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[–]zinvl 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
In my experience and most of my friends', Tinder isn't worth your time & energy bro. One of my best mate is tall, has an attractive face & is very confident. His dating game is strong af, yet after 3 months on Tinder he only got 2 dates and his pictures were definitely good 🤣
The thing with this app is you'll just build desire through the scrolling process without getting anywhere near the same amount of effort you're putting in in return. Dating should be a fun & equal game. Tinder is neither of both.
[+]Important-Quote9544 -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Then his profile wasnt that good or he isn’t that attractive…. I know attractive dudes that pull hella on tinder
[–]zinvl 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tbh pretty much every female friends I have who met him said he definitely is. Where do you live tho ? I'm Swiss so the experience might differ
[–]Important-Quote9544 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Canada
[–]daddysgotanew 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. Men’s view of attractive and women’s is very different
[–]unfknblvbe 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
High quality photos make sure you importing good stuff at high res
[–]AnonProgress22 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good point. I've been telling myself to get better at taking pictures, both of myself and everything else but I never got round to it. Maybe now is better than ever to start.
[–]ZoeticLark 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No bathroom pics and step out of the car lol
[–]robbywallstreet 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Delete all apps. Look your best, be in shape, dress well, and approach women in real life until you develop outcome independence and a solid confident set of go to opening lines and conversation.
An attractive girl shopping in Target might have 80 dudes messaging her on Tinder she's not interested in other than attention and hoping someone will really stand out ,or she many not even have Tinder.
Either way, a bird in the hand, she sees you in real life, if she finds you somewhat attractive and confident you just got a date.
Normal guys with zero matches on Tinder or who get a few matches that go nowhere could get 4 dates a day out in the real world if they'd do what 99% of other guys don't and take initiative.
[–]Otherwise_Fail_1757 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree. I’m not attractive and I’m short so I only get attention from ugly and fat girls on the apps. But I approach hot girls in real life and because of my confidence Game and masculinity I have a shot. You get massive attraction points in real life for approaching in real life and then you can demo straight your personality and masculinity in a way you can’t on an app.
[–]Alternative-Purple293 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Agreed!
[–]Important-Quote9544 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is cap. If you are attractive enough to pull by cold approach you can def pull on apps.
[–]artofmajic 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not necessarily. Some of us dont take good pics or we just aren’t photogenic but in person might get more compliments or signs of interest from the opposite sex way more than social media
[–]Senzatie3579 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol what in the fuck, so you're telling me you look like a male model but you can't afford to spend ÂŁ100 on 5 tinder photos with a photographer?
LOL!
[–]artofmajic 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes. $100 to spend on photos just to get a a date is crazy to me
[–]Senzatie3579 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus how can you be that broke and want to date?
You're telling me you'd rather try hard and spend a huge amount of time talking to 100 women in person and get 99 rejections to maybe get laid once, burn through your social circle when word gets around, instead of taking some photos and having dozens of dates from dating apps with women who ALREADY find you attractive?
If it works for you, keep it up lol.
[–]mightymite88 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Shit son. I'm pretty good in person, and on other apps. But Tinder is so shallow I've never had luck there. Good luck. But maybe you should try finding a better platform? I have lots of dates without Tinder
[–]AnonProgress22 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I might try Bumble or Hinge.
What puts me off on Tinder isn't the shallowness, I'm not surprised by that. It's the fact that the vast majority of women don't even put effort into their profile, not even a single sentence about them.
I guess you have to play the game, right?
[–]HorusCok 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. You can opt-out. There's a whole men's movement about that.
[–]mightymite88 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gotta play the game. I've heard hinge is good but haven't tried it. Bumblebee has been better for me than tinder but still not great. I'm older so I'm still using POF lol just set on my ways. But it's still working for me the best of the 3 I've tried
Lol…the ones that do t write anything are dudes trying to get you to another website for pay.
[–]RastaPilot737 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've gotten a girl out with her putting absolutely nothing on her bio, just pics.
