Deleted Tinder a while back.. much happier now!

thetahill · 2018-09-05T13:55:59+00:00

It's funny you mention this because I realized the same thing. Tinder made me lazy, and I also realized that when you put in the effort to swipe, match, message, etc (and I would often pay for boosts because otherwise the quality of women was lower), it was easier just to talk to a few in person. In fact I would say that if I broke down how my time is used, that if I talk to a few even randomly that I pre-selected as quality, it would be a far better use of 20 minutes doing a cold approach than it would to spend that 20 minutes on Tinder.

I think online dating can be good, and I got a lot of dates and some physical stuff. But, ultimately I realized the best women just aren't on there. And what I mean is the women who are pretty and emotionally stable. One day I did an experiment near my gym, which was filled with fit and successful women. I set my Tinder down to a a mile and swiped. Not one woman at the gym came up.

Virtually every woman IRL I'd actually commit to, who tried Tinder, did so once, hated it, and got off in a day or two and met someone a more traditional way. Pretty and emotionally stable women have guys practically competing for them, so we have to remember that Tinder selects for women who need Tinder. I have found that the best looking ones on Tinder aren't even serious users of the app; they are there for time wasting or to get instagram followers.

I think it's part of an overall strategy, but I have become less and less excited about it.

bernhardus · 2018-09-05T12:53:38+00:00

So true man. I quit Tinder about a week ago and the results from actually going out (e.g. daygame) are so so much better. Of course it takes more to do it, but not only you get to know way more girls. You learn how to handle social pressure and much more.

nasty_nater · 2018-09-05T13:39:00+00:00

I'm always amazed at people that bash an app that has the potential to get you laid while also giving you experience with providing plenty of dates. There's nothing wrong with meeting women off of online dating, just also keep up with meeting women in the real world along side it. It's not an either or situation.

XDarkstarX1138 · 2018-09-05T14:34:14+00:00

I would tend to agree and considering doing the same after I've been using it for the past month now. For me, I've gotten some matches and speaking with a few girls at once. It just gets discouraging because it seems most of the conversations are one sided and I'm always putting in more effort. Previous times I've spoke to girls on the app lead nowhere when I try to steer things towards a date and at the end of the day I feel a little burnt out. It works for some but meeting in person always looks more genuine.

2018-09-05T14:47:04+00:00

I quit tinder and just focus on cold approaching. Life is better than way!

onelunchman96 · 2018-09-05T18:27:07+00:00

At least you got matches with girls and got to go on dates. I rarely ever got a match but when I did the girl was a bot. I got rid of it because I wasn't getting any girls with that blasted app.

Ilovethaiicedtea · 2018-09-05T15:00:32+00:00

I’m refusing to get myself involved in Tinder just to challenge myself. Nothing wrong with people who use the app. I’m just not a social person and I want to break that pattern in my life. I don’t have any friends that are girls and iv only ever been in one relationship with one. I want to be able to learn to go out and approach girls, not just for sex, but for interaction and to make friends. I don’t drink so I don’t think bars would work. I do workout but the girls at the gym look too focused. I just need some advice as well. I’m also 22 years old.

Mr_A7 · 2018-09-05T17:06:30+00:00

Yeah I completely agree with you and can relate to you. I deleted tinder a while ago as well because I didn’t wanna be the guy that was only dependent on getting girls through an application. It was either I get it in real life or nothing at all and I’ve dated/hooked up with many good looking girls, but I was just being lazy and tinder complemented that laziness. I don’t want any easy way out.

This also was good because it made me enjoy conversation with women face to face.

I also understand the whatever happens happens. My happiness is not based on having girls in my life so it’s not a huge impact towards me, but it surely is nice to have them around and surely even better to get them in the real world. Although, I believe a balance of both is best; improving yourself and meeting women. After all, we do need to mate.

WhereTruthLies · 2018-09-05T17:50:17+00:00

I've been relying on tinder for a while now and the past week I've started doing cold approaches instead. Met a girl at a bus stop yesterday and ended up fucking her then cuddling while watching american horror story before class. Fucking her about 15 minutes after we met was a really satisfying feeling. Before that I had only one other attempt at a cold approach so I guess I got lucky, crazy how much your day can change just by talking to the people around you though.

I was much happier with myself from the cold approach pickup than a tinder one as, like you said, it feels really artificial. I've cut back on my tinder activity but still using it as a supplement to day game, just less frequently and being more picky. Plus I have 1 fwb, 1 nsa, and 1 date lined up with different women so I'm in no shortage as is.

aiyy · 2018-09-05T18:09:37+00:00

I loved Tinder. Still do, although I have a girlfriend now. Went on countless dates, some girls sucked but some were great. Made some friends, new experiences, just pure fun. Sure you yourself felt more introverted because of it, but that wouldn't be the apps fault.

aajiro · 2018-09-05T22:57:47+00:00

I have a legitimate question. does this mean most of you just swipe right to everyone, even the women you don’t like?

I barely have any luck in Tinder but I know I only swipe right on a handful a day; is this not what most people do?

2018-09-05T15:53:44+00:00

Same man. I'm just living each moment trying to see if I can't make it tell me where to go.

