I remember loving a women for many years that rejected me, so I worked hard on my physical apparence and my career because I was seeking vengeance by making her regretting that she could have been with a successful man. However it doesn’t matter anymore. The same cycle repeated itself with another women years later which led me go through the same pattern. I am just tired of it, I hate that feeling, I just want to be happy by evolving for my own good. I get many compliments from many women but I don’t want to get emotionally involved with anyone.

I know it’s sounds sensitive but my past experiences left me with pretty intense trauma.

Edit: thanks everyone, past should be the past, no complaining anymore.