[–]Alternative-Purple292 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This exactly!!!!
[–]Important-Quote9544 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lean face, muscular frame, nice hair, nice jaw, social status, wealth, nice eyebrows. Show these in pics.
[–]Victordobado 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
None of these stuff matter if you’re 5’0” though lol, except for maybe wealth
[–]Alternative-Purple297 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I think your best bet is to meet girls in person. It puts you ahead of all the online guys no matter what you look like. Seriously, go to the grocery store for an hour. I do pretty well in person and I just talk. I don’t really have any game yet. At 42 yes old. Lol. I just talk to everyone and naturally win by just being fluid in my conversations. Online you get lost in a sea of pics. No way to judge if you have an ounce of self confidence. Women don’t care about looks like men do. As long as you are not hideous, you have a 50/50 chance with any girl, assuming she is sexually available!
[–]Regular_Dealer_5077 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Taking on some martial arts (kickbox in my case) classes helped me massively. It can get you in shape and builds your confidence which girls can sense.
Also taking some time to get good pictures is worth it. Plan a day with a friend and do somewhat of a shoot. I did that and it was a fun day and the pictures were great.
Also you can start out on bumble to build your texting game as tinder in general is a bit harder because you need to open the conversation. Good luck!
[–]dheidjdedidbe 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Avoid all apps. They are all scams and guys will never get matches
[–]Important-Quote9544 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
*ugly low value guys dont get matches. Good looking guys clean up.
[–]dheidjdedidbe 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I’m an attractive and high value guy. We don’t get matches
[–]daddysgotanew 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oooof who’s gonna tell him? 🤣
[–]Important-Quote9544 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
huh? then you are not that high value or attractive. I know tons of attractive and high value dudes that do very well.
They get messaged first and get asked to meet up, get tons of matches a day like 5-10.
[–]dheidjdedidbe 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I’m 6’2” athletic, have a good social life, own a home at 24, have a good career starting, and have interesting hobbies. Don’t know what else I can do
[–]daddysgotanew 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Sorry about your face. None of that matters on apps. These chicks you’re matching with own houses and a Rover at 21 selling pics on OF. They’re not impressed
[–]dheidjdedidbe 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Good point. Any ideas on how I can start to compete with every other guy both on and off of apps?
[–]daddysgotanew -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Get rich or good looking, or both. It’s gonna be near impossible but may be worth a try
[–]dheidjdedidbe 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately I won’t ever be rich. My field (forestry) maxes out at 80 to 100k salary.
I work out daily. And am in phenomenal shape. I just don’t know what sort of surgery I would even need to get.
[–]Important-Quote9544 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think you havnt optimized your profile. You need good pics. The guys that do well put in a lot of time in their profiles, constantly updating their pics and taking pics.
It may not sound worth it, but it is in the long run because you stack up your rotation then take a break.
I have 2 professional pics, some nature/activity pics, and a social pic. I also have a light hearted describing profile/prompts
I’ve had Reddit as well as lots of friends (guys and gals) tell me that it’s good enough to at least get something. I’ll do it to you
[–]Victordobado 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Surely you’ve gotten at least some matches with those stats and gotten laid?
[–]dheidjdedidbe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nothing. In real life I’ve only been rejected, even after girls approached and flirted with me.
Online? Never even had a like.
I’ve never even hugged a girl before
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Work out, and improve your style. Then learn how to take really good socially intelligent pics for tinder, bumble, hinge, and facebook dating.
[–]Muaythaimonk 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get jacked. Pay for high quality model photos. Have a dog. Look visibly wealthy. The end.
[–]OThinkingDungeons 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There's pretty good guides out there on how to dominate online dating, but honestly so few people read them it's sad.
This represents one of the best guides out there: https://www.zirby.co/blog/tinder-profile-guide
In a nutshell it's about knowing what photos work and how to get them and actually putting in the work to get them. Online dating platforms are visual platforms, not having good photos makes as much sense as having a car that can't go from A to B.
