How can I make sure I’m the best option she has?

ihoop281 · 2022-07-08T17:12:24+00:00

As a dude that used to have hella confidence issues (still do, but progress was made). You gotta have the mindset that you ARE the best option. If she doesn’t agree she knows where the door is. Be yourself, be genuine, do what you feel is right in your gut, but don’t ever worry abt the competition. Once you worry abt them you lost the war.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-07-08T16:37:48+00:00

It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Believe she has better options and you’ll act insecure and push her toward those options. You make 6 figures, are tall/handsome, and she’s already fucking you, if that’s not enough to make you believe you’re enough for her, then that’s on you.

Jay_k447 · 2022-07-08T16:37:45+00:00

It's not a competition. There will always be someone better than u. U should just be urself, if she likes u nd finds u interesting she would chose u over everyone. Focus on treating her right.

RSNK10 · 2022-07-08T16:40:58+00:00

Simple, you bang the competition.

NathanaelFire · 2022-07-08T17:02:38+00:00

Get rid of this mentality and you’re on your way.

Phyriel090 · 2022-07-08T17:35:32+00:00

You make over 6 figures, you're my best option and I am a married man with two daughters. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Spotdown23 · 2022-07-08T18:19:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nuc1earwessels · 2022-07-08T18:41:00+00:00

You are the best. Say it. Say it again. You deserve love and quality, passionate sex.

audomatix · 2022-07-08T18:48:33+00:00

ugh.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-07-08T15:57:06+00:00

Haha if you are so high value you should be spinning plates. If you have oneitis get ready for ghost.

froze_gold · 2022-07-08T18:21:20+00:00

Repeat the mantra "I am enough" and belief that shit hard ASF.

You can be the best you can be for her, but you'll never be her only option.

Testinat0r · 2022-07-08T15:49:57+00:00

If you have to ask that here you will not be the best option.

Artist-in-Residence- · 2022-07-08T16:10:03+00:00

Well firstly, what do you like about her?

I think instead of thinking you're an "option" you should consider getting to know her better to see if you're compatible.

Economy_Training_797 · 2022-07-08T16:51:42+00:00

It's cliche at this point, but you should just be yourself if you are wanting a serious relationship with this girl.

Why play games with women? If she doesn't like you, than move on. If she does, you know it's genuine.

IratusHonestus · 2022-07-08T17:00:33+00:00

Man, if you find the answer to this, you're a billionaire. Men have been looking for a way to guarantee a woman's loyalty since we lived in caves.

Produce your own happiness and don't rely on other people to confirm or validate your self image. Other than that, stop focusing on things you can change.

burakbenxd · 2022-07-08T17:08:40+00:00

Just don't care lol live your own life

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-07-08T17:24:53+00:00

Ummm.. you can’t. She’s a free thinking person and will decide who and what she wants.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-07-08T17:25:04+00:00

You can't. Shelf life on romantic love is ~18-36 months. Anything longer than that will depend heavily on her attachment style (Love Avoidant vs. Love Addicted) & her self esteem levels.

Love passionately & deeply, but never bank on a guarantee. You can't control or trap other people, but you can enjoy what you have and make the most of it.

Sounds like smug advice, I know, but here's the deal- you're both high on dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, epinephrine, norepinephrine & phenylethylalamine. All those chemicals make up the "love cocktail". All those chemicals eventually fade and then your love is really called into question. People change and feelings change and newer/better options present themselves. Which is why my advice is love deeply & well and never punish someone for not loving you back. Enjoy what you have while you have it. It's the best any of us can do.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2022-07-08T17:29:24+00:00

bro you have the wrong mindset you are the prize

EloteSalvaje · 2022-07-08T17:39:39+00:00

There is always a bigger fish, don't think about it.

thinkdustin · 2022-07-08T17:50:53+00:00

You can't

rutbah · 2022-07-08T17:59:13+00:00

She doesn't have the options. Here is the New York Gender Ratio: 94 men to 100 women.

Personally verified this in May when I visited.

