How do you dance at clubs?

saippuakauppias · 2011-05-03T09:02:03+00:00

Just like everything else in pickup, stop giving a shit. Go and enjoy yourself, enjoy the music, enjoy the flow, enjoy the party. Fuck, if you're the only one on the dance floor and you enjoy the fuck out of yourself, people are going to notice. Don't be drunk, don't be retarded, just seriously have fun. Girls will walk by and check you out, hell, it won't be that long before some of them join you on the floor. Wave them over and dance in each others general directions. Escalate from there.

Do you know how to tell someone who's not enjoying themselves dancing and someone who is? Someone who's enjoying themselves isn't paying attention to anyone else in the room. That's why when you see a group of frat boys in a club, they seem awkward, because they keep looking at each other, and at everyone else.

tl;dr -- stop giving a shit and just do.

dagurb · 2011-05-03T09:07:37+00:00

Someone posted this the other day. I thought it was pretty helpful: The complete idiot's guide to dancing.

OmegaProtocol · 2011-05-03T07:29:18+00:00

One thing I notice I lack is confidence in dancing.

You're not going to dance well if you don't enjoy it.

Find a style/genre you thoroughly enjoy and go from there.

For me, I didn't enjoy dancing (mainly because I couldn't) until I came across takeSomeCrime on Youtube. His style jives well as me and I learnt how to dance like him, albeit definitely not as well.

There's also a post in the sidebar you should check out.

The bottom line is though, if you don't enjoy dancing, you won't get good at it. Move to the beat, work on the torso, have fun.

FucksWithHiveMind · 2011-05-03T12:43:29+00:00

Next time take a look around. Everyone dance like idiots in clubs. I've seen geeky guys go mental before, after getting drunk for the first time or taking something else and they were just jumping around and throwing their hands all over the place then doing some kung foo shit yet everyone was like yeeeaaaaa! Cheering them on. I can't dance for shit to trance/house music but I fucking enjoy it so I just fist pump Jersey Shore style or move my hand to the beat and that's it. At the end of the day if she sees your enjoying a song that she also likes, you are off to a good start.

PS: Trust me, I'm like a club doctor. I used to go clubbing 2/3 times a week back in the uni/college days for probably 5 years straight.

cmdrNacho · 2011-05-03T08:34:10+00:00

pre or post hitch's lessons http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bH0OXsmsbQ

cptncrnch · 2011-05-03T09:30:22+00:00

You don't have to be the guy that wows the crowd or circle of people (not that it doesn't hurt to be that guy) because some girls aren't that great of dancers either. What you do need is to be confident in whatever it is that you're doing on the dance floor. You should be having the time of your life with the music and people around you whether you know them or not.

If you just have a tough time with the mechanics of dancing or rhythm, listen to more music and practice dancing at home or in your car. Learn to enjoy the parts of songs and expressing it with your body. Taking dance classes would be great if you have the time. I don't personally have experience with dance classes, but I would guess you can meet people and learn those skills a lot quicker. My advice though, if you're lacking confidence, is to take time to explore the range of motion of your body; stretch out and bend your arms, kick your legs, get silly at home so you're not self-conscious about the way you move.

Just in general, I seriously hate dudes that just stand around the dance floor, taking up space. You think you look weird with the way you dance? Take a look at those guys just standing there with their thumbs up their asses. Plus it's so much easier to approach a set if you're jumping/moving around the floor. You get people excited! There's no reason you shouldn't want to dance.

2011-05-03T11:01:13+00:00

If you are not confident in dancing, you will automatically suck at it. A while back I read an article about what makes women attracted to dancing men. It turned out it wasn't the moves, it wasn't the hips or any of that.

The one and only common denominator they could find in attractiveness in dancing, was confidence. Men who moved in a way that wasn't shaking or random, but rather a constant and confident movement, was the most attractive.

If you see men dance professionally, you can quickly recognize this is how they all dance. It simply doesn't matter what kind of movements they are, except for the fact that some movements will probably be harder to do with confidence than others.

As far as the rest of dancing is concerned, I generally like to put my hands just above the hips or on the small of their backs when I'm dancing with a girl. It allows you to kino, but also to maintain control of the girl's body in a subtle non-sleazy way.

2011-05-03T17:18:08+00:00

Man, boo these people who say just do it and have fun. I used to think that but my girlfriend of five years just informed me that she's lived in terror all this time that i'd ask her to dance again. I used to suck it up and try and have a good time but we don't do the club scene so it really never came up.

Apparently you can be that bad where even if you act confident and try not to be 'that guy' ruining shit for everyone else... you can frighten her very deeply.