[–]Alternative-Purple29 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Your best bet is to meet girls in person. It puts you ahead of all the online guys no matter what you look like. Seriously, go to the grocery store for an hour. I do pretty well in person and I just talk. I don’t really have any game yet. At 42 yes old. Lol. I just talk to everyone and naturally win by just being fluid in my conversations. Online you get lost in a sea of pics. No way to judge if you have an ounce of self confidence. Women don’t care about looks like men do. As long as you are not hideous, you have a 50/50 chance with any girl, assuming she is sexually available!
[–]Important-Quote9544 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It doesnt pull you ahead...
The high value guy is ahead regardless of cold approach or dating apps.
The problem is that there are tons of very high value guys on dating apps that are willing to meet. So you cold approaching doesnt auto put you ahead of him. Stop the bull
[–]willgo-waggins -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right.
And as a high value guy I am even farther ahead in person.
I’ll tell you I have some luck here and there in the apps. But it’s mostly very random/ timing based. Like they happen to be looking when I’m on doing a boost because I am bored.
Now Bumble is much better in my experience and that includes just hookups. Tinder is very difficult even with everything optimized because of the huge number of bots, scammers and women who simply seek validation attention. It’s not really worth it to me to be paying for when I pull fine IRL and from other sources.
[–]FlatDistance5 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Get to a low bodyfat %, then do a lot of professional activity photos so for example playing beach volleyball with your friends, riding a motorcycle not posing but being active. Mix that with some casual/slightly sexy photos shirtless staring into the camera. With some being in a suit staring away, others showing off your fashion sense. NO BATHROOM SELFIES
Have it like a theme first pic sexy casual, 2nd activity, 3rd sexy, 4th activity, 5 casual, 6th activity.
Hire someone to make a great sexual bio and you shouldn’t have any issues..
My recommendation for tinder is Austin Dunham, and Playing with fire (they’re great for text game too)
[–]dheidjdedidbe 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I’ve done that (minus a suit) and still have never gotten a match.
All apps are scams
[–]FlatDistance5 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Hmm sorry to hear that. I would go get help. Go to Playing with fire. And have doods who have results check your shit. Maybe your doing a lot of things wrong and you don’t know it
[–]dheidjdedidbe 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
There’s nothing that they could help me with. No amount of money can fix my ugly. Even with professional pics and dating coaches, I am still not enough.
[–]Otherwise_Fail_1757 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol, stop crying, I’m short and ugly and I pull attractive girls, I just have to approach more girls in person. Stop being a pussy and get out and do approaches. You’ll get rejected but who gives a fuck how often you get rejected, you still get laid.
[–]dheidjdedidbe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve been rejected hundreds of times
[–]FlatDistance5 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve been rejected 1000s of times it’s part of the process my guy
[–]universalvoid87 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Plastic surgery and tinder gold
[–]DryBumblebee9029 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think its just the name of the game. Oversupply of men. Basically what you do In my eyes wont bring you closer to your goal. It's like asking what can I do to get better at gambling.....maybe don't.
[–]Important-Quote9544 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oversupply of low value guys. Good looking high value guys get it all.
[–]Richi_Boi -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Attractive hobbies; Music; Sports (anything but just hitting the gym); Put your sign in your bio ♑️; Anything with animals
Maybe you dont read it... but women read that stuff!
Men by far outnumber women there, so you really need to stand out. And consider other options
[–]Intelligent_Risk_728 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've never been on tinder or here before today for that matter but money doesn't make you attractive or for at least someone that you're going to want to be around, the working on yourself and trying to build a social circle is a good start, I don't know about an internet social circle? I really feel kinda forced to be on here now, what's the point in tinder away? To have a relationship or to screw a bunch of ppl ether way the sites probably not what you want in your life. Sex is awesome till you find Love and then it's meaningless, well that might not be right because I tind to love myself the most while single and have a lot of sex then to which is usually how I wined up in a bad relationship
No doubt!
