Most of this knowledge seems virtually impossible to use in practice.

IronManSeduction · 2016-12-04T07:59:55+00:00

Hey vertical_bird_device,

1. Where to meet women

Coffee shops and parks. Don't overburden yourself with choices. Just stick to those for now.

2. How to approach

At a coffee shop, buy your drink and go sit at her table. At a park, go stand/sit beside her.

No excuse/reason needed. Just physically move your body there.

3. What to say

"Hey, this is a bit forward of me. I wanted to come talk to you because I think you're cute."

This is how you introduce yourself. No beating around the bush. If she's busy or has a boyfriend, she'll likely tell you straight away. Say goodbye and move on.

4. How to hold conversation

Stick with this formula:

Ask factual question
Listen
Ask emotional question
Listen
Relate

Factual question is a question designed to find out a fact about her. Emotional question is designed to find out what her opinions/feelings are about that fact. Relating is to relate to her opinions/feelings with your own.

Example:

"So what do you do, studying or working?"

"What do you study? I'm guessing something to do with accounting."

"Oh, respiratory therapy. I was way off. What do you like most about it?"

"Nice. I'm a carpenter, and I got into that because ..."

5. Closing

"I think you're quite nice. I want to take you on a date. Let me get your number."

No bullshit, no beating around the bush. Just state your intentions. Bonus points for setting up a day, time and place right then to solidify a plan.

And there you have it. Give this a whirl a couple of times and let me know how it goes. I did this myself during my lunch breaks at work, and got myself dates within the month.

DuckDaSneeze · 2016-12-04T10:06:52+00:00

Take coaching.

The problem is not that the advice is bad, the problem is that you don't know which advice to apply. You need someone who's job it is to give you the right advice at the right time.

Also, a lot gets "lost in translation". When I took coaching for the first time, I noticed that my own prejudices and bias made me interpret online advice completely differently then it was ment. A coach can correct you an prevent you from doing stupid stuff.

I had been reading 9+ years about seduction before I took coaching. Didn't really get me anywhere. I got really fast within the top 5% of club game. Since I now want to improve my conversational skills and some "inner game" on how to deal with my insecurities, I'm going to take coaching as well. Because not any advice on the internet can replace good coaching.

What to look for in coach: 1. Can do what he teaches. Don't take "one night stand coaching" from a guy who is married with kids. Don't get a "make-over" from someone who looks like a bum. 2. The ratio price / experience seems ok. I have taken coaching with people who were very good in pickup, but not that experienced in coaching. The only reason I don't regret it, is because it was cheap. On the other hand, I also took higher priced coaching with someone who had been coaching for years. I was not disappointed. 3. Use word of mouth. Don't look at who has the coolest video or best reputation online, but who has coached the most people in your town whos improvement you have seen and want for yourself as well. 4. Should be an up and comer. It may sound cool to blow $5000 on a 2-day infield seminar, but because of the high prices those coaches rarely get in the field (only when they get a client who can afford their ridiculous rates). 5. Speaks your language. A lot of time gets wasted if you don't listen or ask a bunch of questions, instead of saying "this is my goal" and then applying his advice until you have reached it.

Online advice can provide support, but I just don't know anyone who is really good who did it purely with online advice. It most of the time comes down to:

Having wings better then himself.
Professional coaching.
A relentless desire to learn.

Last but not least: if you are still a virgin after spending so much time learning about seduction, the above applies ten-fold. You need coaching - because you have been trying to do it yourself and you have no women in your life. I'm glad you feel like you improved, but the actual results don't fit your inner experience. I believe it's time to take your losses and place investments in the right coaching, if you actually want a relationship, friends with benefits or one night stands instead of a warm fuzzy feeling due to reading about self-improvement.

sharp7 · 2016-12-04T15:30:10+00:00

Imagine instead of girls you were talking about any multiplayer video game. You dont need an in-depth guide. Just play the fucking game. You'll lose a ton in the beginning, but you dont actually lose anything. These should be random people you will never see again.

Just think of it as a video game and relax.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2016-12-04T16:09:47+00:00

"Just go out and talk to women"

This is literally the most basic of beginner advice. You're not going to get anywhere until you start to overcome your approach anxiety.

So seriously... Go talk to women. Anywhere, about anything. Just practice having conversations with vagina-owners. When you're comfortable with that, come back and we'll tell you about flirting and Kino.

The conversation ends immediately after "Hi". You'll think "fuck...someone please just give me something to say".

The problem is that you're trying to say something good. There are plenty of thoughts swirling through your mind in those moments; they just happen to be thoughts that you tend to keep to yourself. Stop doing that.

