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[–]Kidcouger 555 points556 points557 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Man that takes Balls, matching on bumble and then asking her out face to face
Keep that same energy on the date!
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]MeteoraRed 48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't loose enthusiasm mate, great 1st move though ,make every meet entertaining and enjoyable !
[–]steiny4343 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations 🎉 Apparently, you are in the minority of men capable of doing so. Proud of you homie.
[–]crossupdp 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
LOL, OP saying thanks but I'm pretty sure this was sarcasm?
[–]Kidcouger 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was serious, Most guys would just message her on Bumble and probably not even talk face to face until they set up a time to hangout or something
[–]icecreamandpizzaguy 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Has to be
[–]LiteralVillain 144 points145 points146 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Congrats hope it goes well
[–][deleted] 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks man
[–]jetmirgola 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Keep us informed bro
[–][deleted] 139 points140 points141 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Well done, glad you did it in person despite the app match. Shows you got balls ⚽️
[–]Teldarion 58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The app is designed so only the girl can make the first move, so it's not like he had a choice :D
Still, way to go OP :)
[–][deleted] 45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks man, I was really bummed that she didn’t say anything when we matched. I couldn’t sleep for like a day thinking ab it so I decided to just go for it man. Felt great!
[–]BigNastyWoods 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd say the biggest flaw of bumble is the time limit. I know that I don't even check it everyday and I doubt most women do to. If you have a match they're just gone after that point.
[–]WhiteningMcClean 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I've felt it's best to not take anything that happens on dating apps too personally. I've even had my share of times where I forgot to respond to someone I was interested in.
[–]Ilovethaiicedtea 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tell her that!
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah right yeah, my bad aha, never actually used the newer apps, only been on pof and tinder before
[–]hegelcum 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
keep us updated!!
[+][deleted] -20 points-19 points-18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Still waiting for her to respond to the dm I sent her. After I got back from the gym I waited til like 8 to dm her on ig but I don’t think she’s been active. Regardless if she doesn’t read it I’ll just confront her in the gym
[–]Speedsloth123 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
U didn’t get her number...?
[–]lamarjeff 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
How did you approach her?
[–][deleted] 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
She was giving out free protien samples. We made small talk I can tell there was a bit of tension. So I just told her that I’ve been meaning to ask if you want to grab coffee with me sometime.
[–]sumilia 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
okay, but did you set a date and a time? because this sounds vague
[–]QuentinTarantulatino 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I’ve always stumbled a bit with this. Asking her out and locking down a time / date / place in one conversation can feel a little aggressive, like I’m trying to lock it down before she gets a chance to think about it. But I’ve also been in the position where I asked someone out, she said yes, we left the details for later, and then she’d curve me every time I tried to make specific plans.
[–]sumilia 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
"I'd love to take you for coffee. Are you busy tomorrow evening?" or "are you busy after working out today?"
Being specific is good. If you're vague she could have said yes as a "yeah sometime this century.. or not.. sure whatever"
[–]QuentinTarantulatino 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t wanna sound too harsh, because I also have trouble saying no to things. But “no means no” has to work both ways. It’s hard to ask out your crush, in person, to her face. And the only thing worse than getting rejected is an enthusiastic “Yeah, that sounds fun!” that you slowly realize over the next week and a half, two weeks actually meant “ew no.” If you mean no, then say no.
[–]sumilia 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't know how old you are, but "we should get together sometime" is adult speak for "I want to enthusiastically sound like I want to stay in touch but both of us know neither one of us will put in effort to make this happen" — I don't mean in the romantic sense, either. It's adult friendships in general (USA). Putting "sometime" at the end is weak sauce. It's like a nicety or formality. The only time my girlfriends and I get together is if someone reaches out with a very specific invite.
If you're brave enough to ask, then be brave enough to set a date. You can use gentle phrasing to do so, but do it. It'll also be an accurate way to gauging her true interest.
p.s. I appreciate that you as a man are wanting to be mindful of not being too aggressive. I think setting the date isn't too aggressive. More concerning is pressuring women for sex or to get them alone for sex.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask her if you're free this Saturday for instance and then ask her for coffee. After getting her number, tell her the time and place, or say I'll text you the details. It's really not that complicated.
[–]jgutierrez1994 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
BDE right here, bois! Big swingin' dik energy!
[–]guygfd6655 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Solar Opposites 🤔
[–]_Valeria__ 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I (37F) asked a very attractive man out at the gym last year before Covid, and I was super nervous about this since it was the first time I’ve ever asked a man out before. I wrote my number down which said basically said who I was (we had a brief interaction) and to text me if he’s single. I handed the note to the front desk folks while he went to go tan and got out of there. He texted me not long after and I was stoked. We chatted for a while, but things unfortunately took a turn for the perverted when he asked “so when you wanna come over and see this dick”? I said that I feel that we’re both looking for two different things and that I’m seeing a relationship. He said he wasn’t due to being busy with work, etc. I got a text from “him” later that night around 2 AM telling me to never contact him again to which I replied that I wasn’t planning on it. Fairly sure that was his girlfriend/wife. I never asked out a man again after that.
