Starting to see a resurgence of “incel” posts/comments and I’d like to address them once and for all

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-31T22:58:04+00:00

Just a reminder, this sub is about seduction and self-improvement.

Mods will handle incel posts and comments. Please report them if you really want to help.

Posting an argument against incels is just going to risk turning into a flame war because people on the opposite side of the argument will be attracted to a post framed as an argument against what they believe.

Which was already happening. And despite what you might want to believe, you're not going to convert many of these people.

Flame wars = not allowed.

Report incels and blackpillers, and don't engage.

2022-07-31T08:35:32+00:00

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Crow729 · 2022-07-31T09:31:34+00:00

The right attitude towards women is a thing of maturity.

But no one will be able to learn the right attitude with out some one showing him the way.

And I think this subreddit is about education and showing the proper attitude.

atomant88 · 2022-07-31T08:13:58+00:00

youre actually not even being harsh enough to them

pickup is about love. its about loving your partner. sharing joy. making it easy to do that. removing barriers between you.

incels hate women. they dont have any love or respect for them in their hearts. they want to harm and dominate. they are purely selfish in relationships. they hide behind barriers and fake personas. because their true selves are disgusting.

theres no place in game for incels or misogynists.

itsondahouse · 2022-07-31T13:55:24+00:00

Women dont owe you sex people. In fact, they dont owe you anything.

eszibit · 2022-07-31T09:23:06+00:00

You have to understand the survivability bias that happens on reddit, you will get more 1-5s here than 7s-9s ( for guys i mean ) so a lot of people here just don't have a chance with women. Telling them to "just improve yourself" is telling a guy born in africa " if you work hard enough you will have a good life" dude, that just ain't happening.

Your view is short sighted, look on r/tinder and you'll see a lot of...not so goodlooking guys asking why they aren't getting any matches. Well, they've been dealt a shitty hand so except outside interventions like surgery/trt they won't really look good, ever.

If you're average, a 5 and you improve yourself to a 6-7, you will have some success. but if you're a 2 and improve to a 4..you still won't, even if that's possible.

I do agree with trying to be your best, but for some it's way harder than for others. Some people no matter how much they go to the gym they just won't put on muscle. There's genetic variability and a lot of things you just can't control.

Yeap, women won't pick them, but stop making it sound like they are bad people and have some compassion. Also it's not even just about how good you look, it's also about depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and a lot of that are just from the environment ( toxins, glyphosate, mercury, lead etc ) . You really want to do good for the world? Try and change it for the better, not just spew shitty things from your high horse.

sparklingwinepapi92 · 2022-07-31T15:12:33+00:00

Great call out

I understand sexual frustration as much as the next guy, but I can hardly say I have much sympathy for incels.

The reality is these guys expect to be served women on a silver platter like it's their god given right, and that women should just spread their legs for them without them having to do jackshit. If that's your attitude, might as well do yourself and the women of the world a favour by buying a sex doll and swearing off real women forever. Don't buy a sex doll with AI though, chances are a smart enough female AI wouldn't even want to have sex with you lol.

No secret that a lot of women out there are absolute scum but it's not a gender specific problem. People of all genders and orientations are capable of being scum.

Bottom line is incels don't want to do any work, not even the bare minimum, to find a partner. Then bitch about being virgins.

Used-Engineering4996 · 2022-07-31T12:32:06+00:00

I have zero entitlement personally. I’m an average looking guy, 180 pounds, 6’1”, I have seen much less attractive and shorter men than me with attractive girlfriends. I would personally be fine with an unattractive girlfriend so long as she isn’t morbidly obese, which is mainly just because I’d like to be able to go on long hikes and climbing with her.

women are right and you’re wrong

I believe that. I think women are justified in not wanting to date me, I have little social skills and zero dating history. At my age, 27, that’s incredibly unattractive and disturbing to women. They would much rather have a normal guy with friends and a normal social life, with ex girlfriends

change your attitude or remain single forever

“Change your attitude”, now why didn’t I think of that before?

finding the right woman

I’ve tried for years. I get zero matches on dating apps. I have no friends. I think of death constantly. Therapy hasn’t helped.

miked999b · 2022-07-31T10:36:42+00:00

I've always thought this sub had a very incel element to it. Used to be a lot worse a couple of years back, but you still see it. But there's lots of good and interesting people on here too, and I stick around for them.

Realityinmyhand · 2022-07-31T10:21:54+00:00

Glad to see such a post.

Anyone who hasn't read it, please read 'no more Mister nice guy'. It's a quick, pretty easy, read that can be pivotal for anyone trapped in this mindset.

