I'm a natural at everything, except opening. Give me a hand?

sillymallard · 2011-12-18T19:47:21+00:00

Keep this attitude:

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/kiwx1/my_son_running_to_the_swingset_dad_theres_new/

Here is one of my standard openers: Approach from the side, drink at the waist, genuine mischievous middle-schooler smile, and say "Hey! How's your night going?" If they respond go with it. If no response, I answer my own question without dropping an ounce of state "I'm just here kicking it with my friends, we're having a blast. How long have you guys been here? Are you from around here?" If no response, I answer my own question, "I've lived here for a few years and absolutely love it. I don't think we're going to stay here the entire night, I've a few other favorite spots I usually like to hit up. I'm sillymallard by the way, what's your name?" I stick my hand out into their personal space, and they have to acknowledge me by this point. If they're still cold, I say, "Well, nice talking to you!" and I bounce to the next set. Rinse, repeat. Sometimes the original set that was cold to me will warm up once they realize I could care less if I got their attention or not.

If you have serious approach anxiety, make your goal easier than having a 5 minute conversation. Make your goal something something like saying hi or asking for the time, and nothing more. Get used to this simple stuff and then build up from there.

HustleNFlo · 2011-12-18T19:30:45+00:00

Do you remember the 3 second rule? If you see a girl that you have to approach, do it under 3 seconds. It helps to not think about it, just go into it head on. Also if you're keen on the ways of Juggler (Wayne Elise) you would know that you must be like a Ninja--adapt to your environment. Make your environment help you approach girls. You can go up to the girl and ask her any question that would be simple to agree to. You got this man. Also, before you go out, try to get pumped up about being extroverted. It helps.

Detached09 · 2011-12-18T19:34:35+00:00

play a game with yourself (or anyone you go out with) that when you see someone not talking to someone else you must approach them. doesn't matter if they're a dude, a chick or a HB. whatever you do after that is up to you, but you at least have to start a conversation.

selux · 2011-12-18T22:18:24+00:00

I'm a natural at everything except closing. Give me a hand?

marco161091 · 2011-12-18T19:47:44+00:00

Have you thought about what exactly makes you anxious about approaching a strange girl?

For most people it's usually fear of rejection, fear of judgement by others watching, fear of her boyfriend hitting them, etc. So when they force themselves to approach regularly, they realize that they don't need to be afraid of these things and this generally tends to get rid of AA for them.

But you've already tried approaching over and over so your problem might be something else. So think about it for a while. Why do you feel anxious about approaching a strange girl?

Wallothet · 2011-12-18T19:33:16+00:00

This will work http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu5iKvgzpjk

2011-12-18T22:59:16+00:00

Regardless of where your strengths may or may not lie, you still have to address every step of this process. You're not doing enough approaches if you still get flustered when approaches don't go perfectly. As with anything else, you need to get a thick skin and learning how to prevail regardless of how the first few moves go.

trafficstar · 2011-12-19T02:05:58+00:00

It's very werrd, but I have the EXACT same problem. I read through the posts and all over your responses and it feels like a VERY similar problem.

I think my issues comes down to confidence in the end. I'm very tight, and very confident in general, but somehow when the girl approaches me I became much MORE confident for that spurt which allows the conversation to flow much more freely. When I have to approach, I am less confident because I'm way less sure of if she is interested in me.

Not sure if it is the same with you, but reading your comments I think that may be the underlying issue.

Richandler · 2011-12-19T03:37:43+00:00

The best actors you see never stop getting nervous. In fact they thrive off it. It's living for the approach anxiety and performing using that nervous energy which probably propels you or it should. You're human and approach isn't natural; or if it is then being nervous is the natural reaction.

It's a big risk and always will be to walk up to woman. You have to enjoy it though.

demonshalo · 2011-12-18T21:42:31+00:00

Walk up and say this with a sarcastic tone and a big fat sneaky smile: hey, my name is X and I am a very shy guy but I had to come up to talk to you.

if she rejects you, you say: haha obviously you don't get sarcasm cupcake... laugh and walk away.

if she is cool, she'll say: well you don't seem to be that shy. then you respond: I'm not, I was just trying to get your attention...

and then ask whatever question that cross your mind at that moment. :)

Tetrodotoxin · 2011-12-19T00:40:22+00:00

Learn how to bullshit man. It will do you wonders. Be as random as possible- this makes you look original.

2011-12-19T02:36:09+00:00

I've made leaps and bounds by talking to everyone. Whenever you're in line at a grocery store or you see someone interesting, male or female, talk to them. Find something interesting they're wearing or reading/doing and make conversation. If you talk to the interesting ones, it eventually becomes easier to talk to the not as interesting ones and thinking of things to talk about.

Servios · 2011-12-19T03:04:23+00:00

"Hey."

Sometimes the lack of a question makes you all the more interesting.

dGasim · 2011-12-19T12:42:57+00:00

if an HB opens, how to change roles so that you run the set? Even if she's interested, she might have the control and it might mess it up IMO. Dont know though. I had a problem like this. It went really good but ended up with suck a bag of dicks.

Wewz · 2011-12-19T15:58:14+00:00

Would recommend you to try to learn Cold Reading if you don't already do it, haven't tried it for my own yet but i could maybe give you a better chance of finding the right words to open and continue with.

iznou · 2011-12-20T17:11:03+00:00

How much sexual experience do you have?

zebrake2010 · 2011-12-25T09:45:10+00:00

If its a funeral, say, "How Do you know the family?"

Church? "How long have you been attending here?"

Conference? "Which sessions have you enjoyed?"

MARSpu · 2011-12-18T20:41:32+00:00

Write your own openers and mess around with them.

Detached09 · 2011-12-18T19:32:11+00:00

3 ways:

cocaine
alcohol
sack up and just greet or acknowledge her as soon as you see her.

Title	I'm a natural at everything, except opening. Give me a hand?
Author	Detached09
Upvotes	85
Comments	79
Date	December 18, 2011 7:17 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/nhjdh/im_a_natural_at_everything_except_opening_give_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-a-natural-at-everything-except-opening-give-me.1325941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1325941

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