How to stop being so serious

2021-11-16T03:34:03+00:00

You have to enjoy life think long term and think about how your gonna make your life Better, and it’s ok to be serious because if your not serious about your life the people will treat you like a joke; but like most things in life there needs to be a balance so just pick your spots and your moments and just be fired up about life man. Because life is a beautiful think you gotta enjoy it now rather than later

igorkogut13 · 2021-11-16T03:35:50+00:00

you sound like somebody who should just get busy, go to a bar. and start trying shit. you won't have that natural instinct of how to have a perfect convesation, with good joke timings etc. Without getting out and just getting comfortable. you need to assert a social identity that works for you without it being too much of a persona. So go in there don't lie (ever) and just try out stuff.

BrownnPickup · 2021-11-16T03:50:40+00:00

You need to connect with that side of you. It’s still there but you need to bring that out in you. Do something artistic that lets you goof off. What was your favorite things to do that let you express that side of you when you were 18?

modestvenus · 2021-11-16T03:29:39+00:00

I am also 27 and have struggled with anxiety and depression through the years. I went to a nightclub the other day with friends who are in their late 30s, and I was the grump. I was coking and drinking and still wasn’t enjoying myself. It’s probably a personality thing. I take the Myers Briggs about once a year and it’s usually the same or similar type. But as I get older, I realize what I like and don’t like. I’m the type who likes to drink and drug in the comfort of my own home and comfort, and you may be the same type. Nothing wrong with that.

Frackin_heck · 2021-11-16T04:05:09+00:00

Tune it all out. All of it. Until you find a tunnel. A mental tunnel that leads from you to what you're after. That's confidence. Only after this is when you look at yourself in the mirror, understand who you are as a person, and absolutely crush everything you set your mind to.

Use what you have today as a platform and build on them. 1% everyday. Not much but in a consistent direction. Until 6 months go by, then you see how much you've built out your comfort zone.

Good luck!

EagerSleeper · 2021-11-16T14:30:44+00:00

I think there's a middle ground one can use as a stepping stone, and its a sort of semi-cynical humor. It's a fine balance, because you're not exactly going in with a biting, bitter sort of commentary, but more of an attitude that you've been doing the whole "socializing" thing for so long that you know when to poke fun at it. You're essentially "reacting" to a part of the conversation in a way that points out some absurdity in it, usually as a subtle tease to the person saying it.

A prime example is the late, great Norm Macdonald. He's not jumping around with any kind of Jim Carrey energy, but people are laughing just as much if not more. He kind of picks apart a situation and is able to insert observational little bits of humor, usually sarcastic without being outright rude^*, often with a little smirk to clue people in that he's being playful.

My 2 favorite Norm Macdonald examples of this is Letterman and Bobby Lee

The best part of this kind of wit is that it completely relies on listening skills, which in and of itself is going to get you out of your own head and make you seem more engaged than if you are just listening long enough until you can start talking again. In a normal conversation, you can often follow up your quip with a question or related comment. Instead of stopping someone dead in their tracks with a funny comment, you can say what you have to say to elicit a laugh or smile, then follow up by having them elaborate so the flow of conversation isn't halted.

^{^*} ^{^One} ^{^thing} ^{^I} ^{^would} ^{^recommend} ^{^is} ^{^to} ^{^try} ^{^not} ^{^being} ^{^too} ^{^critical} ^{^or} ^{^{condescending,}} ^{^because} ^{^then} ^{^you} ^{^just} ^{^look} ^{^like} ^{^a} ^{^{self-important}} ^{^pretentious} ^{^dick}

Casanova-Quinn · 2021-11-16T15:06:20+00:00

How To Be More Fun

Ecstatic-Flounder-48 · 2021-11-16T16:31:07+00:00

Honestly, I just try to see how like I can go with talking but saying absolutely nothing. For every serious question that you get asked, think of the right answer and then go left.

vinniesins · 2021-11-16T03:27:36+00:00

live in the now.

dreameater42 · 2021-11-16T14:33:15+00:00

we truly live in a society

rwalsh138 · 2021-11-16T15:02:32+00:00

When you're with a woman, just treat her like a bratty sister. Tease her a little bit, joke around, just have fun. Make her associate you with laughing and having fun. When I'm around any woman, I'm always cracking dad jokes and just trying to make them laugh. There's enough seriousness and anxiety in the world, so just show women that you can give them a break from all that.