2011-05-03T14:00:00+00:00

You're not drinking enough.

elguapo87 · 2011-05-03T11:58:29+00:00

Find the bassline and stay with it, leave all shame at the door, don't intrude on others' space but don't be afraid act like you're caught in a bubble. Just keep it natural.

RunsLikeAGirl · 2011-05-03T12:21:22+00:00

Don't overthink it. Listen for the bass and start moving with it. Just a subtle movement of the hips is a good way to start.

Main thing: just try and have fun. I (a female) love to dance, and I will always notice a guy who is having fun on the dancefloor.

Even better, take salsa dancing lessons. You probably won't get a chance to salsa dance much at a club, but it will increase your confidance and get you used to taking charge of a female and spinning her around where you want her to go. Women love a strong lead on the dancefloor.

adonisDNA- · 2011-05-03T13:12:17+00:00

don't worry too much about your dancing. people go out to have fun, not make fun of others. to begin with just go out and blend in by not doing too much, but not doing too little either. everyone can go out there and move their body to the beat a bit and fist pump a little. no one will even notice you. you may feel a bit awkward, but you get used to it.

focus on watching others, and then emulate them 2 minutes after they stop doing it. do this for a while until you have a few moves down. do this at home as well if you want to by looking at youtube vids. a lot of the stuff on youtube is pretty complex though, so it may take a bit more confidence before you start doing it, and to be honest, a lot of it is only really useful if you want to pull a solo dance in order to peacock, which isn't for everyone, and takes a lot of practice.

start putting your emulations into practice and build confidence. after a few weeks or months depending on how much you go out you'll feel perfectly fine on the dancefloor and you can focus on the important part of dancing; namely increasing your alphaness on the dance floor in order to attract girls. start by taking up a bit more space, and making your movements a bit bigger. you'll get more attention this way, and you'll have more space around you for chicks to come into. if you make eye contact with a chick, either pull her in (physically in a playful manner, or stretch out your hand for her to grab, or simply by using body language) or move closer to her. if she doesnt start grinding right away, spin her around once. this makes a huge difference, suddenly you arent just dancing next to eachother, you're dancing with eachother, and escalation becomes much easier.

another great way to initiate dance is the booty bump. make eye contact with someone close to you. if you get a friendly reaction (she smiles, doesnt look away, bites her lip, whatever) just bump your hips into her hips or her butt. do a bit of an over the top movement and stick your hands up so she knows its kind of like a way to say hello. at least half the time she'll try to bump you back in my experience, and its game on. spin her around and get to work.

another thing that works really well, and makes dancing a lot more enjoyable is if you can somehow find a way to joke around with your friends while on the dancefloor. it may be as simple as seeing someone do some ridiculous move one night, and then you can make fun of it another night by making it an inside joke and doing it together. you'll get a laugh out of it, and chicks will see you're having fun and realize you're not dancing like that seriously, but instead want to become part of that fun.

yokhai · 2011-05-03T13:47:03+00:00

Depending on what city you are in, there are tons of hip hop shops and dance teams, you just gotta do some searching. Approach them just like you would us. You like going to clubs, but you are new to it and have no idea how to dance or how to act, and ask them for help. That's how i learned how to dance. They guys in dance crews and troupe will offer some of the best advice on dancing and how to behave in a club, just don't listen to them about women. They will try to run your ear off about how to pick up chicks, ignore that shit. We got you covered here for that.

Good luck man.

nanan00 · 2011-05-03T15:00:51+00:00

One of my goals for self improvement this year is to learn how to swing and salsa dance.

side2 · 2011-05-03T15:14:28+00:00

I love dancing when I go out. I will tell you when you are dancing for only yourself you will get girls coming to you. However if you are too twitchy they will keep their distance because you look twitchy and also because they don't want punched on accident.

Think of it this way... If you are going to approach a girl for a dance on the floor you must approach her like she is already your girlfriend. That confidence and comfort-ability in your approach will make her comfortable. She will turn around to see who you are if you approach from behind but you got to just smile and keep dancing and she will probably get more into it.

Some girls just want to dance alone or with other girls so no shame in it. You will get turned down but don't worry because everyone dances for their own reason.

NEVER FUCKING ASK PERMISSION to dance with a girl because the answer is no. The only exception that is even close to asking is when you have been talking to a girl off the dance floor.

You then say something like: hey lets go dance and lightly guide her there by taking her hand and directing the way.

To get a girl off the floor you must get her to face you first. Oddly enough some girls find it easier to just rub their ass on you then face you. So to turn them you just take one of their hands and spin them around to face you.

