How do I stop caring?

Coolguy1699 · 2025-12-28T21:55:42+00:00

Honestly, it just comes with time. Someday you’ll wake up and realise that nobody gives a f*ck about you.

Relevant_Occasion_33 · 2025-12-28T21:59:12+00:00

Pretty much the only way is after talking to a bunch of girls and getting more experience. You’ll eventually realize that you have your own preferences rather than being attracted to every girl available.

OpinionThink481 · 2025-12-28T22:07:39+00:00

You care because you are acting like this is something serious, instead of what it is, just a game.

I don't care if i lose in a video game and yet i still play. It just doesn't matter, sure i'd rather win when i play a video game, but if i lose it's not gonna give me a personal crisis or a depression.

So what your friends are actually saying is "Dude, it's not that serious if a woman wants to sleep with you or not, stop acting like it's a battle for your worth, or a life or death situation".

Why do they say this? Because they don't base their self-worth on the results they get with women. If a woman wants to fuck cool, if not also cool, onto the next one.

You care only when you are not just trying to get laid, but when you treat "getting laid" as proof that you are worth something and "not getting laid" as proof that you are worth nothing. Your friends don't do that, and that's what they mean by "stop caring".

nerority · 2025-12-28T22:19:56+00:00

You kill overthinking by gaining more experience and #s. It's really that simple. You have to push through it.

Dio331 · 2025-12-28T22:11:38+00:00

You have to stop caring about impressing them /trying too hard. It’s cliche, but he probably means be yourself and don’t force it. Just talk like you would take to your dude friends.

for the dance thing, honestly no one cares lol, just go out there to dance and have fun, vibe. The MORE you do it the easier it gets, and one day you’ll wonder how you could write this post haha

MightyMagicz · 2025-12-28T22:54:41+00:00

Change your mindset 1. It's a numbers game toughen up 2. Your just connecting and meeting nee friendly people you are not picking up. If you do it's a bonus 3. Your practicing/training yourself

Keep thinking of things to reframe your mindset.

hwillis891 · 2025-12-29T00:07:26+00:00

The best way to get out of your own head is to just do it.

I’ve scheduled myself to go out at least three days a week in places I’ve never been. I commit myself to it even with the fears. And you know what happens? I have a good ass time and realize everything I’ve worried about was just noise. Even when something bad happens I don’t really remember it because I’m having so much fun.

Just push yourself past your weakness and fears. Let go of results and just go for it. Worse thing that happens is you have a weird night and you chill.

misterman107 · 2025-12-29T08:42:29+00:00

read up on abundance mentality, develop an abundance mindset..

you're like I used to be, putting too much weight on the outcome of a single interaction.. and the thoughts of failure gets to be overwhelming

Haunting_Bid_408 · 2025-12-29T10:54:26+00:00

I just completely bombed with a client who made my jaw drop the first time I laid eyes on her. We had constant eye contact, smiles, laughs, etc. Great rapport. But I was nervous. I eventually just blurted out that she made it hard for me to focus because she was so adorable. Without smiling. Man. She freaked the fuck out. I'm a monster compared to her petite self.

I could either hang up my boots or work on myself. I'm motivated to start trying to meet women again after this. I don't actually care about the rejection. I'm just sad I scared her. I have self esteem issues to tackle. I am going to figure out how to work through this because I've fucked up so. many. times.

Budget-Kick822 · 2025-12-29T00:06:16+00:00

Outcome independence. You're focused on whether you pull or not. Focus on getting better at talking to girls and having fun talking to girls.

Abundance mindset. Getting rejected is not a personal affront on your value. Don't treat it as one. Treat every rejection as a learning opportunity

Shadow__Account · 2025-12-28T22:22:23+00:00

By time it will slowly happen, to speed it up what you need is more experiences and exposure.

So face it, get into more situations, create more options.

If you are a small child that transformer means the world to you and you are super invested, as you get older have money of your own, you owned Transformers etc. You dont care as much anymore, you dont lay awake thinking about that transformer.

Also if you have 3 other transformers laying around, you will care less about getting that latest one. It would be cool, but if you dont get it thats Ok, youll get another one.

Super random transformer comparison, but not feeling too creative so it will have to do.

EmpireStrikes1st · 2025-12-29T17:34:32+00:00

You have to care, but you have to let go of the attachment of getting it right every time. The best hitters in baseball strike out 7 out of 10 times. Be proud of yourself for trying, that's more than 9 out of 10 guys do.

hellfire1394 · 2025-12-29T00:49:48+00:00

Don't painfully force yourself into it. It's supposed to be a mutually enjoyable experience. If you eventually figure out that you don't like this game, that is also okay. You will find yours somewhere else.

Dandys3107 · 2025-12-29T01:55:48+00:00

You shoot your shot and if she rejects you, you move on to the next target or next opportunity. Let yourself swim in abundance, don’t put all eggs in one basket, it’s unwise. You should naturally stop caring too much if you have some solid alternatives.

JobLongjumping3478 · 2025-12-29T05:45:56+00:00

i dont care what they think- not true

their opinions dont matter- true

the second one is a good mantra!

Odd-Luck7658 · 2025-12-29T10:56:01+00:00

Go take a dance lesson.

