A truth that not all women admit is that they hate needy men.

This is why:

  • Needy men are manipulative.

Often they aren’t aware of it because their manipulative patterns are subconscious and seem normal to them. However, these patterns are not normal.

This makes it hard for a woman to build and sustain trust=she won’t feel comfortable with you=wont want and wont think about sex or a relationship with you.

  • She feels like taking care of a manchild.

This is why so much dating advice out there teaches men to be self-reliant, and to simply be in control of their emotional reactivity, to not be so consumed by emotions. It is so that men learn their girlfriends are not and should not be a mother replacement who do everything for their boyfriends.

  • She feels like walking on eggshells all the time.

This makes it hard to be honest and down to earth because a needy person will always interpret it the wrong way and either take it as a personal attack or as her losing interest/attraction.

Its also emotionally, physically, and psychologically draining to have to adjust what they want to say so that their explosive and needy boyfriend wont feel upset every time she is honest and upfront (which she is 99% of the time ideally).

This is what makes her lose attraction over time and seek out a 'bad boy‘.

This is how you stop being needy:

  • Drop your ego, meditate, and introspect to increase self-awareness.

And then see what comes up.

See if there is any childhood trauma that caused you to be needy in relationships and then let it go either with therapy or by getting a mentor/coach who managed to overcome neediness himself.

  • Improve your resilience.

Resilience is basically your ability to draw strength and power from your own mental and physical resources and to quickly bounce back from or adjust to setbacks, mistakes, and adversities.

You can improve it by overcoming adversity, facing your approach anxiety, and often leaving your comfort-zone.

  • Fill your own cup.

Needy people tend to believe in the narrative that there is someone out there, a soulmate who 'completes them'.

Its a romantic narrative but absolute trash in practice.

Because it tells you:

  1. You are not good enough without a girl who is wild about you or without a relationship, making you too dependent on her approval.
  2. Opportunities for sex and relationships are scarce (they are not. you can create them yourself).
  3. There is only one girl among billions of other girls who would date you.

So instead of believing in this bullshit, learn to fill your own cup.

Get joy, motivation, self-confidence, and purpose not solely from a girls approval and love, but from yourself and from doing meaningful things that help yourself and humanity in the long term.

Bonus tip:

To be non-needy does not mean to be a cold hearted and emotionless wreck.

It means to not make your entire well-being and happiness so dependent on the validation you get from dating women or men or from the relationship you have.

You can still express love and care about your girlfriend in compassionate ways, just don’t have an emotional breakdown when things don‘t go your way.