[Opinion] Women aren't having a good time dating.

Renshato · 2022-02-24T00:55:58+00:00

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ComfortableTouch7832 · 2022-02-24T01:50:12+00:00

I pretty much gave up on internet dating. I'd rather show initiative or get flirted with in person 😂🤗 cuts down on so much confusion

donaldtrumpsmistress · 2022-02-24T01:57:53+00:00

tbf i feel like no one is having a good time dating. We've let a for-profit online dating monopoly (the Match Group, which owns Match, Tinder, POF, Hinge, OkCupid, blackpeoplemeet, I think even the fucking farmers only site) be the arbiter of our dating lives, and their financial interest isnt in helping people connect and partner up, its in keeping you addicted to the apps and the little dopamine hit you get when you get a new match in a seemingly endless sea. It just makes the whole process boring and mundane for everyone involved, and every conversation merges together into a blob.

The solution is to make dating fun and exciting again by normalizing just talking to and hitting on people IRL that you're interested in. Either gender can do it. If you're attracted to someone go say hi, get to know em, and ask em out, and let yourself feel nervous and excited by it. WAY better than letting one company decide who talks to who.

miseraa · 2022-02-23T22:36:08+00:00

This has a lot of merit, there have been countless dates where all I had to do was show up on time, compliment her, make an effort to ask about her, show some interest in her, and just ultimately show some level of confidence and that easily endeared me to her

2022-02-23T22:45:07+00:00

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hniles910 · 2022-02-23T23:51:56+00:00

It's funny to read this cause honestly most guys do this and then the other party rejects them in hope of finding someone better. This is just so hilarious cause they complain they can't find a good guy and then they find a good guy and they say that he is not their type. not to just mention that but also that they will never tell you what is wrong with you or what is their problem with your behaviour and would just rather ghost people cause they don't want to hurt their feelings.

I understand in the past you have been betrayed or treated for granted but that's why you set boundaries with people, I guess common sense is really a rarity these days.

StrivingBetterMe · 2022-02-24T00:01:33+00:00

While this is true, it sucks because it goes both ways. The guys they match with are usually the attractive guys. These guys don’t have to try at all which then in turn makes them turn into assholes most the time because there is always another girl willing to go on a date with them. I’m not a incel by any means, and I think I’m a average looking guy, but I have only had two real dates from online dating and I’m 21. Those two that gave me a chance did turn into girlfriends so you are right about the fact that you just have to be a nice confident guy. The problem is actually getting those dates. I wish it was easier for people like me.

I’d say my main issue is I’m probably the least photogenic person I know.

SnooMacarons6242 · 2022-02-24T00:48:08+00:00

Honestly I’d do that if they ever replied or even bothered to show up lol

fuckouttahea · 2022-02-24T00:38:36+00:00

Because every girl thinks they can get better and it’s on to the next. Then they get disappointed.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-02-24T01:39:27+00:00

You know how girls can improve their dating situation?

By actually making and effort to go out and approach guys.

Edit: Let's be a bit realistic. Saying "it's the guy's job to do the first move" is the reason women aren't having a good time dating.

2022-02-23T22:57:22+00:00

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2022-02-24T00:34:49+00:00

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FlanneryODostoevsky · 2022-02-24T01:51:28+00:00

That’s partly true. But you don’t get the current dating game where assholes have the most success without women feeding them attention and fucking them. Truth be told it doesn’t always work but now and then it does work for those guys and it’s like gambling. If it’s worked just a few times out of hundreds, it’s hard to tell them they’re not successful.

Women need this advice as much as guys. They need to ask guys about who we are, what we enjoy doing, why we enjoy doing it, how we treat our mother and current female friends, and so on. They get used by these shallow mfs and the only reason I don’t find it as sad anymore is because I’ve accepted I can’t do anything about it. Recently a woman told me she’s still not over a situation that didn’t even have commitment to it even tho she ain’t seen the person in months. Not contacted them. So as much as I agree with this post, women need a similar post as well. Some of us guys get miscategorized because we reach out when we’re lonely or horny. They do the same thing and get fucked by some guy they really hate. That’s why the game is so fucked up.

