This Is Why You Get Ghosted & Ignored

julix23 · 2018-09-30T09:14:14+00:00

I cringe at people talking about alpha and beta males

BigDickEnergy123 · 2018-09-30T06:24:28+00:00

So pretty much you're post is about treating her like a person and not just complimenting her to get something in return. Because, let's be honest, most guys who say shit like that truly are just being nice hoping she'll like him back which in reality isn't nice at all.

In other words, the "bad boy" you described is actually nicer than the other people, because deep down "nice guys" aren't actually nice. Plus, he knows how to have fun.

I may be wrong, but I'm getting that vibe from your post. Am I wrong to assume this? I'm just genuinely curious about people's opinion on my analysis who's actually the real nice guy in this situation.

notthatinnocent24 · 2018-09-30T09:18:12+00:00

As a woman I totally agree. Just be careful not to turn it into an insecurity or negging thing. Identify what she wants and needs and full that, don’t create problems or focus too much on them. But you can do it positively. “Sounds like you need ana adventure.””sometimes it’s good to have someone to talk to at 2am you know?” Or “yeah I’m a black belt, I can show you some moves - maybe then you could kick my arse” etc

prettyheartbreak · 2018-09-30T05:53:39+00:00

This Is It Chief

LemonIcedTeaArizona · 2018-09-30T06:52:35+00:00

Good advice in general, but...

The problem is that the hypothetical "perfect 10" you mention, for example, isn't necessarily going to straight up tell you what her lack is. Furthermore, most people don't even know their own lack. They just feel an inward void they need to fill without really thinking about why and the dynamics of it.

The girl that goes for the asshole isn't going to say, "Hey, I need you to be a jerk because I had a horrible father growing up and kinda want to identify you with him. Can you do that? Thanks."

Raikkonen716 · 2018-09-30T12:30:37+00:00

I think the problem that a lot of guys have (including me) is that we just struggle to find that point of equilibrium between saying a joke with a smirk and sounding rude and offensive.

PM_YOUR_MUMS_NUDES · 2018-09-30T08:36:45+00:00

I think you made me understand why certain girls like me even if I can say with confidence, that I'm not their type (not on scale from 1 to 10, but more like different lifes with different values) or they're "out of my league".

It's because I have strong opinions and I'm not afraid to challenge their views even if their opinion of me could change in a bad way. But I provide something noone else has balls to.

It's kinda like, you can be bad at marketing (pua) if you are a rare supply for a big demand, you can still ask for a high price.

CoolAssCoder · 2018-09-30T08:46:23+00:00

This is great stuff but i have a question. So you have discovered her "lack" but how do you go about showing her that just you can fill the gap?

I imagine me being pretty good at identifying the lack don't knowing what to do with this information.

fkch · 2018-09-30T10:57:58+00:00

You're either going to be compatible or you're not. Just be you and don't have any kind of motive. Don't go in with the mindset of "winning." Just be you and don't put up a front.

xynaxia · 2018-09-30T09:06:02+00:00

Well yeah. Being a nice guy, is like being a restaurants advertising the food doesn't make you sick.

deadlinetoday · 2018-09-30T09:28:03+00:00

Im pretty sure this works outside of a romantic contexts too, outside of seduction but still in friendships and the like. And in romantic context im sure this works as a woman on guys too.

very_crazy_idiot · 2018-09-30T22:24:58+00:00

I'd also add that if you can't find a girl to lack anything, try to see her potential. So if you mentally move the goalpost, something she already has will become lacking.

aaaazxnkis · 2018-09-30T06:41:59+00:00

Wow sir, this is pretty good.

Quansten · 2018-09-30T16:25:37+00:00

hehe i can fill something else

pacg · 2018-09-30T20:26:48+00:00

Nice. I have a friend who just experienced this.

Although the understanding of Cupid’s arrow with which I’m familiar (from Joseph Campbell) is that he or she who has unleashed the arrow is the only one who can withdraw it from the target. It doesn’t create a void which needs to be filled. It inserts a longing which only one person can sate...which I guess still aligns with your purposes :)

fourthwallmotionless · 2018-09-30T23:42:33+00:00

First step... and I always say this all the time when giving unsolicited advice: NEVER PUT PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL! End of Arguement.

dkarm · 2018-09-30T13:29:22+00:00

Woman here... I’m not so sure these so-called “bad boys” are deliberately trying to exploit or actively looking for ways to do so. I think it’s just that, like me, they’re living their own life, and if you fit in, you fit in. They’re confident and not going to change unless given a good reason to do so. And having a sense of humor as you give in your example is always attractive. Also, it’s unexpected to say something like that instead of the usual cliches. Doing unexpected things keeps you on your toes. They’re also more likely to give a small, meaningful compliment than a bunch of effusive meaningless ones you hear all the time. It means more because it’s shows they’re observant and paying attention. It’s much more interesting and presents a challenge. And that’s really all there is to it.

