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Alarming-Unit-7214 · 2022-01-30T02:17:01+00:00

the pro is that you took action and did what most guys are afraid to do.

unfortunately, she wasn't interested but that's fine

divorceded7in · 2022-01-30T03:18:20+00:00

Dude why so quick on personal information how about a high and some small talk and a smile...she don't know you from a killer..maybe next time not so direct ... easy into it..she goes to the same gym it's not like your not gonna see her again

Delicatestatesmen · 2022-01-30T02:42:19+00:00

Good job on taking the initiative, but I feel you were too direct try thinking in being the girls shoes. Exactly! You could have started your conversation like this:

“Hey you seem pretty cool me and a couple friends are going for drinks next weekend join us”

If she says yes ask for her number and go from there. Granted you had made small talk during your membership.

Equivalent_Speaker26 · 2022-01-30T03:39:55+00:00

You did really good.

One small pointer to pull her number: try to have things to invite her to (mountain hike with your friends Saturday afternoon, or a party at night). It's easier to get her number by saying "hey, you seem pretty cool, my friends are having this awesome 80's costume party on Friday, they're super fun, you should come if you're free" if she says yes, hand her your phone, and say "here give me your number"

Important: go to the party even if she doesn't come.

JunctaJuvantUC · 2022-01-30T01:53:44+00:00

She already had yours from signing up. It was only fair.

ComputerScienceGod · 2022-01-30T02:22:09+00:00

I wouldn't really approach people working at their jobs unless you've already developed some rapport. Better to ask her about herself and try at a later time instead of just taking a blind shot at a stranger. Now you might see her at the gym when you go and it'll be awkward.

itsthechamp2022 · 2022-01-30T02:33:16+00:00

You made a lot of mistakes but good for approaching

Calamity__Bane · 2022-01-30T05:19:44+00:00

Kudos to you for giving it a shot! Next time, approach a girl who isn't working and do more conversational groundwork before going for the number (you can get numbers without much groundwork, but you want solid leads unless you're just practicing).

Impressive_Sport_713 · 2022-01-30T04:26:38+00:00

Saying "hi" is the success. You did amazing there! But your conversation was just simping

gabriel497 · 2022-01-30T18:34:58+00:00

You should have built rapport first then ask for her number.

callmellac · 2022-01-30T20:26:47+00:00

You telegraphed too much interest, she had no challenged you were already into her, you could have said something like « that would be fun if we could continue this conversation another time » that’s how she gives you her number

KrakenBitesYourAss · 2022-01-30T07:11:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sugar1plum · 2022-01-30T07:11:45+00:00

"you don't have to " is giving her a cop.out. let the next one answer. By saying it's ok etc , it seems less confident etc. Better to just wink and smile and bid her adue .

Ecstatic-Flounder-48 · 2022-01-30T07:24:47+00:00

OP one of your main problems with this interaction is that you gave her a way out. If she doesn’t want to give you her phone number she will just say no. Deliberately giving her an out makes you look less confident in yourself.

If there is an awkward pause while she thinks about whether or not she’s gonna do it you could just hit her with a sly grin and say ‘time’s ticking on that offer’ or ‘I’m quite the gentleman when I want to be’ etc, you get the point.

Also don’t ask if they’re single. They’ll tell you if they’re not and it comes off too strong for the first interaction.

But overall way better than my first approach. Better than my first 50 tbh.

2022-01-30T22:07:36+00:00

you told her to say no

Vril_SA_PL · 2022-01-30T13:57:35+00:00

Women need to feel your confidence...
That you feel like you own the place
Like your the boss
Like your worth talking to
That they have to follow your rules

So your mistake in leading the conversation
You shot yourself in the foot
By not giving her a good enough reason to say Yes!
Which is a learning progress!
Which is great!
Cuz you now know where you are
In the game of play
Between men and women
The great sexual tension, the fun, the great game
between masculine and feminine energies

So...
Your mistake
Was a dual effort
Your emotions that you held within you during that time
And the language you used
You lacked the confidence
You lacked the desired traits that she wants
So now you just have to lay back
And don't look desperate
That you have the strength within you to be okay if she doesn't choose you
Cuz women never stop testing you
Even when you get together
They are relentless!
Cuz they always are seeking for our flaws!
Cuz they need to know if we are worth mating!
And I'm no expert
I'm fairly new into the game
But I know
I understand women so much better now
And I'm just giving you my honest feedback

So...
Inside yourself
You were nervous
And she felt that
So she in return was
Nervous in saying yes to you
Whether she likes you or not
You might have destroyed the chance just yet
Now you have to look like you don't care
That you are okay with her rejection
Cuz woman want to feel what we are feeling
So if they see us
Having a good time
By ourselves
They will feel our energy
And be naturally drawn to it