You can literally say anything, including "I can't think of anything to say." Repeat whatever you said to the last person you talked to. Tell her what you had for lunch. Ask her if she likes pokemon. ANYTHING!

With practice, you'll start saying things that make for better conversation, but for now you just need to pop your cherry and get the ball rolling.

hardly_incognito · 2016-12-04T10:30:02+00:00

This post is full of excuses. I'm 22 and feel as if I have far greater knowledge of life than you do. Then again I don't make excuses and say "I can't do it!" I mean where do you live man? The middle of bumfuck nowhere? If so then ya, maybe this post makes sense and there literally are no girls nearby for you to fuck.

Anyways, keep up your mentality and you can enjoy another 30 years of self pity and ineptitude. You need to fucking take action. You don't need anymore advice, you're 30 years old. You're a man now, nobody is going to hold your hand and take you to all the pretty single babes or save you if.. OMG! You get into an awkward scenario with a woman. Christ.

I know I'm coming off as rude, but you need it. You've heard it all. What are you expecting? A magic word like alakazam and suddenly you're slaying pussy left and right?

Big_TX · 2016-12-04T07:36:49+00:00

where to meet women:

The best places are bars and clubs. If you have friends or acquaintances who you can go with that makes it a lot more fun. You could also try joining an RSD Inner circle or a lair to meat people. you can also meet people at festivals and concerts and you can also try to meet girls while shopping. (christmas time is one of the best times for this. lots of people are out shopping by themselves. You can ask what they think of various things you are considering to buy as an opener.

you can join things and become a part of them and meet girls there. you can go on meetup.com and attend meet ups regularly. you can go to concerts and art shows and festivals.

How to hold conversations (the basis of game):

To get this skill you need to practice frequently. Try to socialize at least 6 days a week. even if it is just with your friends. it lets you build social momentum. and practice your conversation skills. talk to strangers you see in your day to day life. strike up conversations with people you aren't close with at work. take a class and talk to your classmates.

there are various resources that can help further. Id recomend watching both of RSDTodd's videos, Both of RSDJulien's videos one of RSDTyler's video's and AlexSocial's video on it. they are all great and teach different things.

my last tip on the matter is to try to do stuff with your life, try to make memories. learn about interesting things, when you watch something analyze why you like it or don't like it. doing those things will give you more content to talk about.

Flirting (what creates chemistry and the "spark"):

This is probably the most important skill. and it will help immensely with making conversation as well.

its mainly a vibe. once you establish it it makes everything so much easer and escalating natural. Thats how people get quick makeouts. They having this vibe, then coming from that place they flirt with the girl then go for it.

there are mechanical things you can do to build this vibe. (like making jokes. push pull. take aways. cocky funny humor, misinterpretation, conspiracy, teasing, compliments, role plays, joking.

I recomend watching infield footage and mainly pay attention to the vibe. that is the most important thing (at this point). It should help you see how the techniques are used and how flirty conversations go.

if that is not enough try working in some techniques. if you see something in a video you really liked try that and see how your interactions go.

final note, you by no means do you need to employ all the techniques. And you don't necessarily need them to build the vibe. sometimes you will have the vibe naturally. or if you are in a club, if you built up the vibe in a previous reaction you will have it when you take it to your next interaction.

lastly its important to know that not all girls know how to flirt so if sometimes it doesn't work it doesn't necessarily mean you are doing something wrong. secondly not all people are sopped to have chemistry with each other.

and that sometimes people just don't want to talk or they are horrible at conversation. just keep that in mind.

Good luck i hope that helps! and let me know if you have any questions

dmoney2332 · 2016-12-04T05:25:36+00:00

The first thing you gotta do is stop making excuses...The second thing you gotta do is realize. Realize that there's beautiful women everywhere that always want to be swept off their feet. Your hiding behind the fear of rejection.

zomgitsduke · 2016-12-04T11:47:02+00:00

We can't give play by play advice because we don't know how your conversation will go after saying hello.

Get out there and fail. This isn't some internet tutorial that lists 32 steps go getting a guaranteed girlfriend.

Try to talk to women, get feedback, come back here, study the advice again, and get back out there.

We all got the same advice as you and many of us have made it work. You must fail before you figure out this stuff.

_troubled_ · 2016-12-04T14:25:58+00:00

Here's some advice. Talk to everyone, not just "attractive single women." What is even an attractive single woman? You're putting an attractive and single label on every woman you see. Do some self introspection and look at yourself from a worldly view. Get some mental help if you need it. Fuck dude

DaygameCoach · 2016-12-04T17:14:01+00:00

There are answers to all these questions in the board and on the internet in general. A lot of getting better at things is researching them. That includes researching venues in your city (you didnt even tell us where you are).