PlayfulHooks · 2018-09-30T10:59:05+00:00

Surprisjngly great advice and insight

antimorphoid · 2018-09-30T15:54:53+00:00

Personality doesn’t matter. Female sexuality is simple, they only want chad. If they see your GENETICS are really good, they think you’re sexy, otherwise you’re an asexual being. It’s over at conception. Swallow the blackpill.

PizzaNuggies · 2018-09-30T16:38:18+00:00

Just be you. The problem with the "nice guy" is it's fake and everyone knows it.

BonvivantNamedDom · 2018-09-30T08:27:21+00:00

Sounds not great. Focusing on her problems and be a negative guy. (Even if you pack it with a smile)

fourthwallmotionless · 2018-09-30T23:58:23+00:00

Dating girls around my age it's just too much hassle. The ones in their late 20's- 30s, they have such higher standards, they screen you inside and out like what kinda car do you drive, your job, if you have your own place, your social circle, etc. They know they are nearing that the wall and their biological clock is ticking and they are hunting for a provider to lock in.

NO3SCAPE · 2018-10-01T00:28:11+00:00

What about in my case?

I was talking to a grill for 4 weeks and man we were convinced that we were meant to be together.

I used to talk to a girl that works in the same ward as her 6 years ago.. we used to hang out but she liked me.. but back then I was oblivious and horrible with girls so I didnt know and well the conversation ended up dying out and then we never talked to each other again.

Anyways me and the girl I liked we ended up setting a date and I was gonna take her to an epic vegan restaurant(because shes vegan.. yes she told me haha) and then to the beach to talk and as I picked her up from the hospital.. that girl I used to talk to 6 years ago walked infront of my car and gave me a MASSIVE dirty.

Anyways my date ended up getting out of my car because she thought I was lying to her(I wasnt) and ended up going in her car.. anyways she did end up coming to see me.. like 2 hrs later. It seemed fine but I wanted to talk about why the fuck she deserted me for that bitch but she never gave me an answer.

The next day I saw her again and we hugged and it was nice and all but I asked her again and she said she would tell me when shes ready. So alright np.

I decided instead of asking her Ill wait for her to tell me then she ended up ghosting me and I never heard from her again.

How did it go south so badly and why did she ghost me? My mates reckon she either started talking to her ex(she broke up with him 1 week prior to meeting me) and got what she wanted from me or that bitch I used to speak to 6 years ago must have poisoned her mind too much and she decided I wasnt worth the effort. I cant help but feel like I must have fucked up because to be fair I was dying to know wtf was going through her mind when that bitch snaked her from me.. legit on the date she got out of my car.. didnt want to talk about it and hopped in her car, so I felt like I overcompensated and tried so hard to get the convo back to our original tempo which was like an 8/10 on the intensity scale and it dropped to like a 3/10 and it honestly made me paranoid as fuck. What do you guys think?

recyclablebanthas · 2018-10-01T05:00:07+00:00

1

You can’t seduce a woman if she is content. A woman is content when what you seem to offer: she either (1) has already or (2) can easily get somewhere else.

On one hand, it is true in the strictest sense that someone who is "content" with what they already have, will not be seduceable.

On the other hand, people in good relationships that have sufficient variety, excitement, and stability (or sex or whatever they value), can reach a state of contentment and be uninterested in someone new trying to get in there.

And this idea that being content is going to lead to her cutting the guy off, is not accurate. Contentment means satisfaction. If someone is satisfied, you're meeting what they want. So the thing that leads to being cut off is actually when she's NOT content with what's going on.

Discontent will start to build up when she wants something she isn't getting. Whether that's excitement, romance, stability, or whatever, depends on her own specific values.

2

For example, you hear guys talking about girls validating themselves with beta orbiters. This is basically her seeing if she’s content.

No one is going to validate themselves with someone they aren't interested in.