SithLordJediMaster · 2021-11-16T15:41:13+00:00

"Why SO Serious?" - Joker in The Dark Knight

SeaworthinessDull951 · 2021-11-16T21:08:32+00:00

Two shots of moonshine after waking up, one before sunset.

J2794 · 2021-11-16T06:49:01+00:00

Do you want to know how I got these scars? Why so serious..?

SigmundFreud · 2021-11-16T08:33:26+00:00

Have you tried changing the way you dress? For example, this would be a very smart outfit to help sell your dark and mysterious persona; I would just fill your closet with that.

Another suggestion would be to start hitting the gym, if you don't already. It's going to be hard to pull this off in a way that makes you seem badass without muscles to back it up.

Your behavior also needs to be more consistent for this to work. Rather than an awkward smile, you should suppress any emotional reaction, preferring a short and sweet verbal response such as "I see". You'll want to be noticed having shady phone calls in hushed tones. Whenever a topic comes up that you think would seem interesting or manly for you to be angry/passionate about, speak at a higher volume with a sharper tone while narrowing your eyes, and in your language you should be both less concise (while still preferring short sentences in active voice) and less inhibited in expressing ideas and information that you haven't fully thought through or fact checked.

As a bonus, you'll have a lot more street cred if you were previously in the military or a gang. If this isn't the case, consider joining at least one of the two in a non-combat capacity (e.g. office work); just one year of experience will be enough. Afterwards, make sure to actively let people know about your history, and refuse to ever talk about the shit you saw. Women will interpret your quietness as a coping method for severe trauma and take it as a challenge to break through your tough, gritty exterior and teach you what love is.

Mc_Dickles · 2021-11-16T06:59:02+00:00

Drinking a Straw-Ber-Rita helps

LucianU · 2021-11-16T07:22:29+00:00

Ask yourself: what would happen if I acted like my old self?

What reasons come to mind? You don't have to post them here, but it could give you clues. Those are most likely fears that you will lose something (self-esteem, respect, something else).

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-11-16T07:41:42+00:00

Give yourself some time. You have a goal now. I too have been too angry and upset in he past. I believe there is a value to it especially in a society which is always swinging back and forth in manic or depressive episodes. It’s hard to say enough about how unhappy people are because all they want is to be happy.

But as a human being you gotta take joy seriously too. I’d say focus on being genuine and allowing yourself to look stupid because you said something you thought was funny. Keep doing it and you’ll open up more. Don’t go telling yourself you’re shit because it’s not easy right away.

Agreeable_Occasion13 · 2021-11-16T08:22:17+00:00

Give it a rest, give it time.

nbh1995 · 2021-11-16T08:24:22+00:00

I feel the same and I think a lot of us feel the same way bro...covid and some personal tragedies have ruined my social skills...Im trying to climb back up but its going to take a while...trust the process and just gain some experience again...

1000miles_if_i_could · 2021-11-16T09:22:06+00:00

Firstly, just wanna say that being serious might just be a sign of maturity. But I know what you mean about being too serious and that might be a bit socially awkward sometimes.

I found alcohol helps me to ease up sometimes. Sometimes hanging out with a slightly younger group of people also helps. You could observe and learn how they interact with others.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-11-16T09:26:39+00:00

Well Life is a great big farce and we’re just biochemical puppets; try to enjoy the ride and laugh rather than cry and all that shit

And try medication if you suspect you’re battling a chemical depression

Unfortunately courtship is all about that mindless laid back humour, and I too struggled to bring it when I was in a bad place (although I was hardly motivated to bother either)

Domenic-Alecto · 2021-11-16T09:30:18+00:00

Seems to me you just changed and that's okay. I would not try to fight it. Try to embrace it.

thementalyogi · 2021-11-16T16:46:29+00:00

Accept it! I always worried about being too serious, but in my opinion being serious is a powerful way if being. Just accept the way you are and be it.

wolfbee16 · 2021-11-17T01:22:52+00:00

I’m best when I’m having fun myself and making myself laugh. Almost everything I say is lighthearted and cheerful. Try to enjoy the vibe of the place you are at first then try and flirt

Illustrious-Signal22 · 2021-11-17T02:20:33+00:00

Have you ever watched the Joker (2019)?

Title	How to stop being so serious
Author	gannex
Upvotes	169
Comments	56
Date	November 16, 2021 3:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/quy8v8/how_to_stop_being_so_serious/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-being-so-serious.1272222 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272222

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