My first day of cold approach was a disaster

kustoob · 2022-02-28T14:43:23+00:00

Respect for even trying something. Even if you didn't get an approach you have experience. Good job man. Get em next time!

pokemonpokemonmario · 2022-02-28T14:52:15+00:00

I found I couldn't approach when I went out with the only goal being approaching.

Let's say you're on a train and girl is sat near you, just start talking with her about anything and see how it goes. Or in the line at the grocery store, regular day to day activities when ever you see a woman you are attracted too.

NineteenAD9 · 2022-02-28T17:47:39+00:00

This is why if you're new to cold approach, you shouldn't go places strictly to cold approach. Why? Because you are 100% outcome dependent and you're not good at it yet to justify that type of mindset.

Instead, you should go places where you actually have to be or want to be at: Gym, grocery store, concert, festival, game, restaurant, etc. And if you meet women there, it's just a plus.

If you don't get a number at the grocery store, so what? You went to the grocery store...for groceries. If you don't get a number in line at a restaurant, so what? You went there for food.

Keep trying. Eventually, you'll get over the anxiety. Just get out of your head and keep it simple.

UnusualLight0 · 2022-02-28T14:57:26+00:00

No don't feel bad that is fine, it is just your first day. It is ok, you are trying. I would say ,as I am starting to get into cold approach too, work yourself up. It sounds weird but make your goal as small as possible, and then build off of that.

What helps me is talking to people, almost anyone, even retail workers start talking to them first, (they have to talk to you anyway), talk to 1-3 of them about anything then I think your mood will be better but DO NOT GIVE UP.

Electrical-Agency-11 · 2022-02-28T17:52:28+00:00

Hey man congratulations. You have no idea the strength that builds inside you.. women are nature, and they rejecting you is nature telling you hour genetics are not Worthy. The end goal is reaching a point in which you don't really care about that. That's when results come.

Individual-Bobcat947 · 2022-03-01T10:07:17+00:00

I was in same postition for about a week. Hated myself going by 9'ns who made eye contact with me. Then i just tryed one approach a day, without caring.. then in one day i got 2 numbers of hot girls.. now i got confident and approach when and where i want. Going against youre fear gives u some new skills btw

Snakehead004 · 2022-02-28T18:16:38+00:00

Ya'll don't get it. This subreddit often misleads men and possibly creates some toxic situations/intentions.

It's not about constantly scoping our girls to "cold approach" it's about becoming a sociable, friendly and confident person. Fuck yeah it's intimidating to go out there with the whole perpose being to "game" women. Because it's creepy and not how you should approach the situation. Just be friendly and talkative to EVERYONE! See a dude wearing your favorite teams jersey, tell him it's sick! See an old women struggling to open the mall door while carrying bags, hold it for her, give her the million dollar smile and say "hey, how are you today?"

Then, when you see the attractive girl you can just casually make conversation like you've been doing all day. No pressure, no worries. You're a cool, friendly, outgoing person and everyone will feel your vibe.

Best of luck bro!

actual__literature · 2022-02-28T18:21:44+00:00

I go with the mindset just to talk to a girl that’s it. I expect nothing else from the interaction. If I talked to any no matter the outcome then it is a success in my book. Over the weekend I approached 3 and got the number of 1 and we been texting but don’t think she’s that interested and nothing more than chit chat came from the other (I approached a group of 2 women that were together).

Mission-Elevator-100 · 2022-02-28T20:30:02+00:00

Next time try to approach out of nowhere, without prepping and going out with purpose. Going out with purpose of approaching gives me big anxiety too. Just try to go for one whenever you're out doing groceries or something. Less pressure.

GL !

Nearby_Advance7443 · 2022-03-01T02:38:14+00:00

Yeah, just keep your head up man. Once during a break-up, suddenly I hit a random moment of like perfect text game with an old college classmate. Like, sex seemed practically certain. And she was FUCKING HOT. I literally got her into my bed, but I was overloaded with anxiety and thoughts about my ex, and I couldn’t get out of interview mode (she even commented that I needed to talk to her more naturally). She didn’t even end up rejecting me, I told her she should leave and walked her out to her car! I proceeded to drink my failure away and dealt with a horrible depression exacerbated by the following day’s hangover.

