How do you refuse paying for a girl without sounding like a cheap bastard or a jerk

McGoldfish · 2011-03-27T17:02:15+00:00

"All right. You'll get the popcorn and drinks." Also, don't go to the movies. Go to a bar instead.

2011-03-27T17:16:34+00:00

Bar: rule of thumb.. if you order it, you pay for it.

Movies: split the costs like Mcgoldfish said, either tickets or snacks or desert later.

What tends to happen, is the girl (in my case anyways) pays for the first night, and Ill get the second. And we switch it up that way.

Tenmagnet · 2011-03-27T17:13:32+00:00

Depends:

First date, you want to pay, just don't go to anything you can't afford. And don't go to movies. A cheap, fun restaurant is usually the way to go, or even just a bar.

After the first date, if you want to go duch, just say, "I'll get half of this" or something like that.

Usually though, I will pay for 60-70% of the bills when they come. So we split dinner, but I pay for drinks, or vice versa. Paying just that little extra amount often makes thinks a lot easier.

hopscotchking · 2011-03-27T18:52:19+00:00

"I'll get the first round. You can get the next 5"

boggie94 · 2011-03-27T18:16:16+00:00

alright i will give you my story.. im 17 me and this girl have been dating for a few weeks now and it was just a date i didnt mind paying because she did buy me a tgi gift card for my bday which i used to pay for our dinner before this movie

anyway i just want to give the signal that im not always going to pay for her things and for her not to get used to spending my money

IniNew · 2011-03-27T19:46:13+00:00

My general rule is that if I've consciously invited her somewhere, like to a movie, I'll go ahead and pay. Bonus points for her if she offers to, however.

In a random club or something, however, I never have and never will offer to buy a girl a drink.

Lanko · 2011-03-27T23:42:19+00:00

She's asking you to buy her something? Treat it as a shit test.

daygamer · 2011-03-28T00:03:01+00:00

I just think of it in my head like it's me and a male friend going to the movies. If he asked me to pay for him I'd laugh and ask if he's on benefits or something. Never pay for a woman's time. You may lose the odd girl over this, but fuck 'em.

2011-03-28T15:46:20+00:00

Here is what I usually do. If she's asking you to pay for things that's basically a shit test.

However, if you have a little extra cash, don't be afraid to pay for stuff of your own volition. Don't be her sugar daddy, but it's okay to be a gentleman.

RobotGymnast · 2011-03-27T20:13:22+00:00

After reading all the comments here, my opinion is as such: Pay for the first date, and on subsequent dates, say something like "I'll pay for half." If she complains in any way, just be straight up direct and alpha about it; if she really takes offense to it, then it sucks to be her.

MrRisky · 2011-03-27T22:17:00+00:00

If she outright asks for you to buy her ticket, that bodes terribly for any potential hook-up. It means you're already going as friends, you just don't know it yet.

Young girls do this often, as they test the boundaries of their sexual power. Don't worry about looking like a jerk. Tell her she's getting both tickets, then settle for her getting her own.

Also, as everybody else has said, movies are a crap date. If you're under 21, bowling and billiards are a way better date than a movie.

kromak · 2011-03-28T02:10:38+00:00

Why not buy it?

Ws_Ws_EVERYWHERE · 2011-03-27T18:49:25+00:00

You should pay for the girl, but don't make it a big thing. When the waiter gives you the bill, simply pay. Don't be all like "I'll pay for you". That just comes off as cheesy.

etherspirit · 2011-03-27T17:16:18+00:00

"What do I get for buying you a movie ticket?" I could give more advice if you give more context.

seddit_throwaway1500 · 2011-03-27T17:56:36+00:00

Not sure where all the hate is coming from for movies. I think they're a great place to mess around or get at least get some kino in. Sure, a bar is a more social atmosphere but at a movie it's just the two of you in the back row...

2011-03-28T15:46:25+00:00

Here is what I usually do. If she's asking you to pay for things that's basically a shit test.

However, if you have a little extra cash, don't be afraid to pay for stuff of your own volition (without her asking). Don't be her sugar daddy, but it's okay to be a gentleman.

Wumb0l0gy · 2011-03-27T17:44:47+00:00

movies rock -- nowhere better for kino, especially now that the newer movie theatres have armrests that move up.

Nothing stronger for your game than a dark room full of strangers and your girl next to you.

CatchAndRelease · 2011-03-28T02:46:26+00:00

Depends.

Getting her to pay, because you're broke-AFC

Paying everything, because thats what the guy is supposed to do-AFC

Paying for everything, leaving a big tip and making her feel like she is supposed to pay you back later ;-) - Alpha

having her pay, because you are pretending to be not interested in her-Alpha

Title	How do you refuse paying for a girl without sounding like a cheap bastard or a jerk
Author	boggie94
Upvotes	21
Comments	42
Date	March 27, 2011 4:57 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gck8t/how_do_you_refuse_paying_for_a_girl_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-refuse-paying-for-a-girl-without.1316779 https://theredarchive.com/post/1316779

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