Inner game issues? Get your ass in here.

guitar3000 · 2012-07-28T17:45:15+00:00

This is why I love this subreddit, forget the perk of seducing women, I like feeling great about myself.

asshold · 2012-07-28T18:44:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PenKaizen · 2012-07-28T18:42:01+00:00

These posts are not very useful apart from to flaunt how happy the OP is at the moment. That "Eureka" moment can't be preached or lectured at people, you can't just say "Go to the gym" and instill that burning motivation in somebody to go the gym

Ultimately it is down to the individual to figure this out for themselves, it's a journey only the individual can take and it isn't a quick process.

I really annoys me when people tell others to do a complete emotional 180, it's easier said than done, and if anything makes the person feel more down because they know they can't do it that easily.

DarthBrooks · 2012-07-28T21:05:07+00:00

But in all seriousness... If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, DO NOT COME HERE FOR HELP. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IMMEDIATELY.

checky · 2012-07-28T16:51:03+00:00

A nice post to put things in perspective. Hate the way you had to take to get to this state of mind, but glad you're there now.

Petaroo · 2012-07-28T23:20:24+00:00

4 week depression? oh right cause depression is like the common cold.

calibansfury · 2012-07-28T21:36:57+00:00

I find it amazing that someone posts something positive and forward looking, and the first thing that's done is to ignore the message and immediately psycho-analyze the person. It doesn't matter if he's going through a bipolar cycle (done it), it doesn't matter if he was or wasn't 'actually' depressed, or if he's clinically depressed like many of us. What matters is how someone may relate to the message. Some of us don't suffer from constant, long-term depression. Some of us do. Both groups of people could extract from the message the idea that if there's something wrong in your life, it's 100% your responsibility to do something about it. Manic depressive? See the psychiatrist. Work to find balance. A substance abuser? Fucking quit it. Fat? They make gyms for that. Good food too. That's the message. Its your responsibility to get to the point where you love yourself, and if you can reach that point, all the rest--love, life, relationships, success--that's easy.

unknown_newman · 2012-07-28T21:26:15+00:00

So, I used to suffer with HOCD, homosexual OCD that is. I struggled with this and long story short, the last 6 years of my life have been filled with depression. Now, after therapy, I am glad to say I'm rid of the depression, but I'm sad that so many important years went down the drain.

I didn't make many friends during my years as a student
I did poorly in school ( engineering)
And I never had any contact with women - getting out of bed before 5 pm was such a higher priority than getting laid.

I will say, that to just tell yourself "I'm awesome" might sound cheesy, but it actually is just that simple to turn everything around.

According to many religions, and atheist, our thoughts do not determine who we are. Our actions do. One idea in Buddhism is that the mind is like a mirror, and which thoughts we put in front of it are the ones that become reflected and the ones that fill our heads. Basically, let depressive thoughts fill your head - you'll get sad. Let happy thoughts fill your head - you'll get happy. But this is easier said than done, however, it takes practice.

I recommend two things in order to build your self image and get your confidence on track:

Meditation and living in the present. Mindfulness is key. Learn to appreciate here and now, and not divulge yourself in depressive thoughts of what might or might not happen.

couple of links if you're interested: how-to-live-fully-in-the-present/ mindfulness

Small victories. Change your habbits. Start working out if your're not already doing it. Not to look good, but to experience the structure. By doing this you'll be able to tell yourself "I'm a guy that works out, and manages to stick with what I set out to do". Get up in the morning and enjoy the day. Appreciate your life. Accept what is going on right here and now. If there is something that is bothering you, say maybe you're spending too much time on your PC, deal with that. Do something about it, don't just think about doing something, do it! It will give you so much peace. Peace that will make picking up girls so much easier. And why is this?

Now, when you see a girl, you only focus on here and now. Who are you? You're a guy that get's up in the morning and handles his life with dignity. You respect yourself, and you respect others. The girl you're about to talk to is probably supercool, that's why you're talking to her and you don't have anything to be ashamed of, only everything to be proud of. You know you're good enough. You don't need to impress anybody, you can just experience their presence. This an amazing experience. From now on do what you want. Get to really know amazing people, or fuck them, I don't care. You have the power to experience the most beautiful things in world in the palm of your hand. What you do with it is your call.

tl;dr depressed for 6 years. Rebuilt my confidence by getting my shit together (school, working out), and learning how to appreciate the beauty of just experiencing life, and not forcing any outcome (meditation, mindfulness)

never been happier :D

flamesbladeflcl · 2012-07-28T18:06:08+00:00

In summary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gqYAuFvtXM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

occupykony · 2012-07-28T21:07:50+00:00

The more I learn about seduction, the more I experience it, the more I fall down and pick myself up again, the more I discover the truth in your words. There is a switch in each of us. For some it's buried more deeply than others. For some it can be a journey of weeks, months, even years to reach it. For others, including myself, it's only on in bursts. Once you can flip it, embrace yourself with all of your strengths and all of your flaws, you can be capable of anything. Anything.

Tyler Durden likes to say that getting women is 80-85% inner game and 15-20% outer game. Take that to heart.