A few tips:

As You know, you have self-limiting beliefs. If you think advice is unactionable, it is. If you think you have nothing to discuss, you don't. If you think "never ever anywhere that has attractive single women around" ... then that is true for you (even if you live in a city). If you think you are not smooth, you aren't.
If you seek new experiences, research your city for them and then go out A LOT (which you should be doing anyway).
Read all the sidebar help and then apply it. This includes approach anxiety.
More specific advice is dependent on who you are and the questions you ask...so keep that in mind when you post. This includes posting that you don't know where to go and want specific advice...but not stating where you live.
As far as things to discuss, try food, travel, fashion, pets, chick flicks/tv, adventure sports, identity (for some people this includes music, travel, food, fitness, etc.). Food and travel work well for me. You can also develop hobbies and interests and take improv classes.

Cuisine, Daygamer.net

IntrovertedBadass · 2016-12-04T18:55:28+00:00

I have a 3 hour long “free” webinar on how to get dates, with the “exact” things to do and say. And step by by step instructions on how to get her number and what to text and how to build confidence. But it's not for everyone. it's made especially for introverted men. would you like the registration link?

TheBetterManZA · 2016-12-04T21:40:44+00:00

Too much advice here assumes you're starting in the "middle". It doesn't provide specific-enough instructions. And for many guys, we just don't know where to start. What seems trivial to some of you, is just confusing to many of us.

Honestly, if you are basically at 0, my best advice to you is to get a job (part time if necessary) in a retail/service industry. Anything that puts you in front of people! I used to be shy as hell, but have worked as an assistant in an Internet cafe, then multiple book stores, and even taught people around my age for a year.

I live in a country where you basically never approach strangers randomly in the street. Very rarely you will see it in a store of some sort. Just so you guys have some context.

TheXXL · 2016-12-05T10:29:43+00:00

Yet here I am, another lonely virgin in his 30s, sitting around on a Saturday night, wondering what the fuck I should actually do with myself tonight.

This is a problem with not using your imagination and being scared of doing new things. Imagine, you step out of your apartment and start to look around. Does it guarantee that you will have a blast? Does it guarantee that you will be satisfied? no. And there is another problem... you are feeling entitled to something without having to do the work.

"Just go out and talk to women" Is not advice. And neither are

It is. The problem is you think you are entitled to anything without doing the work.

"Just be X" "Just feel like Y"

It is also a advice, but i have to admit it is necessary to use your brain to formulate the question: "How can i achieve that?"

If I were starving to death, it would be great advice to tell me to "Make money and buy food". But if I never had a job, an education or any knowledge of the actual procedures and places and people I need in order to find and get an actual job, the aforementioned advice is useless.

Yes, sure, then you would remove yourself out of the gene pool which is called evolution, which would be a great thing to make humanity stronger in the long run. But to be honest, your example is totally stupid. Let me tell you why: If you are hungry, your instincts will kick in and you will take care of that need before all others. It would not mean you are fucked because you don't know where to get a job, since you would simply try everything to get the necessary information.

Too much advice here assumes you're starting in the "middle".

That's one way to see it, but to be honest, it assumes you are not that lazy stupid fuck that feels everything has to be spoonfed to you.

It doesn't provide specific-enough instructions.

For what? How to move your feet to make step by step to move forward to a certain destination? Or, step by step instructions on how to make a girl want to suck your dick? Haven't you heard by now that people are not working that way? We all have our own set of skills, experiences, knowledge, needs, likes, dislikes... So what you are asking for cannot exist! You always have to use your brain. It's like school. There is no one size fits all solution.

And for many guys, we just don't know where to start. What seems trivial to some of you, is just confusing to many of us.

Of course it is confusing, it is for everyone. This is why you try things out. This is why you read things until you get a rough understanding of what is there. Do you think a person who studies quantum physics knows how it works from the start? No. It's a learning process with many failures.

Personally, my problem is that I literally do not know where to go when I step out my door.

I tell you a step by step method to get to know where to go. Step out of the door. Turn your head left, look at what you see. Turn it right, look at what you see. Can you go right? go right. Go as far as you can. While doing that, look around and process what your eyes capture. See anything you find interesting? yes? get closer and take a look. Do this whenever you can. In time you will develop interests. Whit these interests you will be able to decide which interest to prioritize and then seek out opportunities to follow up with those interests. Problem solved. Of course, this method assumes you actually want to change something. That you actually want to put in the work and are able to try new things without telling yourself beforehand that you don't like it.

