on the first date would be on my mind in this situation. She's gotta make up for it some how right?

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-08-06T00:50:23+00:00

Internet based first dates should be brief and at a common place. 15 to 30 min at a coffee or juice venue.

Actually, I would even make an itinerary for second and third dates as it pertains to what I want after the initial screening date. Mainly, I just see they aren't super into drugs or just walking off the avenue to join me. That seems fair, right?

No. Then no fancy feast for me.

Tell her, hey that's sounds great but could we meet up before hand. Then suggest a place for a brief encounter days before this fancy feast. Then commit to it from there unless you think she's a skeez.

Temporal-Distortion · 2022-08-06T04:50:26+00:00

Agree to meet her but go dutch. Fuck her if she’s up for it, but don’t expect it to develop into anything beyond that. Pretty simple.

PaleoPimp · 2022-08-06T02:25:18+00:00

You tell her to F off

2022-08-06T12:32:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

pianoplaya42 · 2022-08-06T00:44:22+00:00

I'd go for a coffee date. If she's into you she'll be fine to still spend time with you. If she was just hoping for a fancy dinner you'll know

ActionEve · 2022-08-06T05:54:12+00:00

Fuck that, I wouldn’t entertain her one bit

repo1778 · 2022-08-06T11:48:00+00:00

I agree with the second part of you and you have a good plan.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2022-08-06T00:50:23+00:00

When a girl reaches out after ghosting, I don't dignify it with a response, 2 can play at that game. Chad found the next girl and left her hanging, now she decides to hit me up?! I'd rather not be on the roster at all than be the backup.

incognito3107 · 2022-08-06T06:43:21+00:00

Probably she finds you as a spare option, also you may be scamed for free dinner. You can meet with her if you keep these things in mind, but probably she is not seriously interested. 2-3 weeks without a word can't be presented as some emergency or "being busy". After such period you should be engaged with a different girl who is more responsive and available, and coldly turn down this one. Still, theoretically it may turn up to be some happy ONS, but some disgust of this peculiar 2-3 weeks silence will be always in the air.

Theoretical-Zero2 · 2022-08-06T11:30:06+00:00

Ask her to do something that’s cheaper and more convenient. My guess is that she won’t show.

VinceBrogan8 · 2022-08-06T13:36:08+00:00

Assuming you just want to smash...

"I had an unpleasant experience the last time I was at (trendy pricey place). But I'll let you buy the first round at (bar close to OP's place) instead".

"I have an ex that's on the waitstaff at (trendy pricey place). But I'll let you buy the first round at (bar close to OP's place) instead".

bar close to your place helps your odds of smashing

Amikatey · 2022-08-06T13:51:01+00:00

That should be my own turn to ghost.

OreOscar1232 · 2022-08-06T14:28:07+00:00

I say counter offer with some crazy fun shit. Like sky diving or something thrilling. That’s what I’d do. My point is counter offer with what you feel comfortable with, drinks, go karting, whatever the fuck you want to do. A fancy dinner just sounds like she wants free food. I might be wrong but hey. Only one way to find out.

chillax234 · 2022-08-06T17:00:17+00:00

She just wants a free meal at this trendy, kinda pricey place. Do not comply!

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-08-06T17:01:44+00:00

Yeah every new girl you meet is already juggling multiple options until one stands out enough to date. Have the date and see what happens

TheWriterOfVazq · 2022-08-06T17:04:27+00:00

I wouldn't assume anything and just go with it. You pay your half, she pays hers (make sure you state it before, ofc). If it plays out bad, oh, well, at least you tried it. You don't lose anything, right?

Sumbuddyonce · 2022-08-06T17:12:25+00:00

Accept her offer and "forget" your wallet

BreakDance4cash · 2022-08-06T17:20:57+00:00

Song starts playing "reach out and touch faith*

Lt_Hatch · 2022-08-06T17:58:06+00:00

Dont listen to half of these incels. Go with your gut. Timing is everything, and the last time wasn't on your side, for whatever reason. Dating is trial and error, I don't think a second date would hurt.

Momo_dollar · 2022-08-06T18:01:15+00:00

It’s the trendy pricy place she wants, with you just there to foot the bill

redvineman · 2022-08-06T18:05:48+00:00

Meet her for happy hour somewhere, or coffee, dinner is a bit much for meeting someone for the first time. If she insists on dinner, then don’t respond. I wouldn’t be aggressive about it, but you don’t owe this lady anything.

Title	What to do when a girl reaches out after ghosting?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	50
Comments	61
Date	August 6, 2022 12:32 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/whawb1/what_to_do_when_a_girl_reaches_out_after_ghosting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-do-when-a-girl-reaches-out-after-ghosting.1252764 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252764

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