I’ve had some ideas floating around in my head for a while that I’d like to share, namely about owning up to and being comfortable in your own personality whatever it may be. In my case, and I’m sure in the case of many other redditors, I am more introverted. (For those who aren’t familiar with Introversion/Extraversion, here is pretty good explanation)

With terms like “alpha” and “life of the party” being thrown around, some might be inclined to believe that this means they have to adopt a completely different persona to be attractive. This is not the case at all, and I’ve had tremendous success being my natural, introverted self while still being extremely confident.

Body Language
This has absolutely been the most important key in my experience. Body language is such an incredibly powerful form of communication and most people aren’t consciously aware of it. You don’t have to say a damn word to communicate your interest in a girl, just show it. Eye contact is especially important. Make a habit out of holding the shit out of eye contact with someone. Accompany it with a playful, slight smirk. Take up space. Be comfortable. Keep your head up and don’t look at the ground. Let girls catch you checking them out and don’t be apologetic or embarrassed about it.

Listening and Being Attentive
Being an introvert, I’ve always felt more natural in one-on-one conversations or in small groups. In situations that are more intimate, listen intently to everything that is being said. I always try to get the other person to do most of the talking, while still being genuinely interested. Give them your full attention and don’t try to think about what to say next. Lose yourself in her eyes while she’s talking; fall between the spaces between her words. People talk because they want to be heard.

Being Concise
(ironic because this is turning into a novel) Less is more. If you have something to say, you’re going to say it assertively in a deep, clear voice. If you don’t have anything to say, you don’t say anything because you don’t feel the need to pull something out of your ass. Get rid of filler words like “um” and “uh”, don’t stutter, and get right to the point. Let other guys try to shout over each other to get a girl’s attention while you sit back and give a flirty look in her direction. You are completely comfortable with not always talking, but this isn’t an excuse not to say anything. Remember, when you have something to say, you’ll say it.

Quiet Confidence
If you’re naturally more laid-back and contemplative, own up to that and be comfortable with it. If you try to put on a show and be the center of attention, girls will sense that you aren’t secure with simply being yourself. In my experience, that combination of quiet confidence and not feeling the need to prove your worth to anyone around you drives girls crazy – they’ll really start qualifying themselves to you. They’ll start becoming more and more interested in your mystique and wonder why you aren’t trying to win their attention. They’re going to be curious about you because you don’t talk much about yourself or brag. Embrace your introversion; being able to enjoy your own company and be confident while being alone shows a strong independence that is very attractive.