[–][deleted] 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s awful sorry to hear ab the bad experience. If a guy says something like that without even getting to know you he’s not worth a second of your time anyway.
[–]_Valeria__ 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it sucked, but I definitely dodged a bullet with that one. I abhor cheaters.
[–]Delicious-Bed2469 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
1 bad one isn't really a reason to quit. Happens to us guys all the time. You went right ending it there though.
[–]gr3nade 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow, that sucks. I would say all guys aren't like that and while that's true, I have no idea what proportion of guys are like vs which aren't.
Asking him out as a female took a LOT of courage. Props to you.
[–]False-Clerk-5073 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn, I got asked out often when I was in HS but never had the balls to go for it what a dweeb I was haha, now that I'm in college I really miss those opportunities. I was never into those relationship or fling stuffs but now that I was left heartbroken about a month ago I think I'm again left heartless.
[–]realhero83 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol. Don't give up after 1 bad experience. If we men did that the human race would have died out long ago. I did find your story funny. Hopefully you do now too
[–]MatingAdvice -5 points-4 points-3 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I (37F) asked a very attractive man said that I feel that we’re both looking for two different things and that I’m seeing a relationship
I (37F) asked a very attractive man
said that I feel that we’re both looking for two different things and that I’m seeing a relationship
That's fair but you have to be realistic, a man in his 30s-40s with options is not going into a relationship with a woman almost 40.
Sex is always fine, but a man that wants to create a family and a long term relationship is going to choose a much younger and more fertile partner (in her 20s).
Not sure what you were expecting here.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]_Valeria__ 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because he asked a crush out from the gym and so did I?
[–]Mr_lightning22[🍰] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good luck and this makes me realize why I should train at the gym instead of home
[–]crookedclassic 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like to break a mental sweat too
[–]FlyingPotatoelol 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
What's bumble?
[–]LakshayCORMAC 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dating app
[–]FlyingPotatoelol 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah
[–]FlyingPotatoelol 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh the space thing was a mistake, I was pretty tired. Also the question was already answered, so thanks.
[–]__00Throwaway00__ 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
https://lmgtfy.app/?q=Bumble
[–]L1ttl3Lun4 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
There's a bunch of cute guys at my gym, would low key love if one of them chatted to me and asked me out 😊
[–]JackTheKing 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I always thought it was taboo to hit on girls at the gym?
[–]LiamGatsby 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only taboo if you’re ugly
Jokes aside, I feel the same way. Every girl you speak to tells you something different but if you’re an attractive guy, I’d wager the girls who maybe didn’t want to be bothered wouldn’t mind. C’est la vie
[–]gr3nade 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sort of. I think it's good not to but I'm a risk averse guy. It comes down to risk tolerance at the end of the day. If you accept that she might say no and that it will be awkward in that case, you can roll the dice and ask. You can't predict how awkward it might be for her or if she will get offended or not.
Some girls will hate it because they don't like you but would be totally fine with being approached by a different guy she does like. Other girls might hate it because the gym is their me time and you just made it another place where she has to have a guard up against guys. Some girls might love it because they think you're cute. You just can't predict that well, atleast not without putting out some feelers.
The reason it's taboo is because of the don't shit where you eat principle. You will be here frequently and this might make things weird for both of you long term. A less direct approach might be better in this case. Say hi and make some smalltalk for a while to see if there is any interest. Then you can make a more informed decision on whether or not to make a move or just have a smalltalk gym buddy or just drop contact entirely. But at the end of the day, it comes down to whether or not you want to take on the risk and roll the dice.
[–]L1ttl3Lun4 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is. Usually women wanna be left alone. However, in some cases the woman are open to it (probably best after a workout at the lockers) it will be cool to build up some communication first.
I wouldn't suggest asking her out straight away, just building communication, talking about things in common, finding out if she's single etc. Then ask her out
[–]el_colimofla 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A year and a half, so I guess you just waited long enough to get jacked first
[–]TotalTravel 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The gym is a difficult place for me just like a beach. In those two I really feel insecure since I am not in the best shape/ actually not any good shape. I also feel like the competition is overwhelming in those two. Congratulations on the courage and your date!
[–]guygfd6655 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You stick out more when you ask them out because the others more than likely won’t and if the others “competition” sees you spitting game they’ll be proud for you and if you happen to see those girls again you can always strike up another conversation because you’re more familiar with them. Breaking the ice is hard and mostly everybody who’s got some was nervous ASF
[–]TotalTravel 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I actually do cold approaches in any other place but in the gym and on the beach I feel a lot less confident in my body so I really panic there...
[–]MrColfax 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A year and a half seeing each other at the gym. That's a long time. I can see someone for a few months then I'll never see them again, or I'll see someone for a bit then go months without seeing them then randomly see them again months later.