Cloutweb1 · 2022-02-24T01:23:38+00:00

It all depends on the country and culture.

Ketchup571 · 2022-02-23T23:53:27+00:00

Ask those women how many guys they swipe right on. That’s where their problems come from.

LongLiveMacdre · 2022-02-23T23:42:43+00:00

This post is bs, more women are sexually liberated than ever before nowadays and more young men are virgins.

chillbill1220 · 2022-02-23T22:47:56+00:00

A lot of girls get pumped and dumped by higher SMV men. I’m not even saying super high value men. Just men that are one level above them in attractiveness. I’m guilty of this sometimes. I’ll sleep with a girl I view as a 6 or 7 but never commit. I try not to lie or lead them on but I have hurt a couple girls unfortunately

whatever_man135 · 2022-02-23T22:19:44+00:00

Lol most girls are going after the same men ie good looking white guy and a bonus if he’s tall. So when guy has attention from all these girls he can fuck around because he has more options. So these girls are mostly complaining about the same group of guys. So I don’t really care if a girl is “struggling” with online dating tbh.

2022-02-24T00:11:39+00:00

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ninjamiran · 2022-02-24T01:09:26+00:00

Because they high unrealistic standards for guys meanwhile guys while fuck anything or date anything

jbo99 · 2022-02-24T01:13:56+00:00

You said it right there in your post. A "dating hiatus". Voluntary. The women you are describing are choosing not to date. Men just can't get dates altogether. See the difference? I think this is a perfect illustration for why it is different for men and women. I of course can appreciate that women are frustrated not to find men then really do like and have a deep connection with. But you've got options, you're getting practice, you're able to enjoy the experience if you choose to.

Many men can't.

fauxxxx · 2022-02-24T01:40:23+00:00

It's kindda hard feeling sorry for state of women as some guy said, women are a victim of their own delusion.

More men will approach you if you stop labeling them as a creep or put a sexual harassment sticker on them if you don't like their approach, approaching someone is a process of trial and error but most people can't practice this because you lable them as creeps and later when they complain about this, then upgrade the label to incel

Chinksta · 2022-02-24T01:41:57+00:00

All of this modern dating problems don't exist if we all dated within our social circle.

You guys and girls gonna need to expand the irl social circle. Not Instagram or Facebook kind of social circle. If the current one sucks, go through with your hobbies and see where that leads to.

I mean. Isn't this the whole point of going to college parties and other social events?

xonbuhg · 2022-02-23T22:13:45+00:00

I just don’t get it, this sounds unreal. You gotta be like above a 7 to do what’s described here right?

onenitemareatatime · 2022-02-24T01:04:17+00:00

You’re right and wrong.

You’re right women aren’t having a good time necessarily. They are overwhelmed by choice and they use junk standards to get junk guys and the cycle repeats.

Their experience is VASTLY different than that of men who struggle to even get into the game.

You’re wrong thinking your 1-4 bullet points separate you from the pack.

Extra-Boysenberry · 2022-02-24T01:22:37+00:00

I haven’t found a girl worth “settling down” with. Granted, I’m early 20s, and have my whole life ahead of me, but I have found very few women that were girlfriend material.

Look, I don’t want to sound like an incel, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just about done being the wholesome stand up guy. There’s been so many times I’ve gone on great dates, built some connections with someone, all for it just to go to waste. A lot of the girls in my demographic aren’t looking for something serious, so I stopped acting serious. Many girls would rather get wasted at a frat party, and sleep around. Not saying all of them, but it’s been true with many girls I’ve come across and know. I think there’s been a culture shift with women and dating. They feel more liberated sexually and socially.