Ok-Philosophy5181 · 2025-12-29T14:30:10+00:00

I used to think the same until I actually stopped caring. It’s weird but it works. You may find that the things you’re worrying about are either out of your control (meaning it’s out of your hands so you can’t do anything) or they’re not as major as you think they are. Talking and meeting new girls is supposed to be fun (personal epiphany moment) so I realised I was putting way too much effort/thought into it. Bro, with the dance have another think. No one’s expecting you to be prime MJ, just have fun and enjoy yourself and be open.👊🏽

eablokker · 2025-12-29T22:44:55+00:00

Man its frustrating how every answer in here is wrong. "Just stop thinking, just stop caring, more time, more experience." All wrong.

Here's the right answer. Overthinking is a very clear sign of emotional repression. Your thoughts are a reflection of your emotional state. When you have the same kinds of thoughts over and over again, it means you have a repressed emotion that is trying to come to the surface. You can't just make a feeling go away by forcing yourself to not feel it, they are a biological reality in your nervous system, and they will leak out in other ways.

Most likely what's happened is that you are trying to suppress your feelings of fear, anxiety, nervousness, excitement, etc., and those feelings are leaking out in the form of thoughts. When you are in a situation that makes you nervous, you are trying to bury your feelings of nervousness, but then your thoughts go crazy instead.

The solution is, instead of trying to *not* feel nervous, you should *allow* yourself to feel nervous. When you allow yourself to feel an emotion, it usually only takes 3 to 5 minutes for the emotion to be released and completed. Once it is completed, the thoughts are no longer necessary and you will not think them anymore. You could have several emotions that need to be released, or like layers and layers of emotions stacked up from past repression. So it could take some time, but the thoughts will become less and less with each emotion that is released.

Exposure to situations that make you overthink is key here, because those are your opportunities for identifying and releasing the emotions. Put yourself in situations that make you overthink, so you can practice releasing the emotions.

Next time you are in an overthinking situation, do the following:

Allow yourself to think the thoughts, don't resist them. Let them happen for a short time. Then move on to step 2.
Identify the emotion behind the thoughts. Ask yourself "What are these thoughts hiding? What are they protecting? How do I feel about these thoughts? What is the emotion behind these thoughts?"
Tune in to the emotion and allow yourself to feel it. Let it happen. Don't resist.
Ask your body for more. Ask it to give you the most intense emotion that it can. I say to myself "Bring it on! Do your worst! Let me have it! Is that the worst you can do?" Get that emotion going as intensely as possible. The goal is to burn the emotion out so it has no more energy left.

Within a few minutes the emotion will be gone, often permanently, and the thoughts will be gone or a lot less.

Plane_Benefit7868 · 2025-12-30T08:51:03+00:00

You have to be confident in yourself, really believe that you’re the shit, and know why you are. Then you will stop looking towards others for approval.

YourAwareCaregiver · 2025-12-29T04:29:20+00:00

Ive heard the psilocybin in acid and shrooms shows us to to take life less seriously and hence to care less about trivial things.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2025-12-28T22:15:10+00:00

Its more like you aren't sold on people before you even get to know them. Like why would you care what someone's opinion is without really knowing them or verifying their opinion is even a good idea? Why try to impress some women you don't even know who might not be a good partner for you? You can find a woman interesting but don't be sold from the very beginning.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-12-28T23:43:33+00:00

Keep yourself busy and stop thinking about it. Use that time for more important things like investment strategies.

Flex_Field · 2025-12-29T01:13:35+00:00

I understand.

I used to be you.

But age and wisdom catch up to you, and apathy will naturally set in.

When you have endured enough rejection and ridicule, there will come a point where you adapt and say, "fuck it".

Your self-consciousness and need to maintain a certain self image will be replaced with an understanding that you can't like everyone, and everyone isn't going to like you.

And you stop caring about insignificant little details like "what will she think about me?"

Clear-Rest-988 · 2025-12-29T01:21:42+00:00

Self amusement and outcome independence. And yes this comes from experience but it's a mindshift change. You can have an interaction purely for fun with a woman without trying hard to make it go somewhere and often times it will naturally move forward. Not that escalation isnt important but you could take that out consciously, still have fun and still learn a lot.

TransitionNormal1387 · 2025-12-29T01:31:43+00:00

Face your fears, try new things. Get rejected, broken up, chase experience, taking action while being patient with how you feel takes time, and will require you to step out of your comfort zone n the meantime.

A1Horizon · 2025-12-29T11:43:58+00:00

Abundance and time. I can’t really explain how and why it happens, but date enough people, especially simultaneously, and your capacity to care about the outcome with each girl will severely diminish

BounceThatShit · 2025-12-30T16:52:47+00:00

Its not about caring about approaching them its not caring about the consequences of approaching them, stop caring about what you think will happen after and just go for it. Or keep over thinking what might happen and go without ever having sex🤷‍♂️

Sappheiros- · 2025-12-29T00:27:41+00:00

Get a lobotomy

Title	How do I stop caring?
Author	rpphil96
Upvotes	51
Comments	66
Date	December 28, 2025 9:51 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1py3m7e/how_do_i_stop_caring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-caring.1569901 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569901

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