[–]Jhinn11 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Would suck if it DIDNT go well and now they must awkwardly see each other at gym every so often
[–]ferchocolate 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did the same with a girl at my local gym, been staring at her like for three weeks on Wednesday 27th I approached and told her I found her really attractive she said thanks but she's married even tough she said thanks for the compliment and was not awkward at all, felt great, no regrets at all, I encourage all to do this and when you take practice, man is an amazing feeling even when you get rejected. Better feeling than the "what if" Peace out fellas, glad to be part of this group
[–]TriiCop 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Update us on how it goes bro
[–]Alive-Doughnut2345 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well done and good luck. That takes guts
[–]Dreadhoof 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn, good job bro! Proud of you!
[–]denali_HD2020 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great to hear, but that demonstrates interest high interest. I would have been bold and invited out to dinner.
[–]senner10 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Excellent, ballsy, and DNGAF attitude to her not messaging first. Had a similar thing happen but didn't work out quite the same way. This chick goes to my gym (college age) and I had been eyeing her a few times but never approached. Finally, one day I was at the water fountain, and sure enough, when I turn around there she is. Didn't hesitate just said 'We have something in common"
Glad I made the approach, the outcome didn't go as planned (boyfriend), but honestly didn't care, the action itself is really where the confidence is grown.
[–]Freshfrugality 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good stuff , what state or province are you in. What’s your take on bumble. Tinder has not been that great for me the last while
[–]mar3217 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Congrats!! I asked my “gym crush” (now boyfriend) out and we dated for about a year, now we live together and have been in an exclusive relationship for 1.5 years :) good luck to you!
[–]Bunbosa 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ooh nice! Can you tell us how that went? How did you ask him? What did you say, what did he say? Etc
[–]mar3217 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
We were there at the same time everyday for over a year so I finally went up and said “I see you here everyday so I wanted to introduce myself” and he introduced himself. We slowly started to hang out in group settings and then got more serious. To this day, he talks about how surprising it was for a girl to make the first move at the gym ;)
mar3217 forgot to mention he had a girlfriend with two kids when she asked him out and was the affair partner. Now the kids hate her - she lives with the cheater - and ex hates her. So no happily after here. Funny how you can romanticize your beginning but leave out major details.
[–]JudoDan2020 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great risk to take. Congrats. I think it’s always great & refreshing to Females to be direct & confident. Enjoy your time!
[–]FaithInStrangers94 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How does one go about this if you’ve never matched on a dating app and you both workout with earphones in... I’ll have to try to intercept her in the car park I guess? And make it seem natural
What's your stats
[+][deleted] -20 points-19 points-18 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
And when it goes south after a few dates are you prepared to find a new gym?
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ll keep going to the same gym idc lmao. I understand I did shit where I eat but it went well.
[–]Kidcouger 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
More power to him if he keeps it moving and doesn't make a big deal, Earlier today I asked out the coffee shop cashier I've had a crush on for months...
We made small talk before so I just went for it, got rejected and I'm still prepared to hit the shop for my coffee and just act like nothing happened the last interaction. It shows you're the bigger person and it didn't phase you.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mature adults are able to handle a cessation of dating in a civil manner. What a concept
[–]181cm -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've read this same story before... Deja vu.
[–]Iamovert -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good for you man! That was 10000% a sign, she just felt if you didn’t respond ( if she messaged you first obviously) then I’m sure she didn’t want to be rejected
[+][deleted] -28 points-27 points-26 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Don't ask women out at the gym!! You haven't learned anything being a lurker.
[–][deleted] 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She said yes... she works there as well
[–]beach_samurai_ 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why not? Srs
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Is12345aweakpassword 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Proud of you my man, I didn’t have balls like that until it was too late
[–]ElSancho0093 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You could work out together! Doing an activity takes the pressure off the conversation cus youre both focused on the activity. Going to the gym? Endorphins! Its a win-win
[–]BigDaftBastard8 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude!, Good for you!
[–]Potential-Target-442 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hello I'm down here for a hookup
[–]THEmandingoBoy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hell yeah dude, that was EXACTLY the move. 👌🏻
[–]Keibuscus21 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Legend! 🙌🏻 Way to go dude!
[–]Jaslyn0 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT
Hahahaha really happy for you man! Tell us what happened on your date later
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's cool she's into the gym. So she's in shape. A lot of people prefer fried chicken to carrots and ranch dressing
[–]KatherineAshleyL06 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Me🥺😆
Seriously? Have you tried eating jello, rice cakes, and other low calorie food to lose weight?
she matched with me on bumble
it only took 2 years of waiting and a rare bumble match
so if you never had a bumble match you'd still be eyeing her for another year?
[–]kinkybillionaire 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Letsssss gooooo! Congrats OP
Letsssss gooooo! Congrats OP 🥳
[–]Content-Breath 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My man
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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]KatherineAshleyL06 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]kinkybillionaire 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kinkybillionaire 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Content-Breath 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link