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[–]Impossible_Plenty616 38 points39 points40 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
bro just talk to the ppl you want to talk to
[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah the thing is I dont know if my standards are too high. I just dont have a reference to go off of to know what kind of girls physically would be attracted to me since the last girl that liked me wa in high school and that was like 4 years ago.
[–]ModeratorElbynerual 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Literally only one way to find out. Go talk to them
[–]SantoSturmio 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Show yourself and I will tell you what League you're in
[–]norwegiandoggo 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
the last girl that liked me was when I was in high school but she was way out of my league looks wise.
This is a self-contradictory statement. If a girl likes you, she's in your league. End of story.
Don't worry about leagues. If a girl likes you, who are you to second guess her? It makes no sense. It's just insecurity. When a girl shows you or tells you that she likes you, believe her.
[–]Guitargeroge 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
There are no leagues.
[–]halfanimalman 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nothing is true, everything is permitted
[–]ResponsibilityKey427 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
so do you think you are in the same league as an NFL star?
Leagues exist bro. Top value dudes get most of the play.
[–]Guitargeroge 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Top value dudes are just dudes who have traits that are percieved as attractive. There is no magical border between you or them that divides them into a seperate category. These traits can be anything from personality and charisma to appearance and a lot of that can be achieved and worked on once you stop using the idea of "leagues" as an excuse to not work on yourself or take risks and rejections.
Just talk to the women you want to talk you. If you avoid doing that because you figure they are in a different league than you are, then you didn't have a chance in the first place. Start being prestigeless and go out there and try. Or you could continue avoiding talking to the girls you actually want to talk to because they belong to a higher league than you. I'm sure they'd find that mindset attractive also.
[–]ResponsibilityKey427 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I dont think knowing there are leagues will cause someone to stop working on themselves.
In fact, I think it would push ppl to work on themselves since they know they aren’t on their level.
[–]Guitargeroge 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OP's tries to approach women were supposedly affected by the idea of leagues.
It might not make people stop working on themselves. But there are still no leagues. What you are referring to might be explained by the word level or rank. But the word league is just the wrong choice of word as it implies there is no overlapping competition between these leagues. If OP or someone decides to approach a girl in a higher league and thus provide competition against guys in said league, then that renders the concept itself irrelevant and inaccurate.
[–]MrDownhillRacer 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When we tell people "there are no leagues," it doesn't literally means that attractiveness matching isn't a thing, or that hot people aren't more likely to seek out similarly hot people.
That stuff happens for the same reason that teachers tell students "there are no stupid questions."
Of course there are stupid questions. It's just that if the teacher says that, then many students are going to be too self-conscious to raise their hands and engage in class and learn something. They won't get better if they have that limiting belief. They will never get to the point where they are smart enough to not have to ask "stupid questions."
You fill the head of somebody who is just starting out with "leagues," he's just never going to try. Never trying means never learning or gaining experience. That means never getting to the point where he can get with women in the higher leagues.
[–]tractorinballs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t know why you’d compare yourself to an nfl star, you wouldn’t even run in the same circles where you could meet those women…. Or they’re total thots or call girls which anyone could pull.
[–]ResponsibilityKey427 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You proved my point tho.
Ya I wouldn’t be around that circle because I’m not in the same league as them.
I don’t have their status, wealth, etc
[–]tractorinballs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s not really about leagues though. It’s about class. Leagues don’t exist within class, but beyond that, lifestyle differs too much to maintain a relationship. You could bang a super hot person though if they were broke.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]nopornthrowaways 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tbh I actually think leagues exist, buuut you’re better off thinking leagues don’t exist. By focusing on leagues, you set arbitrary limits on yourself
[–]Chenchurrio 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I mean the Premier league, La liga, Serie A, NFL, MLB. Lots of leagues. Now dating wise? If you think there are leagues then you're setting a limit and standards for situations that are very much subjective.
[–]Elegant_Weasel2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
no. there aren't. just have standards and apply them to everyone, regardless of their beauty or social status. no one is above you by virtue of existing, and you can't get the other details until you talk to them.
[–]Guitargeroge 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No not really.
[–]Silverismoney17 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you somebody says it! If someone is attracted to you they don’t care what “league” your in people have their likes and dislikes that’s it..
[–]uselessthrowaway5050 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Definitely earned my downvote with this one. I’ll bet my entire life savings and everything I own that a guy making like 20k a year and weighs 300lbs and hasn’t shaved or washed his face all year and has no game is not walking into a bar and bagging a model looking girl making 6 figures lol.
[–]Ribbet537 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding about what "leagues" are. Leagues are NOT about looks. Leagues are standards. Most girls want a guy who has a stable job and if you don't then you aren't in her league. Most girls want a guy who can take care of himself so if you're a slob then you aren't in her league.
The point is not to talk to girls in your league, the point is to get yourself into the top league. Improve yourself into someone girls want to date.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Leagues aren’t relevant unless you choose to make them relevant… They are all women and they all respond to how you make them feel. If they feel nothing for you it won’t matter if you are in her league or not.
What you need to focus is on saying shit that makes her feel desired, joy, comfort, trust, laughter, anticipation, and sexual tension.
[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Like i sad leagues are irrelevant. You can perfectly go for super hot women or ugly women… what matters when it comes to attraction is how you make them feel with you.
[–]determinator94 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude… leagues are arguably more harmful to how we choose our mates. When someone tells you “I’m out of your league,” it’s someone’s way of saying “I’m far better than you.” All leagues do is separate and divide people more. Reframe league as a constant reminder to always level up and increase your value.
[–]Live-Ad-6309 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Leagues don't exist. Approach women you find attractive.