But your emotion is really good
Like I saw in one of the other comments
You are already ahead of the game
Cuz you are brave enough to try!
Even knowing you could fail
You know what you want!
Now it's just figuring out how to get it

Trzymaj Się (Polish for Stay Strong / Hold On)
As in keep the Faith that things will always work out for the better

DoomerToChad · 2022-01-30T09:17:42+00:00

You gotta transition from business to something personal before you ask for her number. Now every time you work out you're that guy she rejected.

earthwalker7 · 2022-01-30T09:49:14+00:00

I generally try to find common ground and then use that as a pretext for a further meeting. Such as “so cool to know someone else who likes S&M. Why don’t we exchange numbers so we can go spanking together sometime.” Or some other activity. Whatever.

cronasminate · 2022-01-30T10:48:30+00:00

You asked, she indirectly said no. Learn from it then move on to the next.

burncushlikewood · 2022-01-30T11:17:07+00:00

I remember my first approach as if it we yesterday. Cute girl got the number, try and be more confident when asking, almost as if she'll say yes no matter what. You should do some more approaches to help sharpen your game

almighty_nsa · 2022-01-30T11:25:40+00:00

The are you single thing was really not smooth and blunt. Try something a little different: if she says something weird or that shes constantly busy: “Whats your boyfriend say to that ?” She will tell you if she has one and it wont feel awkward for neither you nor her.

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-01-30T13:09:08+00:00

Don’t ask them their relationship status, just introduce yourself then ask for the number at the end of the convo

combatant007 · 2022-01-30T14:47:01+00:00

Good approach, but you asked her number in your second statement itself. You need to talk more and may be after few days you can ask her number.

Orange11a · 2022-01-30T17:36:39+00:00

Bro congrats for making a move on her but you really gotta be a bit more persuasive than that. I would of asked for her name, make some small talk and once she's smile and comfortable then I would of asked for her number with a clear intention in mind whether it's coffee or movies or whatever.

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-01-30T22:37:32+00:00

Here's what I think happened. She didn't lie about her status which is the easy out. She took a pause and didn't make an excuse so this was her thinking over the implications of the scenario, which could mean she is interested but it was awkward or it could mean she just wasn't sure how to nicely say no to a new customer.

I am going to illustrate this with a story of my own.

I was renting shop space from an older guy who regularly went to the Hooters after work so I started going there as well. Of course, she gets hit on by customers all the time and is in a position where she needs to be nice, just like your gym chick.

A couple weeks into me going there on a regular basis ( and having some rapport built) I tell the guy im renting from I'm gonna ask out the head bartender and he goes " there's no way that one is going out with you, try just about any of the other girls"

I ask her if she'd wanna go to lunch sometime ( knowing she works most evenings).

Her auto-response is " welllll I have a rule against dating anybody I meet from here"

I said "oh, that's interesting, I could think of half a dozen reasons off the top my head why you'd have that rule but I'd be interested in hearing your reasons"

She says " it would take a while to explain but I just don't do it"

I say "okay" and I go about chatting with my friend and eating some wings as normal.

For a minute or two she's looking down and shifting her eyes a bit (thinking) while she does her thing.

Then comes over to me and looks suspiciously and says " you're a pretty normal guy right?"

I say " Im not entirely sure but I think so in the way that you're referring to"

She takes my number and we end up having lunch.

The takeaway;

Establish some rapport first if possible in these scenarios. So in this case not just dryly getting signed up.

Instead of giving her an easy out, show understanding. When she said she was single you could have said " oh man I know you must get hit on a lot here but can I give you personally my number, I'd love to take you out for blank sometime"

And this is your avenue going forward. " Hey I know I sprang the whole number thing on you before and that probably happens a lot , hope it wasn't too awkward. Can I give you my number personally?....maybe we can do blank sometime?"

Godsidious2 · 2022-01-30T23:10:17+00:00

no one's putting you down you buy into what you believe.

2022-01-30T23:17:35+00:00

Did you chat her up at all before you said this?

Longjumping-Bother-4 · 2022-01-31T01:34:18+00:00

I have mixed feelings. I think it was brave of you to go for it. Being straightforward is always good and respected but from your post it seems you made her a bit uncomfortable which isn’t your fault necessary women just have to be careful rejecting guys because their are stalkers and creeps out there. Not to say you are but as mentioned by others most likely said; start a conversation if possible maybe about the location or even the new scream movie. A compliment is good too. I’m not good with approaching women myself but I know a good genuine compliment always makes me smile 😊

EscapeVelocity83 · 2022-01-31T01:40:53+00:00

She is lame as fuck

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	71
Comments	126
Date	January 30, 2022 1:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sfxod7/first_approach_how_did_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1267982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1267982

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