External_Lifeguard49 · 2022-07-08T18:00:13+00:00

Never live up to womens expectations. Live up to your expectations. Either she see you as the best options or she doesn’t. Trust me it’s not worth thinking and trying to make sure your her best options. There’s plenty of women out there.

NightMasterDom · 2022-07-08T18:02:18+00:00

Did you ever trade stocks or options in the financial market, you should have noticed that markets move based on squeezes, aka; the people who are under fire and have to buy or sell to close an under water position, those are the true movers of all markets.

Girls work exactly the same way, they don’t stick with you, unless they feel it’s not-safe for them to ditch you.

No matter how good you’re in life, if she has better options, she will leave, her brain will play the game of “I don’t feel I still love you anymore”.

What you should do in this situation, is let her go, if you’re really good at the game of life, you will end up with a better girl in no time, there’s massive shortage on good successful men, and girls are wired to fish for high value.

The end of the day, no one is entitled to no one, it was just my turn, your turn or her turn. you get the idea. Not even if you get married, divorce courts are running 2 years backlog.

climaxingwalrus · 2022-07-08T18:21:29+00:00

Take out the other options.

iambrian81 · 2022-07-08T18:24:34+00:00

Emotional investment. Once a girl falls in love with you, Ryan Gosling can hit on her and she couldnt care less. If you guys cannot fall in love, i dont know why you are dating.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-07-08T18:28:51+00:00

Stop giving a shit

blubbercup · 2022-07-08T18:39:31+00:00

Make sure your head game is on point

FractalGuise · 2022-07-08T18:49:07+00:00

Kill all the other dudes so you will be her only choice.

CowgirlBebop575 · 2022-07-08T18:59:03+00:00

It's impossible, especially if she's very attractive. What is possible is her liking you and bonding with you, wanting to be in a monogamous relationship with you. Then competition is irrelevant.

Talk to her, seek to understand her, be a reliable confidant.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-08T18:53:28+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-09T15:02:13+00:00

This had to be taken down but I'll add my two cents as well.

1

First let's rewind a bit and review seduction basics.

What is seduction, really? It's a form of social interaction that requires basic social skills to get good results.
Social skills would include things like: confidence (for escalation and making moves in general), calibration (for knowing when and how to make moves), logistics (having or making the time and place for things to go down), etc.
Side note: It bears stating that people have different preferences. If you get a bunch of people in a room and ask them who their 10s are, they won't reach consensus. One man's 10 is another man's 6 or 7.

2

I make over six figures

am tall

I consider myself somewhat funny.

I’m taking her on a somewhat nice date tonight.

This is date number 5.

We’ve had sex twice and will hopefully do it again tonight.

So none of these things actually constitute basic seduction skills.

The fact you've had sex a couple times by this point indicates that you at least partly fall into her personal range of taste.

3

I live in NYC so obviously she’s got like 10 other options.

Anyone with self esteem is going to realize they have options.

That includes you. You have options.

4

How can I make sure I’m the best one so she keeps coming back?

This involves her personal taste. You have no control over that.

What's worse, if you go into all of this with the attitude that you're trying to outcompete the entire city of NYC, then you could unintentionally come off as massively insecure, which could ironically make you less attractive to her and/or drive her away.

5

Confidence is a mindset, but how to build it if you don't have it?

A

Faking it until you make it can be a temporary shot in the arm, but if that fakery isn't supported by something real, then it'll collapse in the real world.

B: An alternative

Find something that challenges you. Like learning a new language, a martial art, or a social partner dance (Salsa, Argentine Tango, West Coast Swing, Lindy Hop, etc.).

Then allow yourself the luxury of acknowledging your victories along the path of learning that thing. This is a big piece and it requires a personal choice from you.

The key here is that one way to gain real confidence is to learn that you can trust yourself in new situations.

Confidence will never involve trying to force someone to feel something. You're going to lose when you fall into that kind of thinking.

Title	How can I make sure I’m the best option she has?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	124
Date	July 8, 2022 3:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vudszt/how_can_i_make_sure_im_the_best_option_she_has/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-make-sure-im-the-best-option-she-has.1254997 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254997

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