But it was a huge learning experience. Even nervous as fuck, I got her into my bed. If I had just located my balls and kissed her, even poorly, at that point it very very likely would’ve happened. Think of it as learning how to snowboard. It’s REALLY daunting, but if you just stick to the fundamentals and keep picking yourself back up when you fall, you can learn relatively fast (I got decent after spending about twelve hours on the slopes). And guess what? I was probably more sore all over my body than I still ever have been in my life (and that was eleven years ago). Rejection hurts. But just keep picking yourself back up and remember your fundamentals.

I mean, recall that Barney Stinson actually had an atrocious batting average with chicks. And yeah, he’s fictional, but he is a good representation at just learning to let rejection roll off you.

dabbadabadabb · 2022-03-01T17:17:59+00:00

You tried. Learned and now have experience. The next step is to make changes and try again. Same cycle, there's only one difference- You are improving everytime. This is coming from another shy kid. But I'm glad there are people making efforts to get what they Want.

lowfrec · 2022-03-14T17:12:19+00:00

Maybe I'm wrong but I'm having a hard time digging some of these comments saying that you want to become the best version of yourself and make money and look good before you even start trying. I don't know if I agree with this and it feels kinda toxic. I've seen plenty of guys that don't have a lot going on career wise get a lot of very attractive girls, or are you supposed to become a CEO before you even think about talking to them haha correct me if I'm wrong. I feel like you should always work on yourself so there's nothing wrong with trying things out along the way.

Woujo · 2022-02-28T17:35:04+00:00

That's normal.

Next time make your goal to just walk around giving people compliments. Men, women, dogs. Everything. Just a compliment and move on.

Once you can do that you can move to saying something else after the compliment.

eddiecash303 · 2022-02-28T18:14:57+00:00

My advice is to travel & post on social media. When you travel you already outside your comfort zone. & when you post on social media of your adventures women will flock to you 😎 fyi this method is not cheap, but at least you get to enjoy your life

00ogen · 2022-02-28T14:44:18+00:00

So you didn’t have a cold approach day. You never approached once.

Charge36 · 2022-02-28T19:01:39+00:00

Honestly I found going out to cold approach in random public areas to be mostly unproductive. Go places where it's more socially acceptable to strike up conversation with strangers. Bars, festivals, social clubs etc. If you have the means, solo travel was very helpful for me. Stayed in hostels for 6 months and had to make new friends every day.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-02-28T19:52:31+00:00

Just more motivation for next time. Don’t get discouraged, keep pushing through that anxiety. Start with just asking a girl for directions then build your way up to going more direct.

Efficient-Evening911 · 2022-02-28T20:29:03+00:00

What you are feeling is totally normal many pickup artists and people ôn the field speaked about how it looks easy seeing it but doing is a whole different thing so dont feel discourage you will eventually arrive too a point where you feel totally immune to that approach anxiety and u will laught about ur self how u were t the begining

ForsakenVE · 2022-02-28T20:47:13+00:00

Don't feel bad bro, we've all been there. All that matters is that you do not give up and try again.

Just remember that the feeling you're feeling right now is much worse than rejection so next time you start hesitating remember the feeling and take action

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-02-28T21:35:23+00:00

hey dude you gave it a shot, i can't do it that easily either. Keep grinding homie👌🏻

oreopimp · 2022-02-28T21:49:09+00:00

You're only a loser if you never try. You got closer this time to facing your fear than you did before. Next time you're get further. As you psychologically acclimate to that further step, you'll get even closer to your goal. Nothing is a disaster, your mind and your psychology uses everything you subject it to to keep growing and learning. It's about the trajectory, not the results.

NegotiationMedical21 · 2022-02-28T22:19:08+00:00

Probably not the answer you want but your time is probably better spent somewhere else on something else doing something more productive. Maybe work on yourself. I see a lot of guys talking about “game “ and the only real game you need is to not be needy.

And the only way to not be needy is to work on the parts of yourself that are needy.

Try reading the book Models by Mark Manson.

Either way, I respect you for trying to get out and approach. But I really think you’re time is better spent on yourself and not “game”

reallyslowvan · 2022-02-28T22:57:42+00:00

did u even say hi to one girl?

Dad7025 · 2022-03-01T01:16:33+00:00

Who advised you that “cold approach “is a good tactic for seducing women?