Orbiters aren't typically seeing a lot of girls wanting to validate themselves to the orbiters. It's the other way around: part of being an orbiter is that they're always trying to prove themselves to the girl: seeking validation from them.

A girl might certainly test the guy or push him a little to see what he's made of. And if he comes off try-hard, then that'll come off unattractive.

3

She leads a guy on just enough so he starts showing what he offers. When she sees it’s nothing more than what she can get from 100 other guys, she ignores him. She’s content already. This guy offers nothing more, new, or intriguing.

What's going on here is that two people show what they are, and they're either into it or they aren't.

It's not so much something we can always boil down into "girls want new," "girls want intriguing," or "girls want more." Each person has their own baggage and personal values that lead to whatever people they tend to attract or be attracted to.

Some girls are turned off by guys if all they have is "intrigue" or "novelty," if something else they value isn't there.

4

Here’s the problem with the approach of the beta orbiters. They are focusing on everything they can offer her without spending any time trying to identify what she lacks. What she’s insecure about. What she’s longing for. What’s creating a void in her life.

Aside from confidently putting oneself out there and paying attention to how she wants the escalation to progress, one shouldn't be trying to mold themselves to what any specific girl lacks or is insecure about.

This can certainly work to widen your appeal, but it involves changing who we are as people, which isn't sustainable or satisfying for anyone in the long run.

It's more about seeing if what she wants, is what you're comfortable offering or wanting to offer. Not about simply figuring out what that is, and offering it, no matter what it is.

McFlurry6 · 2018-10-02T05:27:49+00:00

OP if you don't mind, would you PM me what was posted here. I would like to re-read the post as it was well defined, explained and written.

Rondooooo · 2018-09-30T13:10:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Visualize_ · 2018-09-30T17:06:12+00:00

I always enjoy your content and this one is no different but I do think there is a stipulation to the whole filling the gap. If you are just looking to get laid then this method works great, but if you are looking to attract a girlfriend then the idea of filling in a gap becomes problematic if the thing you are trying to fill isn't currently in your own frame. You can fake whatever characteristic but sooner or later she will eventually see right through it. But I do see no problem in the scenario of something like if a girl's void is a lack of adventure but you currently are not the adventurous type but you start becoming more adventurous. I see no problem in that scenerio ONLY IF you are becoming adventurous under your own perogative and not just to attract the girl. So I guess that kind of goes back to how I think inner game/improvement of self is half the battle in seduction because all your efforts is like placing more and more tools in your toolshed. It's likely that a lot of times the traits you need to fill in a girl's void are pretty common stuff and with an expansive toolshed, you can confidently fill those gaps because its already in your frame

prabot · 2018-09-30T17:09:04+00:00

Couldn't be explained any better!! Thanks a lot

creamyturtle · 2018-09-30T17:39:46+00:00

you had me until you said check out my book

The_Chief_of_Keefs · 2018-09-30T17:41:43+00:00

Wow this is actually a fantastic bit of advice and totally explains the niche older men fill for younger girls.

Ysmir_ · 2018-09-30T14:26:09+00:00

R00BYD00 · 2018-09-30T15:18:29+00:00

Hella cringe

lovinlife1 · 2018-09-30T11:59:42+00:00

Wow...slow clap It's all tricks. It's all pick up lines, tricks..smoke and mirrors. I started following after the chance run in the other day. Thank you for the insight into knowing that nothing is ever genuine. It's better to know now and quit before I've gotten my heart ripped out of my chest. Keep up the good work!

SunsetValley21 · 2018-09-30T13:40:32+00:00

And every women, even the 10s, are lacking something.

Every women, especially the 10s are lacking something

Ell-Egyptoid · 2018-09-30T12:50:07+00:00

don't forget these:

https://i.imgur.com/OxhcO5n.jpg

brandondtodd · 2018-09-30T15:28:30+00:00

This honestly applies to guys also. I find myself getting bored very easily, even if things are going well, because its also going exactly as I predicted it would go.

This Is Why You Get Ghosted & Ignored

Comments

This Is It Chief

Bold And Large, Sarge!

Title	This Is Why You Get Ghosted & Ignored
Author	dailymanup
Upvotes	292
Comments	154
Date	September 30, 2018 4:17 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9k3dwr/this_is_why_you_get_ghosted_ignored/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/this-is-why-you-get-ghosted-ignored.1454213 https://theredarchive.com/post/1454213