Merso509 · 2022-07-31T09:20:48+00:00

I have never written a negative comment about a woman. And I do not feel those negative feelings towards them.

But

After one broke my heart, just ripped it out of my chest, while saying how much she likes me and how much I mean to her. Then just a text that it's over. Never got closure, got called words when I tried to reach out when I wanted to return a couple of things and hug goodbye. Blocking/unblocking to say something that hurts me and expressing fear toward me even though I was the best version of my self and put a lot of effort into helping her through tough times (mental damage/trauma). After all that, I don't feel hate, don't hold a grudge, I still think she is a good person - depends how you define who is a good person, for me, the more you suffer, the better the person you are - kind of thermodynamics approach, matter cannot be created or destroyed, same with feeling/emotions.

But, I know what they are capable of. I prioritize my well-being over any woman I meet. Making them happy still brings me joy, but if an opportunity arises where I can gain more happiness I will take it even if it means, it will cause pain to the female. It's not black and white, just prioritize yourself more.. sloppy writing, was just thinking out loud

facebook_user67 · 2022-07-31T11:22:06+00:00

Thaaaaaaaaaank you soooooooo much for this 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

raclnp · 2022-07-31T10:38:20+00:00

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greenlight144000 · 2022-07-31T11:21:34+00:00

No it’s because im ugly it doesn’t matter if I have a better attitude or not.

val_br · 2022-07-31T11:27:37+00:00

The problem with the whole incel argument is that both sides stick to an extreme point of view. It's either women are right and the incels are wrong or the incels are right and the women are wrong.
It's neither, much like anything in society.
If anything incels need to think about dating as any market, like the job market for example. You don't whine that you can't get a good job in a 10k population small town, you move. You don't keep kissing the ass of a manager that won't give you a raise, you switch jobs etc etc.
In dating's case some of the solutions have a social stigma associated with them, and as such aren't talked about. Lack of sex is no problem if you're willing to pay for it, but that obvious solution is somehow immoral? Why?
Another simple solution is just moving, as for jobs. Big cities have more opportunities, some parts of the country are better for men looking for relationships, as are some parts of the world, if you come to think about it.
So, yes, if you're an incel you are doing something wrong, but it's not necessarily related to dating itself. Think about it well and hard, don't let prejudices stop you from finding solutions.
On the other hand the quality of women, especially in some of the more woke parts of the US and western Europe has fallen to laughable standards. Telling some guy he's wrong for not settling for a morbidly obese partner who berates him daily for being a man and nothing else is absurd.

MrBlack__ · 2022-07-31T10:46:38+00:00

Nah, if you’re hot doesn’t matter what attitude you have you can get women. So trying to reverse psychology thier behaviour to imply they will be rewarded by the same that caused the issue in the first place is stupid.

What the need to do is look at what they want and reverse engineer it, that’s it

Get what women want, they will give you what you want, simple

pdx4nhl · 2022-07-31T08:50:14+00:00

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ProductivityMonster · 2022-07-31T14:18:17+00:00

I'm not willing to date the women who want to date me. They're way below any objective reasonable standard. The obese women on dating sites who usually like me can fuck right off. I'm not even overweight, let alone obese. I have decent muscle mass/figure as well. I make good money. I own a home. I have a social hobby. But I'm never going to become Mr. Life of the Party nor be a tall guy.

Ricb76 · 2022-07-31T14:14:00+00:00

I always thought stoicism was the answer to those incel feelings and this Rudyard Kipling poem sums that up pretty well.

If you can keep your head when all about you, Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too.

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies.

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise.

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master.

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim.

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, And treat those two impostors just the same.

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken, Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools.

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings, And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss.

And lose, and start again at your beginnings, And never breathe a word about your loss.

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone.

And so hold on when there is nothing in you, Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch.

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run.

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son.

ProductivityMonster · 2022-07-31T20:04:43+00:00

The term "incel" is way overused and overapplied nowadays. It's just a sexist/misandrist insult for anything arguing men's POV in dating.

Take a look at r/dating. It's basically just an echo-chamber arguing women's pov because they ban any men's pov. At least r/dating_advice considers both sides. The reality is dating is a compromise between men and women. You can have the most hardline/pro-whatever-sex-you-are stance, but if no one that you find a suitable partner agrees to it, it means nothing.

Title	Starting to see a resurgence of “incel” posts/comments and I’d like to address them once and for all
Author	Alive-Doughnut2345
Upvotes	179
Comments	130
Date	July 31, 2022 8:07 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wcjmcf/starting_to_see_a_resurgence_of_incel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/starting-to-see-a-resurgence-of-incel.1253184 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253184

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