FitnessBoy1738 · 2022-03-01T02:58:22+00:00

It’s ok bro it’s happens start small if you can you know asking the time, asking for directions etc then start exchanging names after awhile, then yk add in a what are you up to. do 15 people anyone asking do you know the time in one day then go try do one actual approach see if it’s easier, that momentum helps big time bro, btw we all go through what you went to and might even happen again

Professional-Chain20 · 2022-03-01T03:17:24+00:00

Focused too much on the game and not enough on the man. If you were solid and confident in what you bring, you would be ok with talking because you don’t care about the result. No matter what, I’m solid. Too worried about an outcome and not just meeting someone and having a real human interaction. Approaching in the mall? You literally took 7 hours of your day to cold approach because of what you learned on YouTube? Here’s the best advise I’ll give you.

Stop even thinking about girls until you are on your masculine drive and purpose. If you are constantly ogling women and scared of them, that’s a lack of confidence in what you got going on.

See, it’s not supposed to be hard. You should focus on yourself until you are confident walking up to anyone, male, female, fat or fit, hot or ugly, as just a person and when you can build human connection with anyone, then you can learn “game” and tactics.

See the idea is to be a 1%er. That doesn’t mean you got millions of dollars but that means you are different from 99% of men. If a woman senses this weak, scared energy off of you, you’re done anyways. What do 1%ers do? Handle their shit! Work, don’t live in mommas house, have drive and passion for what they do. I don’t care If you sell Porta potties, be the FUCKING BEST at it. 1%ers perfect their physique, 99% dont. 1%ers learn and gain valuable knowledge In Their free time, 99%ers eat junk, play Xbox and beat their meat to girls they will never ever have the balls to even talk to. Associating your hand with intimacy, your screen with hot women, you’re already at a disadvantage.

Fuck approaching women until you fix the man.

Hope that helps

canofcanasta · 2022-03-01T03:35:06+00:00

First time doing it. Let yourself off the hook. Go back out in a week and just say hi to women. That’s all. Don’t even worry about sealing the deal. Just say hello or how’s it going and just keep moving.

Then try starting conversations with women, as many as you can, doesn’t matter the age, or whether you’re attracted to them, just strike up conversations. At the store, waiting in line. Just talk about the weather. Keep it simple and build.

That will get you in the habit and help you become a better conversationalist, so when you do encounter a woman you’re attracted to it won’t be such a big deal.

DependentAd1504 · 2022-03-01T04:20:24+00:00

It's ok... it's meant to be disaster in early stages. Just get it wrong enough times and learn through it and then you'll start getting it right . That's how it works

incognito3107 · 2022-03-01T07:46:58+00:00

Just ask for time or a way to certain spot or make a compliment. Little steps, enjoy your progress.

Unfair-Ad-7015 · 2022-03-01T10:22:28+00:00

The whole pick up artist thing is not really addressing the problem. As long as you choose this way to get girls, you’ll feel like a fraud and nothing will last. Try hitting the gym, taking care of hygiene, stylish dressing, and making a lot of money. Then you don’t need to go to malls, and you won’t feel like a fraud. Get game after you have the body at least is my advice.

EU-Howdie · 2022-03-01T13:18:35+00:00

That is not strange. It happens all the time. You prepared yourself bij studying and then first time really trying. doing, is a mess. Happened to me several times (with several different actions like car driving, approaching for sales, bull riding, swimming, and indeed approaching women. Just go on, and you will succeed.

marianoktm · 2022-03-01T13:48:41+00:00

Bro at least you had the courage to go out for approaching! It's still a win! No one becomes super confident about doing something just by watching videos on YouTube. You did great. Next time you will actually try to talk to someone, and even if you'll be rejected it will be still a win because you tried. KEEP GOING! Don't be afraid of failure, it's part of the growth. You MUST fail to succeed.

Independent-Banana52 · 2022-03-11T10:14:12+00:00

Try it out of town might help

fangclan · 2022-04-22T18:16:39+00:00

bro same here I watch some videos before I go out and when I actually see girls I freeze up and approach no one 🙃

Title	My first day of cold approach was a disaster
Author	theorybuddy
Upvotes	44
Comments	64
Date	February 28, 2022 1:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t3g8xc/my_first_day_of_cold_approach_was_a_disaster/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-first-day-of-cold-approach-was-a-disaster.1265700 https://theredarchive.com/post/1265700

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