[–]lauraxcastillo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
define success on tinder though
[–]HorusCok 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Drink more alcohol...
Oh wait. that's backwards. Text your matches to have THEM start drinking before video call or in person meets.
[–]NervousGamedev 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Honestly I think the bio is where it's at. Women are a lot more tolerant of not-super-hot men than the reverse. But it really depends what you're looking for. My partner is a self identified slut and we both show each other what we're up to on dating apps for fun. She considers the ridiculously hot looking guys "nice looking dildos" because she's found good looking guys are generally less good at sex and less interesting people overall. I'm conventionally attractive enough to have some success on Tinder but a lot of that didn't start happening for me until I rigorously curated my profile photos/bio. Paying for features like extra super likes and using them confidently also made a big difference. There are 3x as many men as women on Tinder (according to the company) so a big part of it for men is getting your profile seen at all.
[–]Senzatie3579 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol that's fucking bullshit.
Why would extremely hot men be worse at sex or have boring personalities?
If anything, being hot means sleeping with a lot more women and getting much better at sex.
Also, hot men get invited to all parties and social events, everybody wants to be around them so it's hard to be boring in that position.
[–]NervousGamedev 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it sounds counterintuitive at first, but I can try to break down my theory as to how this phenomenon occurs.
Conventionally hot men who sleep around a lot don't tend to sleep with the same person more than once or twice, and tend not to ask for genuine feedback either because they're overconfident or just "selfish lovers". As a result a lot of women will exaggerate or fake orgasms to save the man's self esteem, which gives unreliable feedback. Not that the sex was totally unpleasurable for her, just not nearly as good as the guy thinks. It's important to note that not having an orgasm may have more to do with her comfort level with the guy they're having sex with than the actual techniques being applied, and it's hard to create that comfort level when men don't invest more than a couple nights. Hot guys may get laid plenty but that experience doesn't necessarily make them great in bed.
There's also such a thing as "pretty privilege" where if you're conventionally attractive, you get more attention by default regardless of your personality. Obviously it depends on the person but the truth is people are willing to overlook A LOT of flaws if they think you're good looking. And again, this positive feedback sends the message that they're more interesting than they think they are. It doesn't hold up when people get to know them better than surface level stuff.
When you're not amazing looking, you've gotta work a little harder to get/keep people's attention. One way to do that is to be genuinely great in bed, which is very achievable when you ask for criticism, take it seriously, and give your sexual partners lots of reasons to feel safe with you. You don't have to be in that so-called "top 10%" (whatever that means to you) to get laid, you just need to clean yourself up and invest effort in other areas where you can make yourself more appealing.
Again, I'm just going by what women have told me, which seems like a pretty reliable source. I'm not saying it applies to all good looking men - it's a generalization based on other people's lived experience.
[–]daddysgotanew 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately, it’s one of those things you’re born with (face). You either have it or ya don’t
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some fake people act like they are trying to help, but they actually aren’t.
They don’t want you to succeed, in fact they want to discourage you, so that you can continue to live a miserable life.
You are one of those people.
All your answers in reddit, are designed to discourage people, and bringing them down. Basically saying that they are hopeless.
You say: “Just want to make people open their eyes, and accept reality as it is” as if that’s gonna help them, but the truth is you don’t want to help them, you just want to feel good about yourself. It’s all done for selfish reasons.
If others succeeded, you would feel shit about yourself. Toxic people like you should be banned, because you don’t help anyone at all.
[–]Otherwise_Fail_1757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, don’t listen to this pick. If your ugly like me you can still get hot girls. You need confidence, masculinity and game and a willingness to go through rejection. Do approaches, develop your game and don’t give two fucks about your looks and you will attract women.
[–]invaderjif 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just lie. Take Chris Hemsworth or some clearly not you celebrity, throw your face on it (don't bother being careful with the photoshop they already know it's fake), and boom.
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
$$$$$$$
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[–]zinvl 36 points37 points38 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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