The Obsession with Getting Laid...

Trygle · 2013-04-09T06:18:33+00:00

Funnily enough, once I started getting better at this whole seduction thing I stopped caring so much about whether or not I got laid.

I originally got into this whole game for the sole purpose of getting laid more consistently.

Odd how that works.

GrantW01 · 2013-04-09T08:30:52+00:00

For myself the fixation on sex is because I'm still a virgin at 22, and I've tried to push sex to the side of my priorities and just 'let it happen' but it doesn't really help. I feel that once my virginity is gone, the immediate fixation will disappear so I can finally get on with my life. Any other virgins among this community will probably know what I'm talking about, that sensation of waiting to move on with your life. But until then unfortunately, not a day goes by where my virginity and sex pops into my mind.

fathobie · 2013-04-09T05:35:51+00:00

"It all depends on what the guy wanted, the guy who is happiest defines what he wants and goes after it."

I love this line. In the end it's up to the person to decide what he wants to do with the skills and information that he's learned from seduction and game. Some use to find the one girl that they want to marry, others to improve their current relationships with their girlfriend or wife, others use it with the intentions of going out and getting laid.

No one ever said that the goal of learning seduction was to get laid as much as you can, it's up to he individual to decide what their priorities are.

fathobie · 2013-04-09T00:26:06+00:00

I take your point, but I don't think there's much of an obsession with numbers here. I think there's possibly an overemphasis on getting sex on the same day you meet someone, but I don't see people generally espousing the idea that sex will make your life fulfilling. In fact, most of what I see here focuses on improving the quality of your social life regardless of whether you get laid or not. Of course most men value sex, but anyone with half a brain and even modest sexual experience knows that it's not going to 'complete' them. It's more the case that sex can be a normal and enjoyable part of life for a happy, socially active individual.

Personally, I agree with you on the preoccupation with 'going out', meaning hitting bars and clubs for cold approach, but that's really a personal preference. I'm not here because I'm particularly interested in that, but there's still a lot of material of value for someone like me who already has lots of opportunities to meet women through my social circle, hobbies and studies, and feels comfortable socially, but needs help on how to indicate my interest and generate and capitalise on attraction. There's a lot more depth here than "Here are some tricks to help you get a one night stand with a stranger."

TofuTofu · 2013-04-09T13:03:59+00:00

I agree with the spirit of this post, but if you aren't getting laid you will not be successful in pickup. That's just the truth of it. The ability to sexually seduce a woman gives you access to more long-term relationship prospects, so if you want to "fall in love" learning how to get laid is part and parcel to "finding the one and keeping her."

This whole thing reads like a justification for a man who is sexually frustrated.

This1TimeBackinNam · 2013-04-09T06:43:02+00:00

I get laid plenty these days and personally I am happy. It's a bit stressful at times, as you mentioned, but to me that is fun. I like playing the game. Am I happier than the times I have been in love? I don't really know, maybe and maybe not. There are advantages to both. In fact I'm plenty happy doing both. But I generally do feel happier and more satisfied when I'm having a lot of sex, be it in a relationship or racking up numbers. At this stage I just prefer to meet a lot of women and have fun with all of them. They are all different and bring out a different response in me, and that is fun and interesting right now. Eventually I'll slow down, but right now I am 100% happy and content as I am.

To the same point, I do read and comment every now about PUA in general, but at no point do i feel the need to brag about my accomplishments, post FR's, etc to anyone but my very close friends, especially not on the internet. I just do it because it makes me happy.

2013-04-12T08:24:38+00:00

I agree with the OP on one aspect of his post but on another I strongly disagree.

I disagree because even when I have regular and consistent sex in my life, it has remained an extremely important thing for me. I find that sex is one of the most important things in life, at least in my case, because it allows me to fully live in the moment. I can escape worrying about the past and future and appreciate the "now" like almost nothing else. It also allows for connection with another person in a way that is quite unique. It is exciting and fulfilling to me like almost nothing else that I can think of. Sex is not everything in life but the passion one can achieve through deeply intimate sex is an experience that one simply can't make excuses for not trying to achieve.

On the other hand, I agree with the post about the number of women a guy has slept with. Numbers for the sake of themselves,after a certain point, are basically irrelevant. My drive now is not to add notches to my belt but to continue to learn about women and experience deep and passion filled experiences. This means being with women that I actually have a connection with and am interested it. One needs a variety of experiences to really know whats best. However, sleeping with 100 more women while drunk, that you don't care about, isn't going to improve you or your life very much.

Sex can be pretty valueless especially as you have many other experiences to compare with. It can also be like the best, most addictive drug you can imagine, to a point where nothing else exists or matters at that moment.

RedSeddit · 2013-04-09T07:35:24+00:00

Our job here is to help people gain the ability to seduce and get laid by posting stories and encouraging one another. What they do afterward is their business.

maestroni · 2013-04-09T06:58:12+00:00

This subreddit is driven by a lot of guys who are focused on sex and not love. That means a lot of the advice here is of limited value to the many young visitors here who are just trying to learn to be successful at dating.

As someone whose goal was always to fall in love and find a good relationship, a lot of the PUA advice seems laughable to me. But some of it would have been useful back in my short-term relationship and dating days. I hope everyone realizes that the whole PUA thing is built for another goal - getting laid and one night stands.

Edit: To respond to other commenters: There is a different game you play if you are looking for a relationship. For example, this subreddit has a fascination with having sex on a first date. It also places an emphasis on meeting women while out at bars and similar places. Those tactics may get you in a short-term relationship, but they won't necessarily help you find a quality woman with whom you connect.

I think the problem is not with this subreddit, which I think was created specifically for PUA stuff, the problem is with the fact that so many guys here are actually looking for long-term relationships. That game is played differently. And the various "gurus" on this site do not seem particularly interested in playing that game. If they did, they would be in a long-term relationship and wouldn't be dating anymore.