Steameffekt · 2012-07-28T21:56:57+00:00

I'd like to thank you on your post. Not only do I agree and can completely relate to it, I went down a similar (not suicidal) path. I wasn't loving myself. I wasn't happy with who I was, how I tried multiple times to be someone who I wasn't. It happened to me all throughout high school and it got the better of me.

Once I graduated it hit me like a brick. I had an epiphany. You need to love YOURSELF before others can love you, just as you said. Be who YOU are and not mimic others. I started to work out as a way for me to boost my confidence and started coming out my shell - and slowly but surely - I was just happy. Happy with who I was, happy with just about (not all) everything in my life, where my life was headed.

One thing that always got me high school was me being very self-conscious. I always cared what others thought of me. It's what made me become something I wasn't. The approach I take now is basically "Fuck what other people think and just roll with it". With that being my mindset, I've had some of the best days of my life and can happily say I'm not the same person I was in high school.

Now I'm off to college in the fall and haven't felt this excited and happy about myself in a very long time or maybe it's my first time feeling this way about myself. Either way, I love the way my life is headed and what OP said, just do it.

theameer · 2012-07-28T22:35:06+00:00

TIL the word "100%ly".

leboob · 2012-07-29T03:16:58+00:00

Or, in the words of courage wolf...

PISS LIGHTNING

SHIT SUCCESS

2012-07-28T17:40:18+00:00

This is awesome bro

goodknee · 2012-07-28T19:12:27+00:00

nice post, what if i ~~think~~ know im awesome, but i still don't make a move? whats up with that?

JustKeepDrinking · 2012-07-28T20:57:42+00:00

Thanks man :)

Major_Pancakes · 2012-07-28T22:22:04+00:00

Thank you Brother, YOU'RE Fucking Awesome!

uberafc · 2012-07-28T23:03:33+00:00

What about the things you have no control over and you can't change?

Poueff · 2012-07-28T23:27:54+00:00

The only aspect of my life that I'm unhappy is that I need to relly on my family to get anywhere I want to, severely cutting back on everyone's freedom to do whatever they please, because I'm both too young and not a car owner.

On myself, though? I fucking love myself, and when I finally figured myself out, I started cherishing my self-esteem.

DebatablyClutch · 2012-07-29T01:09:52+00:00

Ok. So I'm not perfectly happy with myself. I've established that. I want to be. How do I go about achieving that?

jkg5150 · 2012-07-29T01:18:38+00:00

Starting reading thinking "oh here we go"... Came out with new insights to things I simply must fix.

Would upvote again.

jkg5150 · 2012-07-29T01:31:45+00:00

Fair point, boils down to "if you've got it you're not here" though.

galtor2 · 2012-07-29T02:11:26+00:00

Not bad, good post.

animaniatico · 2012-07-29T02:56:19+00:00

Seems like you'd be a FANTASTIC member of /r/howtonotgiveafuck/

squarehouse · 2012-07-29T04:13:47+00:00

We need a separate seddit for FAers.

cma6250 · 2012-07-29T17:00:29+00:00

Something I practice to learn to love myself is complete acceptance of what I cannot change. There are things people cannot change, this is not a matter of "will not" vs "cannot." I agree with op, if you are not 100% able to love yourself, especially your flaws reach out and accept them, affirmations have given me control and power over my life and I suggest everybody try them.

2012-07-29T21:29:05+00:00

What specific steps should people who aren't happy with themselves be taking? It's great to talk about "LOVE YOUR SELF FUCK YEAH" but if you don't feel it repeating that doesn't work. I need an action plan, not a cheerleader.

Spekter5150 · 2012-07-31T01:22:03+00:00

Just wanted to say that your post, OP, is exactly what I needed right now.

Thanks brother.

magicroot75 · 2012-07-28T18:18:22+00:00

You don't have to feel satisfied with every aspect of yourself. That is delusional. You're not perfect. You do, however, need to be comfortable with the fact that your not perfect and avoid blaming and shaming yourself about your flaws. Embrace them, they make you YOU.

criticdude · 2012-07-28T17:41:19+00:00

I am the strongest man in the world.

IP3R2KO · 2012-07-28T23:27:33+00:00

I don't care who you are, you should be lifting weights if you aren't already. Your game will improve, and women will notice. They probably already notice you thinking about going to the gym.

Link for the lazy: r/weightroom

Now stop being lazy and go to the gym!

dongpal · 2012-07-28T21:49:00+00:00

Go to the fucking gym and work out until you're completely satisfied with your appearance.

I takes me years to finally get satisfied. What now?

sorgenvind · 2012-07-28T22:15:08+00:00

Someone who was recently suicidally depressed for a month is giving advice to other people about inner game?

This is totally pathetic.

soomanysecrets · 2012-07-28T17:12:30+00:00

Church!!

Title	Inner game issues? Get your ass in here.
Author	RecoveredMan
Upvotes	261
Comments	81
Date	July 28, 2012 4:32 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xawbm/inner_game_issues_get_your_ass_in_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/inner-game-issues-get-your-ass-in-here.1295772 https://theredarchive.com/post/1295772

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