Don’t be a “Justin Case”

BasicBig7542 · 2021-04-24T00:24:10+00:00

I prefer to be a "Justin Time".

firrenzi · 2021-04-24T02:24:40+00:00

Walk. Walk away like a gangster. Cut all contact and all ties. Don’t be an average frustrated chump. Own your shit and walk. Sort your shit out, build confidence, meditate, get your life together. You’re worth more than being fucked around by people who don’t value you

HandsumSquidwerd · 2021-04-23T21:07:05+00:00

You made this post purely for that pun, didn't you lol, nice

sumilia · 2021-04-24T01:40:34+00:00

This type of pain may be alleviated if people are willing to have frank, direct discussions.

Unfortunately, it's common to have an imbalance in how much people like each other. Choosing one another 100% is rare, but awesome when it does happen. You have to meet a lot of people, go through the process of getting to know them, and eliminate those who don't fit what you're looking for, just like they should eliminate if you're not the right fit for them.

Someone who is choosing you right off the bat may not be a high quality person either, because they haven't taken the time to really get to know you. They're idealizing you and filling in the blanks. So be wary of their lovebombing as well. Because as soon as you make a mistake that doesn't line up with their idea of you, things get really bad and the relationship is short-lived.

Of course, steer clear of anyone who is demanding your attention without allowing the relationship to move forward in the logical and chronological steps that relationships are supposed to move forward.

150420throwaway · 2021-04-23T22:22:00+00:00

Aka orbiter, just there for the attention. It’s a really shitty thing to do imo

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-04-23T16:55:22+00:00

Never chase anyone lol. You like a girl, you hit on a her, if she’s not responsive or plays games keep it moving.

You should always be talking to multiple girls anyway

2021-04-24T05:48:21+00:00

Been there, done that.

My advice to everyone else: don't!

sumilia · 2021-04-24T00:26:18+00:00

It happened to me.

Don't be that guy.

oakprice · 2021-04-24T04:13:24+00:00

RIP to all the Justin’s reading this

TeoMateo_o · 2021-04-24T00:49:05+00:00

Woww! That describes me :"v

rollredroll · 2021-04-24T03:17:46+00:00

Also called “being on the hook”

TheLivingVoid · 2021-04-24T03:39:54+00:00

Thanks 😊

davidarkness · 2021-04-24T07:09:45+00:00

Lmao, if there isn't mutual interest I'm out.

DecemberToDismember · 2021-04-24T09:14:51+00:00

Been there. Took getting fucked over big time to get me off that hook, but I finally did it and it was the wake up call I needed to have a little more self-respect.

HandsumSquidwerd · 2021-04-27T16:17:29+00:00

I agree that being a friend under the guise of waiting for your chance is bad, but believe it or not girls do send mixed messages. To many guys, especially more inexperienced it’s not so obvious. I can speak from experience.

I met one girl at a bar in university, got her number and went on a date with her the very next week. I was clear from the start that I was interested in dating, she said she was interested too. We hung out a couple more times, but at a certain point she got more distant and I noticed she was talking to her ex on Facebook. I asked her if she was still interested or not, just so I wouldn’t waste my time, and she gaslit me for “putting pressure” on her, but didn’t give me a straight answer. I apologized, but didn’t hear from her for a while, and when I had pretty much moved on she got in touch with me again, spoke cordially with me for a while then just turned plain nasty again. No idea what her intent with me was, but she knew I wasn’t after friendship nor was I pretending to be her friend.

Another story that happened to a close friend of mine, he met a girl on a dating app, and they kind of became friends since they were both going through rocky breakups at the time. After a while he eventually told her that he’d grown to like her, but she said she only wanted to be friends. That same day a friend was driving them home (we were all hanging out that day) and she started randomly holding his hand in the back of the car. He asked her what that was all about, then she replied “oh I thought you were scared”. He told her he needed some space, then in the subsequent weeks she started getting mad at him whenever he would be hanging out with other girls.