Remember you are dancing with them not holding onto them for dear life so just take it easy and enjoy yourself but yes you do need some kino while dancing but that doesn't mean holding it means touching and movement.

After she is turned you can ask her name. Then say, "x Let's go talk off the dance floor and get to know each-other."

The rest is normal game.

sockthepuppetry · 2011-05-03T16:02:28+00:00

General tips: bumping ass to ass is less intimidating to a girl than grinding up on her. Do it playfully. If you're dancing with a girl to the point that you're looking at each other, extend your hand palm up to ask for her hand. BAM! Instant KINO time. If you have her hand, be fun. Spin her around, motion with it.

However, with exceptions in certain clubs, the dance floor is mostly a dead zone for me. The only thing you can notice about me in a dark loud room is my (lack of) height. I have no chance to talk, to show my strengths.

The other issue is that women have their guards ridiculously high. Women have been so used to guys dancing up on them, they have evolved a whole "protect the pack" strategy. If you want to have any success, you're going to have to find some way to show a group of girls that you're awesome and fun, just by dancing.

So, in conclusion, don't dance for the women; dance for yourself. Dancing because you're having a good time, because you're enjoying the music. It takes too damn much energy to make it a successful pick up arena, so just enjoy and maybe you'll hook up as a side effect.

If you want to know how, just find music you enjoy, apply alcohol, start being as ridiculous as everyone around you.

Lanko · 2011-05-03T16:40:32+00:00

How I got around this was just by learning to dance with a partner. Salsa, swing and blues. I took some lessons as a hobby and there are regular events around my city where I can go to practice. Blues is especially good because it's the most flexible (allowing you to play around and be fun) and the emphasis is on being sexy/flirty. After I got used to doing this my dance game at the clubs changed drastically. I wasn't afraid to just go out on the dance floor and have fun solo. I don't apply any of what I learned when I'm on the dance floor (I'm not going to dance salsa to pop music). but the result is I have a lot more awareness of my body language/movements and can improvise and play with the music much better. (if I'm on the floor with a girl, I can sometimes get away with throwing some blues in and it'll make her panties drop, when she realizes I have a few tricks up my sleeve.)

Also the absolute best DHV's I've managed have been when I brought a blues partner out onto a dance floor. I've ended dances with an applause from the bar. Damn I wish that girl would wing for me more often.

squibby · 2011-05-03T17:11:12+00:00

Keep your head up, dont look at your feet. Its all in the hips and the feet, keep them moving to the beat. People aren't watching you as much as you think. Try and feel like you are by yourself. Pick up moves you like, ape them until they are yours.

HavartiParty · 2011-05-03T18:00:04+00:00

Pro tip-A drink in each hand saves you from worrying about what to do with your arms.

seddit_throwaway1500 · 2011-05-03T18:54:29+00:00

this isn't club dancing, but have you ever taken any dance classes (salsa, swing, ballroom, etc)? I find that, having taken some dance classes that dancing to what they play at bars here (mostly hip hop/top40) is a lot easier since I have confidence that, regardless of club dancing I know how to actually dance.

...then again I refuse to call grinding "dancing"

NitsujTPU · 2011-05-03T18:58:31+00:00

It's like the TV in poltergeist. Don't look at the dance floor, don't enter the dance floor. You can't talk to a girl there anyway.

antisocialiting · 2011-05-03T20:26:09+00:00

like ian curtis

dzy1 · 2011-05-04T00:26:08+00:00

Do a basic two step to the beat in front of girl. Extend hand, if she takes it, IOI. Dance for a bit holding her hand. Turn her into you. Don't get too touchy feely dancing behind her. Keep one hand on her hip and one keep on holding her hand.

2011-05-04T02:33:19+00:00

you got to feel the music inside of you, i recommend doing ecstasy to see what i mean

jzcyqf · 2011-05-03T07:18:02+00:00

Like those people from that Technotronic "Pump Up The Jam" video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyK9YDYyhLY

cyber_rigger · 2011-05-03T17:10:00+00:00

Just remember to move your feet.

PrimaxAUS · 2011-05-03T13:26:20+00:00

Don't learn how to dance... Learn how to enjoy yourself. Dancing can simply be bouncing up and down and back and forth.

If you are going to pick up women then they will see the energy you are putting off faster than how slick your liquid or pop'n'lock are.

People think too much into dancing.

MooseSteets · 2011-05-03T13:31:03+00:00

How about you just go out, dance, and have fun with it?

Title	How do you dance at clubs?
Author	JerkingOffToKarma
Upvotes	52
Comments	49
Date	May 3, 2011 6:47 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/h2yt2/how_do_you_dance_at_clubs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-dance-at-clubs.1317947 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317947

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