TheDoctorCoach · 2013-04-09T12:16:41+00:00

Everybody has their own values. If one guy values having sex with many women, who's to say he's wrong? If another guy values not having sex with many women, that's his business too.

This guy doesn't like guys talking about what they value so he tells them to accept his values? I think he could have said a lot more with simply "Live and let live," which he didn't himself practice when he tells others what they should and shouldn't do.

So it reads to me like "The lady doth protest too much, methinks".

Trosso · 2013-04-10T17:35:04+00:00

if i couldnt get laid id kill myself.

whomeverIwishtobe · 2013-04-13T05:56:53+00:00

I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with sex but I definitely see it as a need but people who have frequent orgasms are healthier so it's a good thing if you ask me, sex is healthy.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2013-04-09T13:41:18+00:00

If you measure your success by how often you get laid, that's because deep down inside you believe that you don't deserve to get laid. So your "success" consists of acquiring something that you previously couldn't get. But if you really do believe you deserve to have sex, then getting laid isn't a measure of anything.

Girls and guys both love having sex. It's our natural disposition. We're all a bunch of horny primates and we all really enjoy gettin' it on. You deserve to have sex with a hot girl just as much as she deserves to have sex with you.

This whole notion that guys have to conquer girls to get sex is a byproduct of the popular false belief that girls don't like it and don't want it. Once you get over that, "getting laid" loses a lot of its mystique.

exophrine · 2013-04-09T13:52:43+00:00

As a guy, I never understood the overemphasis that some other guys have with having sex. I always chalked it up to it being the residual be-all, end-all feeling from their virgin days. Now I can understand a guy wanting to keep doing it once they've started, but now that you've achieved that beginning, you also have to mature and grow as a person at least a little bit and set your goals higher. Move onto more, bigger, better sexual challenges and get more out of it; like any skill, you should move up, at least I'd hope you would.

"Doesn't matter, had sex" has to be the epitome of sexual male stupidity. Yeah, you did have sex...so what? It's not much of a victory if you join the sexual/reproductive ranks of dogs and gerbils.

itsmevichet · 2013-04-09T19:45:45+00:00

I always say that sex is like food - you only notice when you're not getting enough of it.

Michael_Cassio · 2013-04-09T12:57:13+00:00

I think it's funny how guys try to come here and say "Guys you're really better than this!"

That's not the point of this community.

Not only that, we don't want to be saved. The thought that you're better than any of us is not only insulting to us, but damaging to your growth as a man.

The article poses a decent point. Sex isn't the only goal. The seduction community is a glorified self help community.

On that token, however, one must remember that success in this community is measured by the opposite sex.

The hardest process in the world is getting a girl from meet to sex... Generally. Assuming you're not paying her or forcing her.

Meeting a girl and convincing her you are SO awesome that 10 minutes/7 hours from now she should be fucking you is an INCREDIBLY difficult task.

First of all, we already know that attractive habits = getting girls. We already know that coming off as unrehearsed/being "natural" completely beat sounding like a robot. We know that the guy getting laid like a rockstar isn't necessarily as happy as a rockstar.

But you guys need to understand that people preaching this shit are either trying to hurt your game or sell you something.

The fact of the matter is this. If you read any single part of this paragraph, it's this: Getting laid won't make you happy. It won't. It does succeed in one thing however. Measuring success. We all want to become better people. We believe we aren't great because we have failed with the opposite sex. Or at the very least we don't think we're achieving our full potential. Either way, how do you know you're improving in either pursuit? Sex. Once you're getting tons of it, how do you know you're getting better? You're getting tons of it faster.

So sex won't make you happy. But it's a damn good sign that you're on the road to happiness.

imMatt19 · 2013-04-09T15:08:26+00:00

My fixation on sex has diminished so much it is crazy. I came to college a social idiot who hadn't even kissed a girl in his life. Here I am 6 months later with a girlfriend who is falling in love with me, who tells me she will give it up once I say those magic three words. Suddenly, sex isn't such a big deal to me, because I know that I have the ability to make it happen. All of my friends are like "Dude, what happened to you? You seem much less anxious now." I tell them that I CAN get girls now.

RonnieLibra · 2013-04-09T22:48:25+00:00

this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2013 176 points (79% like it) 235 up votes 59 down votes

Proves that 79% of the guys that voted on this thread are not having sex or if they are, settling for "low hanging fruit" not abundance.

Or rather 235 guys are not having sex etc.

Go figure.

Not that there's anything wrong with that (if guys are seriously trying to improve themselves), but posts like this are hijacking guys and taking them off the right path.

All because some guy wants to feel like other people shouldn't succeed where he is failing. I get this is a repost but I can promise the Original Author is not having much sex in his life.

_Molon_Labe_ · 2013-04-09T11:28:31+00:00

Do you think guy A who has fucked 1000 girls is happier then guy B with a wife, 2 kids, and a dog?

Do you think guy A who makes $2million [or even $150k] is happier than guy B who works at McDonalds?

Do you think guy A who works out everyday is happier than guy B who is a fat fuck?

Do you think guy A who takes the time to cook and eat exquisite meals every day [or get some sexy thing to do it for him] is happier than guy B who eats lean quisine and hot pockets?

...

Fucking yes, absolutely.

RonnieLibra · 2013-04-09T20:13:20+00:00

Jesus. The way of the community has gone down hill since it's inception.

IT IS ABOUT GETTING LAID.

Title	The Obsession with Getting Laid...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	186
Comments	74
Date	April 8, 2013 11:50 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1byc2a/the_obsession_with_getting_laid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-obsession-with-getting-laid.1350226 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350226

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