Point being that these situations where mixed messages are being sent do happen. I’ve learned from these experiences that “anything short of an explicit hell yeah is a no”. A huge part of the problem is many guys are unaware of how to recognize a “hell yeah” or mixed messages due to young age or inexperience.

PretendRoof · 2021-04-24T15:31:18+00:00

I like the Justin Case parable, but the conclusion is wrong, OP. I fall hard for women. I mean very hard. Damn. But did this ever cause a problem for me? Nah. After we start circling each other, I give it a week or two and then I have a very direct discussion with her about whether we should proceed further, namely, I ask them out. I haven't been a womanizer ever, but out of 5 women I chased, only 1 turned out to be a 'oh, looks like I misinterpreted your signals, alrighty then'.

This is where the Justin Cases fail. Instead of being forthcoming, they are hoping that somehow the relationship will just 'happen'.

Maybe the Justin Cases are afraid of rejection? Like, gravely afraid of it? I can't see this being an issue any other way. Why would you 'orbit' (as OP wrote) a person without asking them out? Is there anything wrong with that? Maybe I am too old fashioned.

Sue__Me__Then · 2021-04-23T19:06:43+00:00

I think the term you're looking for is "orbiter." Please don't make new terms for vocabulary that already exists; it can make it harder for newcomers to find resources.

Edit: I see that OP has edited his post to include the common term. Much appreciated.

cyber_gypsy14 · 2021-04-24T04:24:10+00:00

Based 💯

Mcgregor_0304 · 2021-04-24T07:37:28+00:00

Damn. I'm in this exact situation rn. The girl has a bf but she's "unhappy" & she says that she finds happiness within me.

Your post is a message for me to tell her to kindly fuck off haha

TheGreeklad · 2021-04-24T01:25:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

heretolearn20 · 2021-04-24T06:33:39+00:00

What's the solution to Justin Case?? If anyone can tell????

nalinpuri · 2021-04-24T07:56:48+00:00

I prefer to be Justin Dick

Astroxtl · 2021-04-24T09:51:56+00:00

90 percent of problems with meeting and dealing with women can be avoided if you filter very early in the interactions... we all have to learn this lesson the hard way . That why they always say if your not having “bedroom fun” by the 3rd date move on..this way your not wasting time or money

Edit: you shouldn’t be chasing anyways, all you need to know from women are you in or out .

alluringapple · 2021-04-24T10:04:07+00:00

I just received a friend request on Facebook for a Justin Case. I messaged and asked this person if I knew them but they never responded so I never accepted the friend request. I am in a relationship and my partner is an amazing man. Sure we have our differences but I don’t believe he would feel as if he’s “Justin Case.”

Maybe it’s someone else I’ve possibly made feel as if they are “Justin Case?” Maybe it’s someone trying to warn me that he’s got a “Justin Case?”

Oh the possibilities are endless and the anticipation is killing me! 😅

afistfulofyen · 2021-04-24T23:12:45+00:00

Enh...nah. Being an orbiter is super gross and manipulative. if you're circling a gal because you're waiting for your chance, then you're being gross and manipulative, while presenting yourself as her friend.

And she will, gosh, treat you like her friend, because gosh, that's how you're presenting yourself.

If you're attracted to her, tell her and then walk tf away. You should not be offering the guise and behavior of friendship when that is not what you want.

"Throwing you a bone" by what, actually treating you like the friend you make yourself out to be? Go no contact if she's not flirting with you. Instead of waiting quietly and then blaming her for not suddenly realizing what a catch you are.

You were never a Justin Case, you were a friend. And you were a friend because you made yourself available as one and acted like one. Don't be that guy. Make your intentions clear and then leave.

theotherversionofu · 2021-04-30T12:07:28+00:00

Why is it ok for girls to leave guys on the hook but not the other way around?

Title	Don’t be a “Justin Case”
Author	HandsumSquidwerd
Upvotes	584
Comments	87
Date	April 23, 2021 4:35 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mwzb0k/dont_be_a_justin_case/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dont-be-a-justin-case.1285673 https://theredarchive.com/post/1285673

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