2018-09-05T19:17:31+00:00

All Tinder made me do is follow Snapchats and Instagrams only to DM and not even get a reply back. Unfollowed so many damn people

I swear I download and delete tinder every 3 days and honestly I think I’m done for good lol not attractive enough for that app

jerema · 2018-09-05T19:21:55+00:00

I've arrived at the same conclusion

2018-09-05T20:08:41+00:00

I did this for 4 years and haven't been on a date since. Good luck though.

2018-09-05T22:40:11+00:00

You got it all wrong. You use TINDER while you’re at a bar or a club. The drunk women around you want to fuck too you know lol

2018-09-05T14:19:04+00:00

I've never downloaded a dating app before nor gone on an online date, but I don't knock on those that do. I'm 27 and most the people I know do the apps and some have even met their wife or fiancée. It can work, and for getting laid I'm sure it's a great tool. I'm just not wanting to go through all that process, I would rather naturally meet them. My prospects as a result are MUCH lower and obviously the rejection rate is higher but in the end I think it's the way it should be. I don't want to fuck around much anymore anyways, so that's probably why I'm not high on the apps

william_103ec · 2018-09-05T14:58:05+00:00

And how do you plan to meet girls from now? Scenarios? Thoughts? I’ve been thinking about what you’re doing... but still I can’t decide how I’m going to meet people (or girls, in my case)

Luffydude · 2018-09-05T18:23:38+00:00

Meh tinder is still pretty good if you learn how to optimize it

I will be making a video on how to get the best value time per results soon but basically you want to just spend a few mins swiping per day and then copy paste/automate all your tinder texting to funnel them into your social media

2018-09-05T19:05:42+00:00

As it's been said before, tinder should be a supplement for your own dating life, behind social circle and IRL interactions

AnimatedPie · 2018-09-05T20:53:16+00:00

I just could never get into tinder or other dating apps. I just always felt like there was no fun in swiping for a couple minutes a day even if I got matches. I’d rather meet and amazing girl through a face to face interaction than through an app anyways. Good for you though. I’m glad you’re happy

A_solo_tripper · 2018-09-06T01:46:53+00:00

Swiping trough dozens of faces and bodies and not getting matches on the ones I actually liked made me more and more unhappy.

This is the problem. Online and offline are two separate worlds. Your expectations were too high for online dating. You should be the same cool person if you match with 20 girls or zero girls.

Why would I take the effort to go out and talk to women, when I can swipe 5 minutes a day and find one on the app?

This statement implies that you had some success on the app.

The method and probability of meeting women online vs offline vary. They are two separate worlds. Keyboard jockeys hit on hot women online ALL THE TIME. Spitting some tight game online. Blowing their heads up. Turning 6's into 10's. But that same woman, and keyboard jockey, will act much different offline. Get what you can get online AND offline. Get your expectations down so you don't get disappointed or overly excited with the results. This goes for online and offline.

The same women you talk to at the grocery store are the same women at the clubs are the same women online.

blackeyedfisher · 2018-09-06T06:46:55+00:00

i'm still thinking about starting. lol.

domoisbongo · 2018-09-06T10:51:00+00:00

Congratulations! I’m the same, I’m at a point in my life at the moment where I’m completely indifferent to tinder and it’s such a great place to be. I became too fixated on it for a while and became obsessed with the numbers and I unfortunately let it get to my self esteem and sub conscious. It’s incredibly toxic, unrealistic, superficial and mostly a waste of time and effort. It’s just good for the novelty but that wears off. I’m so much happier without it.

2018-09-05T14:42:37+00:00

I deleted it too. I got a decent amount of dates off it and matched with the types of women I’d normally ask out, but most of the time it lead nowhere. Occasionally it felt like women were trying to hustle a couple of free drinks out of me which just felt awkward. Especially cause I wouldn’t buy them shit.

Just sticking to working game at school for now. My social circle here is seriously lacking though and I don’t have much in common with anyone here at all (lots of femme dudes, “nu male” and “soy boy “ types and I’m a traditionally masc dude and a non traditional older undergrad studen .. these guys just seem like they can’t hang).

Going out to bars is kind of tough here cause it seems like every chick is with a closed off group of friends. Haven’t found one of those bars where people just get drunk and dance with eachother yet which is my type of venue for night game.

I’m still embarrassingly a huge pussy when it comes to day game even at school I just can’t do it. Even when I get IOIs and smiles from girls idk what the fuck is wrong with me.

2018-09-05T15:17:06+00:00

Tinder was great to get me more experience/sex but most of the time, it just felt stupid. Part of it was because I was just not really analyzing what I did wrong and only having 3 dates up to the "I'm not feeling a connection" text. I also just noticed better connections when I met women organically.

I'm in a relationship with someone I met on Hinge now though, but that was when I figured out a few things and it just worked out.

Title	Deleted Tinder a while back.. much happier now!
Author	giggity23
Upvotes	282
Comments	53
Date	September 5, 2018 12:08 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9d5vku/deleted_tinder_a_while_back_much_happier_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-tinder-a-while-back-much-happier-now.1452827 https://theredarchive.com/post/1452827

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