For those just working on themselves, make sure you still spend a bit of time working on game.

Bakoe_ · 2019-09-15T10:47:11+00:00

Examples of working on myself that have helped me are getting a weekend job working in a bar on friday night, this has skyrocketed my confidence, conversational skills and has led me to meet some awesome people and great sex. The second one was working out which has literally changed my whole life, it turned me from a deadbeat loser to someone who focuses so much on becoming the best version of himself and destroyed my anxiety, so did the bar job.

JKirkN · 2019-09-15T11:22:41+00:00

I'm not with "work on your garden first and then butterflies will come" anymore. If you are on ease with yourself, taking care of you look and have social skills, then nothing gonna stop you from attracting the girls. My uncle used to told me about one of his old friends, who was top notch with women, despite of his failure in college and professional life. Also another example is Willy Beck, who's a PUA - not buying into that shit so much - but his story is really inspirational. He used to live on the street and bang girls at the same time.

Working on yourself is up to you. Building an awesome life must not be for the chicks, but for yourself, your vision and what you wanna get out of life. To be honest, the quality of women and people you attract will change if you have an awesome life for sure, but if your agenda of getting that life to attract those classy people, then you are paradoxically needy and not confident from the inside.

demiurgoxy · 2019-09-15T10:12:17+00:00

Work on yourself is a very vague and inefficient advice I would say Those nerds with a lot of intellectual knowledge work a lot on themselves

As you said, you need to work on social skills, specific subset of skills that help you to get laid and build relationships

sniping_koty · 2019-09-15T10:34:39+00:00

Just read the title and it reminded me of the phrase, "Good things come to those who wait." Where it might be true, you need to initiate the steps to further yourself, even if it's just a little bit. Waiting gets you nowhere but where you're at.

SeveralTourist · 2019-09-15T16:14:14+00:00

Agreed. It's like wanting to be good at playing basketball: going to the gym, working on your flexibility, going out running to improve your cardio, working on your reflexes, etc, all of that is great and improves your athleticism, but you also gotta put yourself on the basketball court and learn how to handle a basketball, how to shoot, how to get around a defender, etc. You can't learn that in the gym.

Same with game. You can get a great job, have great hobbies, have awesome friends, but if you have no idea how to talk to a woman, you can end up with poor results for years. There are guys out there like this - great jobs, great friends, great hobbies, but women are just not interested in them because they've never learned how to interact in a man-to-woman way.

Truth is, most newbies are just terrified of talking to women, man-to-woman. They're looking for and will take any rationalization on why "going over to that woman and starting a conversation" is the wrong thing to do. When someone comes along and tells them to just love themselves and go to the gym and get a new haircut, they do that instead (or don't do anything at all). And sure loving yourself and going to the gym and getting a new haircut are good things, but they aren't THE thing. It's avoidance based on fear, like cleaning your desk instead of working on your homework when in high school.

YeetroyJenkins · 2019-09-15T16:33:37+00:00

If "working on yourself" is such an important step to meeting girls, then why can some broke 18 year old kid who works at Target be able to meet girls easily, while a college educated 32 year old man with a good job and his own place struggle to even get a date?

byERL · 2019-09-15T12:51:03+00:00

I’d be interested in the long post you were thinking of posting with your example! You’re clearly self aware and take accountability, so it won’t come across as nice guy-ish or humble bragg-ish IMO.

smoothmax · 2019-09-15T14:12:54+00:00

I have always felt that while taking steps every day to improve myself, I'm allowed to try to step up my game every day as well.

Not that I went out and did dedicated gaming or approach sessions, but with the women already in my life I would try to improve eye contact, listen better, tease, allow silences to happen, try casual kino with guys and girls etc. Basically whenever I learned a new tip I would try it out immediately.

TomissJesserfon · 2019-09-15T15:56:48+00:00

I have, in the past, kind of used this as a half assed way to avoid women. This last year has been really hard and I didn't need the stress and blah blah blah.

Well, I've done my leg work in almost every department but the social one and am finding myself at a severe disadvantage. I'm now in a new state with one friend, no job, and all these great habits but no one to notice but my cat 😂 so yeah, don't just ignore women because you're working on yourself... Actually when did those even become separate things? Social skills are definitely a form of self improvement.

cliff_lord · 2019-09-16T01:50:21+00:00

The second paragraph was golden, all while being the humblest brag

basschaser28 · 2019-09-15T14:11:06+00:00

I work weekends at a bowling alley entertainment center with bar and pool tables and arcade. I talk to everyone and due to regulars ; gained a huge circle of Male and female friends. And have had several one night stands. I'm 56 divorced after 35 years and loving it

2019-09-15T15:35:56+00:00

While I work on myself the way I work on game is to talk with and ask out 5 new girls a day and then go out to the clubs to socialize, talk with women 3 nights per week at the club. At first it kinda sucked because I was so scared to talk to a pretty girl but now it spices up my day to chat with pretty girls and I have generally good interactions.

teki_kenpachi · 2019-09-15T16:59:39+00:00

I understand you point totally, for me working on myself currently means building my self esteem back up after a rough break up.

So working on hobbies, my healthy, hitting the gym, self help, working on depression and generally get myself feeling more confident, then I'll be much more likely to cultivate friends and potential girlfriends.

When your in a mental state if not feeling good enough, going into making friends or whatever isn't going to work because your energy is all fucked up.

I think it all depends where the person is in their life at the time.

Boltimore · 2019-09-15T21:02:35+00:00

How do you work on game?

Boltimore · 2019-09-15T21:03:01+00:00

How do you work on your game?

EsportsGuy11 · 2019-09-16T14:13:48+00:00

Yup totally agree. This is why I kind of hate the saying/advice of “oh you’ll find her when you stop trying to find her” or “she’ll come when you least expect it”. Like I get it, I need to work on myself but when she does come you’re still going to need to know how to talk to her.

DatingCoach111 · 2019-09-15T20:55:09+00:00

Agreed. You can improve yourself until you’re swimming in liquid gold, but women aren’t go getters. Women don’t initiate conversations. Women don’t lead interactions. Those things fall on you.

NonJuanDon · 2019-09-15T21:02:00+00:00

Sound advice. As a guy with social anxiety, I'm starting with talking to cashiers, bartender, servers, people at the gym and the occasional stranger. Surprising the amount of obvious interest I get just from this little change, coupled with hitting the gym and lifting hard 5 days a week.

Just need to grow some balls to act on the interest now

AsurasPath23 · 2019-09-15T11:13:58+00:00

Work on yourself by finding interests. Get hobbies, learn new things, go gym etc. Go to networking events and talk. Working on your game is dumb in my view. Randomly picking up girls on the street would barely work at all to be honest. Learn to invest in yourself, everything else will follow afterwards.

the_anonymous_ginger · 2019-09-15T14:58:39+00:00

Coming from a lesbian....just dont once you have over thought your game and think you are this amazing guy or what ever...just because you do something nice for a girl doesnt not mean she owes you ANYTHING.

SithLordJediMaster · 2019-09-15T15:07:14+00:00

I haven't games in over a year. In fact, I sold most of my games.

I have other things going on. Priorities.

Title	For those just working on themselves, make sure you still spend a bit of time working on game.
Author	Hiddenmount
Upvotes	449
Comments	77
Date	September 15, 2019 8:40 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d4hy6w/for_those_just_working_on_themselves_make_sure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/for-those-just-working-on-themselves-make-sure-you.1478673 https://theredarchive.com/post/1478673

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