People are notoriously bad at judging their own attractiveness and you never know what kind of fucked up fetish that 10 has.
[–]Quirky_Tale_9739 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Approach everyone you find attractive.
[–]ikeepon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Join the NFGL: No F*cks Given League. We approach whomever we like, whenever we like! Lol.
[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao sign me up
[–]Mustafa_Kamel 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
leagues are a myth to keep self conscious men (and women) down
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
If you have no experience with women, you're in the minor leagues bro
[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
lol true
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
To answer your question though, the best way to figure out what kind of girls you can attract is by approaching a variety of different girls and seeing which ones are receptive to you.
thats true
[–]dheidjdedidbe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
And if no one is receptive to you, you are below any league?
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It means you don't even play the sport lol. Is that what you're going through?
[–]dheidjdedidbe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah pretty much
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Feel free to reach out if you want guidance
[–]real_mort 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Talk to her if you find her attractive Why would you approach someone you don't find attractive just bc they're "in your league"?
[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]real_mort 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I understand but you don't want to settle either. Also looks matter more to men than they do to women. Even if you're less attractive than her, doesn't mean she won't find you attractive
[–]marianoktm 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Leagues are a cliché.
Just approach whoever you like.
[–]Infinite_Net_5075 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just talk to all women. They will let you know about your designated league.
[–]Ribbet537 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Literally everyone is saying the same thing "doesn't matter, just try" and you, OP, have the same response to all of them (often copy and paste) saying it does matter. If you weren't going to listen to the answer of the community, why did you ask the question?
[–]MrDownhillRacer 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My strategy has always just been to approach people I'm attracted to, even if they're out of my league. If I get shot down, I'm no worse off than before I asked.
Of course, I'm not delusional about it. I do things to increase my attractiveness and increase my success with more attractive women. It's just that I'm not waiting until I hit the pinnacle of physical perfection before I start trying. I'm just doing both.
I can only work on what I can change, anyway. I hit the gym. I dress well. I can't do much about my face, so tough luck that I don't have Timothy Chalamet's jawline. My life would be easier if I did, but there's no point whining about it. Touch luck that I'm only 5'7.5. My life would be easier if I were 6'2", but I'm not going to lash out at women for having a preference for tall guys.
Sure, I could aim lower. But I'm not going to be happy if I'm with somebody I'm not attracted to just because she's "attainable." I just shoot for the moon, and even if 80% aren't interested, the 20% of hot women who for whatever reason are into me anyway will suffice.
[–]theosamabahama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you wanna do cold approach, it doesn't matter. Cold approach is all about learning and casting a wide net. Even if you don't get the hottest girls, you are still learning from the experience of approaching and talking to them.
But if you wanna know what league you are in, well, girls generally like guys who are confident, have a good casual and fun conversation and have something interesting going in their lives. They also like status and financial stability, but they won't expect that from you until you are like 25, so don't worry about that. As long as you are working towards a career you should be fine. But really, you are only gonna know what league you are in once you start getting lucky with girls. Your league will be the same as theirs. If you pick up girls who are 7s, you are 7, basically.
[–]AT_Bane 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Approach all of them. All the ones you find attractive, hit ‘em with your best charm and let the conversation flow from there
[–]facingattrition 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Approach and recalibrate. Rinse and repeat.
Only one way to find out, just go talk to women. You’ll be subconsciously rating them on their personality and appearance in your mind, and over time you’ll figure out which women on that spectrum you’re having the most success with. If you feel very confident and comfortable talking to them but you would never date or have sex with them, you’re out of their league, if you get the feeling that a woman is confident and comfortable talking to you but you also get the feeling they would never date or fuck you they’re out of your league or you have self esteem issues. I had low self esteem issues for some time. In high school, I let dudes who, in retrospect, were worse looking, not as smart, and not as athletic talk shit about me and make fun of me and how I did things so I just felt that talking to girls was pointless so I didn’t even try. Now all of a sudden these same girls, some even who I thought didn’t even notice me are the first to open my instagram story and I had one tell me she used to have a crush on me and another tell me I was the cutest guy in my magnet program lol. So I’d just say find a way to be more confident about yourself, and when you feel like you’re the most confident you can be, you’ll have the most accurate representation of what girls are in and out of your league and which ones leagues you’re in and out of, possibly even overshooting it a little but why not go for a girl who really is out of your league every once in awhile? Ya never know!
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you’ve got the balls to cold approach go after the hottest girl you’re attracted to. Go after the 9’s and 10’s but don’t be surprised if you settle for a 5 or a 6. Women have a huge advantage in the dating world. They just have too many options and the reality is, in most cases, you don’t get the girl you want you get the girl that wants you.
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You dont need to know what league you are in. You should assume you are the hottest guy and you should approach the hottest women. If they say no, then step down and approach the second hottest women. And so forth.
[–]VDKay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I should be cold approaching based on my looks
Why? Who says so? Where did you read that?
In general, it's not a very good idea to start off by trying to appeal to women. Have women try to qualify to you. Are they in your league?
My rule of thumb for cold-approaching is simple: "Would I fuck her, even one time?"
[–]8BitMunky 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Champions League. Don't categorize yourself, just approach whomever you find hot and don't think too much about it.
I know too well how it feels to overthink all the time, but I've been pushing myself lately and I'm feeling a lot more confident about approaching girls and just being myself.
[–]DesperateWhiteMan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're always at least 1 league above any woman
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[–]Impossible_Plenty616 38 points39 points40 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ResponsibilityKey427 -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]Elegant_Weasel2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mustafa_Kamel 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 3 points4 points5 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Puzzleheaded_Sell684 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dheidjdedidbe 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dheidjdedidbe 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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