With that being the case, I just make my way around until I do find someone worth the time. I had my fuckboy phase, and it definitely got me laid multiple times. I kinda just embraced the new dating and hookup culture in my generation. I really do crave an emotional connection with someone sometimes. It’s much better than the low effort hookups.

drakon6192 · 2022-02-24T00:17:38+00:00

That is what I don't understand, how there are so many guys out there that can't really do any real seduction, just doing these empty netflix and chill dates, can't even listen to a girl's body or hold a conversation. And how there are lots of girls who keep coming back to these types of guys. Is it just a scarcity thing or something else? Either ways, I'm not saying being a "nice guy" is better, it's probably worse. But being a stand up guy is the way to go both if you enjoy making someone else feel real good, and just as a decent human being.

DROP_TABLE_U5ers · 2022-02-24T02:20:33+00:00

Yeah I bet it does suck! I also hate free food and drinks

harmonic- · 2022-02-24T01:08:01+00:00

It's a shame this is gonna get buried on this sub because you nailed the dating experience for average women.

The statement "many women are dissatisfied with their dating life" in no way downplays the difficulties men face in dating. The fact that so many people automatically get defensive points to some deep misogyny and insecurity.

silkPJson · 2022-02-24T00:43:04+00:00

OP don’t listen to all the deniers in the comments, you hit the nail on the head. I don’t use online dating as I don’t think it’s worth it due to the problems you listed. It can be grim out for both sexes.

And I suppose this is Reddit so I guess this response by the Reddit boys is expected.

nCRedditor-21 · 2022-02-24T01:06:24+00:00

I promise you, women are making their own dating lives harder. They definitely have it far easier than men, to the point where it’s better to be the average woman - who just has to look pretty and not bring much to the table - versus being a man where not being above-average - winning the genetic lottery, filthy rich, fancy job title, flashy car, well-endowed - is insufficient, due to women being “financially independent” and “don’t have to settle”.

Snoo-62854 · 2022-02-23T23:56:14+00:00

I feel that it's too hard to understand women, they have a hard time understanding how they feel and expressing it more difficult. Guys seem to be straight forward most of the time. I just saw a girl dressed in pink in the gym at least 3 guys approached her. She seemed interested in interaction rather than workout. Her gym partner was more focused in workout. Anyways I mean if you have 3 options everyday, even if you consider 90% of guys are crap. Why would it be so difficult to find what you are looking for? Girls can't take rejection. I got a match on Hinge today she sent me hi, but I was really down and was not willing to take one more rejection, I didn't text her for a couple of hours. She is unmatched which is okay. I feel anyways she was going to reject me after 3 messages at most if that's her patience level. Too high expectations. It's like the trouble you get into if you have too many options. Not criticizing, just be patient you will get there. Be smart, know your boundaries, expectations, be careful and give a few guys you like some opportunity.

Silver-Variation8903 · 2022-02-23T22:30:21+00:00

Gonna go out on a limb here and say men have a much better choice than women..

recyclablebanthas · 2022-02-24T02:43:42+00:00

To add to what OP said here:

No one is having a great time dating.

Men are assumed to be the ones in the driver's seat as the ones expected to approach. But most of us graduate high school without the basic social skills needed to do this successfully. Society is not great at passing on effective social skills to men. Instead, we fumble about trying to figure it out ourselves.
Women are assumed to have a ton of choice because dudes come to them. But just as men aren't attracted to every woman they see, women aren't going to be interested in every man who steps up. A situation that's made worse by the fact that a lot of men aren't great at handling rejection. And just being realistic here: women generally face more of a physical threat from men than the other way around.

So, dating's a battlefield most people aren't really enjoying. And it doesn't help at all to refuse to see the other side as human and having their own problems.

If you've come to Reddit to complain about chads and how women have it easy, you're in the wrong sub. There's plenty men can learn to make shit easier for ourselves.

EDIT: The thread also had to be locked because things were starting to get a little out of hand with regard to non-constructive rhetoric and witch hunting.

DylanFiglewicz · 2022-02-24T02:07:07+00:00

Seriously this.

Title	[Opinion] Women aren't having a good time dating.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	659
Comments	76
Date	February 23, 2022 10:06 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sztg39/opinion_women_arent_having_a_good_time_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/opinion-women-arent-having-a-good-time-dating.1266048 https://theredarchive.com/post/1266048

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