If I could just have 10 minutes with some girl and a topic to discuss, I feel like I might be able to suppress my limiting thoughts and be confident etc etc. Yet none of that matters because there is never ever anywhere that has attractive single women around. I can't help but think "fuck...someone please just tell me somewhere to go"

See your problem here? Again you show that you don't want to put in the work. You are a lazy fuck. Sorry mate. You have to work your way up, like everyone else. Become interesting then women will follow.

If you're a guy that is around women, you might not have a thing to discus, ever. And you'll also look at all this advice as nonsense. "Just say anything" isn't advice.

When you are a guy who is around women you have fucking did the work! Simply accept that.

It sounds fine when you're already a smooth son of a bitch. But you're not, yet. The conversation ends immediately after "Hi". You'll think "fuck...someone please just give me something to say".

And so on.

Yeah, and guess what? This doesn't come from bitching around on the Internet feeling entitled to anything. Itcomes with work, experience and lots of failures. If i had time i would tell you some stories of stupid conversations i had with women...

It feels like all of this advice prepares you to take a journey of a thousand light-years. But it still never tells you what direction to walk.

Do you need directions on how to take a shit? You want someone to wipe your ass? Start thinking for yourself, make mistakes, use your brain ant think for yourself already.

Like many of us, I'm an adult. I have an extensive education. I have a good job. I have money. I have time. I have some friends. I work out. I dress well. I seek new experiences when I can. I learn and improve.

So... why are you whining then? You are perfectly fine, and should be able to easily follow any advice someone gives you, i don't see where your problem is.

Nothing I am matters if, when I step out of my door, I don't know whether to go right or left.

Again... how about you start making decisions by yourself? How about making mistakes? How about stop thinking you will get everything for free? How about realizing that you are not perfect, and will never be?

Isn't there any specific, actionable advice around?

Yes. Turn right when you leave the house and start actively looking around to see the real world, with an open mind. You might be surprised at what you find.

Jacob_961 · 2016-12-04T07:23:57+00:00

I have an extensive education. I have a good job. I have money. I have time. I have some friends. I work out. I dress well. I seek new experiences when I can. I learn and improve.

This. I believe.

I'm an adult.

This. I don't believe.

Yet none of that matters because there is never ever anywhere that has attractive single women around.

Age doesn't make you an adult. Your capacity and willingness to take responsibility for yourself and the direction of your life is what makes you an adult. It's not difficult to guess that you have man child tendencies, at least around women, because 90% of what you wrote puts blame on circumstances. Either, no one told you how to behave or you are broken is some way, all of which points down to that you think you are a weak and incapable human being on some level and that you cannot succeed without help from others. So when you think you are not enough and act week, people will perceive you as weak. What woman wants a weak guy? No girl. Maybe a couple of dominant girls, but I doubt you want to be with a dominatrix girl. So you just shot yourself in the leg.

So what do you need to do? Honestly, nothing. You got a good job, money, you work out, well educated. You don't have anything missing. You just think that you do, that is why you act needy. A king who acts like a beggar is perceived as a beggar. Don't read any books, take advice from anyone. Burn all your books, delete all your ebooks, seminars. Sit dows alone and think about what you need to do. The problem is that you don't trust yourself and want help from outside. So action steps:

Don't read any self help, pick up material. Just burn them, no one should tell you how to live your life.
Sit down and right down what you truly think the woman of your dreams wants. Not the low-self esteem fat chick, the gorgeous one that you would settle for.
You want they key to life? This is it. Everything and everyone has a price. People have a price the same way houses have prices. The price people have is their expectations. To buy a house, you need a million dollars, if you pay the price, the house is yours. You can have the money but no one will give you a free house just because you have money, you need to pay the landlord. Every woman has a price, her price is in the form of her expectations from you. The things that you wrote of what the woman of your dreams wants is her price. If you are not willing to pay than you are a cheat, you want to get a free house, you are basically a crook. Real men are willing to pay any price to get what they want and once you stop thinking you are not enough, you won't have women problems anymore. If you think you are a beggar, you will behave like a beggar. Last time I checked, beggars can't pay for anything. You have to think and act like a king and I mean really behave like one. The king needs no validation, he is the king, so he can behave like a normal human being. You got it?

Title	Most of this knowledge seems virtually impossible to use in practice.
Author	vertical_bird_device
Upvotes	48
Comments	50
Date	December 4, 2016 4:40 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5gdt6k/most_of_this_knowledge_seems_virtually_impossible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/most-of-this-knowledge-seems-virtually-impossible.1416514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1416514

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