So I am a woman (verified on gwcurvy - please no trolling, I celebrate my curves and am aware that I am not going to be on the top of every mans 'hotness scale', and that is not my expectation) I've been on the female end of 'the game' for over 5 years now. So here are some tips about what works on me in a pickup situation -club, house party etc.

  • Confidence, and acceptance of your looks: Every girl has a 'type' of some sorts, for me I am a little typically shallow- if you look like Eric Northman from True Blood, all you have to do is look like you are comfortable in your skin and bam, say hello and you're in, but I have a friend who adores chubbier men with beards and large noses and doesn't like the tall 'Norse god' type at all. It's not about looking a certain way, but embracing who you are and being confident with your appearance no matter what it may be, because females don't just like one sort of look, but we do all like someone who is cool with what they were born with and tries to be the best version of themselves, not something they aren't, or upset about who they are.

  • Don't let us intimidate you: if we have the 'bitchface' on, it may mean we are just concentrating on how many cocktails we can buy with $50, or maybe our friend is running late, or our feet hurt, or maybe we are also shy and don't know how to approach YOU! Regardless of how scary we look the worst that can happen is we tell you to 'fuck off', in that case you have worked out that we might be a bitch anyway. I am hardly ever approached in clubs, and when I am the guy seems slightly scared of me and I feel embarrassed. I think most of my casual encounters involved me approaching the guy and starting conversation, I have asked people if it's because I don't look approachable or perhaps I'm just fugly, but most of the time the response is that they just were too lazy or thought I wouldn't respond nicely. I do wear a good bitchface though.

  • The approach : honestly the best pickup lines are the ones that aren't , so simple and natural, 'hello' is the best icebreaker! Then asking what they've been up to this weekend, what they think of the music, if they have an awesome dress on- tell them! It probably cost a shitload! And it's all about not being sleazy or needy, the worst approach are involved with groping or touching straight away, or when you ask permission to talk to me- it makes you seem very very insecure.

  • The wingman: ok, so wingmen work, but it has to be very very subtle, because this strategy has been around for ages, and I can spot a try hard or desperate pick up attempt as soon as a glaringly obvious wingman swoops in. Tips for wingmen: at least try to make it look like you might be interested in my conversation, regardless if you are ultimately palming me off to your friend, otherwise I work out pretty quickly that you are playing the 'game'.

  • Be able to dance, even if you are shit at dancing, I don't care, I'm too worried about how I am looking while I dance to care about how well you move, if you can follow a beat and pay me attention while I strut my stuff, that's all you need to do, but please, no excessive sexy grinding or groping, keep it classy gents!

  • The close: I have so often had to do this myself because the guy was taking far too long! But I feel like it means you aren't interested - even if later I find out you were! If we are getting along and I stick around talking with you and dancing with you, it's safe to say I would happily take your number or give you mine, if I didn't want it I would have kept the conversation awkward and would not have accepted a dance. So just say something like "hey you seem like a pretty cool chick, can I have your number?". Sure I may not always want to bang you, but I clearly enjoyed talking to you, even if we just become friends you've gained a wingman and access to all my hot friends!

  • The follow up: the three day rule is bullshit! The next afternoon is the best timing, I've gotten over my hangover and I might be thinking about the cool guy I met last night wondering if he will actually txt me, but leave it too long and I'm thinking about the other guy I met the weekend before and cave and txt him instead. But don't get all sweet or gushy, no x's or smileys- save that for us to use on you.

  • Sex: ok so if I want to have sex with someone I'll know pretty soon, the trick is to make the girl feel like there is no pressure, that you could leave it or take it, it makes her think, "oh this guy isn't desperate for sex, he isn't pushing for it, maybe it's fine to sleep with him on the first night, since he doesn't seem like a pushy asshole".

  • How to not hurt us: be honest, because not all girls want a relationship, we might also want hookups and casual fuck buddies, but don't play it as something it isn't, so do mention things like you don't want a relationship, you are only interested in friends with possible sex but don't want commitment. But this also means you can't act like you do want more, do no ultra cuddly behaviors, don't longingly stare at us in the eyes, don't take us on proper dates or hang out for too long before or after sex, keep it casual and non committal, so don't make plans a week in advance or make suggestions about how frequently we can hookup. Don't talk about your ex and always be busy, be very busy, no time for a girlfriend or for emotional attachments. Also don't reply to our txts straight away and don't talk to us over the phone. Keep your distance but don't be a dick. If we do get hurt, that's the game, but you can avoid blame if you can say you've been upfront from the beginning an we knew what we were getting into.

TL:DR confidence, don't try so hard, employ subtle wingmen, dance even if you can't, ask us for our number, txt the next night or in 2 days max, don't be desperate for us to like you, be ok with he idea of only being friends, don't pressure us to sleep with you, BE HONEST about your intentions to stay casual and act appropriately. Oh and one more- compliment us occasionally for gods sake- even something as simple as "I like your haircut" or "that is a really sexy dress".

Play the game without being an obvious player.