Thoughts on lowering standards

bcktth · 2011-12-25T20:34:37+00:00

Honestly, you should be talking to everyone and anyone when looking to build your confidence and/or social skills. Forget about HB9's and 10's. More than likely you'll either fuck it up or not know how to transition past your opener.

Why would i say such a thing? Because you already did. So work on your inner game and learn that confidence is not something you wear on your chest only when you see an attractive girl. Confidence is something you wear 24/7 wither it's a HB1 or HB11.

ROCKSTARseduction · 2011-12-25T21:01:41+00:00

First and foremost you should just talk to everyone, whether you are attracted to them or not. It doesn't mean you have to pick them up but its a good way to get yourself socially lubricated.

You never who knows someone or what kind of connections you can make in the process. Don't ever underestimate the power of practicing either-whether it be on just opening or frame control or escalation; a lot of these things can only really be trained in-field. Also, this also helps with overall social status(direct or indirect).

geenomike · 2011-12-26T00:25:28+00:00

Standards are for people who aren't serious about getting laid.

chickenshitmchammers · 2011-12-26T03:41:38+00:00

Boner test.

If girl gives you a boner or would, sarge on.

This line is different for everyone.

koalainfestation · 2011-12-26T05:53:21+00:00

Yes yes yes a thousand times yes.

No it won't make you settle, unless that's what you were going to do anyway, just try going after someone you're only emotionally/intellectually attracted to, did this and ended up fucking someone I could not have been less physically attracted to (a solid 200 or 250 idk for sure, because she's pretty short), but learned how superficial I had been, and how stupid that was. She was a great lay and ended a three year dry spell that had destroyed my confidence and had started fucking with my worldview.

I ended up reconnecting with a friend who turned out to be the girl of my dreams next and I can really only attribute that to building up my confidence on and feeling the physical closeness to this quite large friend of mine. My SO and I have a complicated past involving her being with another former very close friend of mine, and I previously didn't think my intellectual attraction to her was enough, I thought she was just cute, that she wasn't hot enough to justify the totally huge hassle that I knew pursuing her would be. (The ego on this guy, right?)

Also, as an aside, I could not have been more surprised how hot my now SO was naked the first time I saw her in the buff, as my formerly close friend had always had nothing but bad things to say about her appearance and how he could do so much better, etc. And this had drastically distorted my view of her looks, because I am now with the most beautiful woman in the entire world(same girl), to me. (so watch out for outside opinions too)

Basically doing this restored what I thought was an entirely justified lack of belief in true romantic love. Otherwise I never could have landed the girl I'm with now who seriously rocks the shit out of my world.

I understand that there is an aspect of this that is very much a sort of using of another person, but from the beginning I explained to my large friend that this was strictly a FWB scenario, of course neglecting to mention that I had never been with a BBW before and was just really desperate for some sexual attention, because that's just mean and I really did then and do now like this girl, just not as more than a friend.

May not work for everyone but totally changed my life.

TL;DR: Did this and actually feel like it helped me grow as a person and ended up giving me the confidence to pursue someone else who turned out to be amazing, just don't be mean or dishonest.

mtg4l · 2011-12-25T23:42:53+00:00

I find that a girl's physical appearance just isn't as important to me. I'd rather hook up with a "4" that is fun, flirty, and can hold a conversation than a "10" that's full of herself or dumb as a doornail.

Part of me approaching women is me deciding if I want to have sex with them, not just convincing them to want to have sex with me.

ajcook921 · 2011-12-25T23:57:31+00:00

Just because you can't drive a Ferrari doesn't mean you have to walk.

rmbarnes · 2011-12-25T21:06:36+00:00

Do you mean women who are right at the bottom of the scale in terms of what you consider fuckable, or women who you're actually repulsed by? If it's the latter, then no. If it's the former, then go for it.

I've shagged at least one girl this year who was right at the bottom end of what I'd consider doable (HB5). I'm a big advocate of doing this, especially if you haven't gotten laid in a while. Too many guys get into this thinking only HB8+s are good enough for them, and they're deluding themselves. They just end up wanking it to internet porn.

This article by RooshV puts it better than I ever could:

http://www.rooshv.com/the-i-have-standards-excuse

Bletz · 2011-12-26T05:49:52+00:00

the lower your standards the more action you're gonna see. Simple as that.

Coz7 · 2011-12-25T23:20:12+00:00

I built confidence just fine with HB9s (almost no HB10s around). Like it has been said, talking to everyone and pushing your boundaries in general is the right way of building confidence.

However, when doing a sexual approaches, it's best to start with HB5s, because HB10's are less forgiving with errors, so you won't be able to move through all the stages, and therefore won't learn about the later ones.

Keep moving up the ladder, so that the experience is hard enough to teach you, but easy enough for you to advance to sex.

tyrannosaurus_dude · 2011-12-25T23:45:37+00:00

It's definitely good to get some practice throughout all the stages. You want to get a good grip on how to transition, defeat LMR, and all that, so you don't mess it up when you have hot girl home and so you feel more confident and comfortable that you can go all the way. That being said, stay congruent with yourself and what you want (don't date someone you'd be ashamed to date).

Personally also not a fan of leading girls on - if a girl makes it clear she ONLY wants an LTR and you only see her as a practice girl, I would find lying to her pretty unethical. I don't find this often comes up before you sleep with a girl, though.

2011-12-26T01:02:13+00:00

In my experience it will not. I still get anxiety around more attractive women but I seem to have no problem picking up less attractive ones (reason: total lack of caring, something I'm still trying to apply to the sexier girls). If you want to be comfortable talking to anyone and everyone, you gotta get out there and talk to anyone and everyone.

30vanquish · 2011-12-25T23:58:29+00:00

More confidence. At the worst: You're a story to the girl(s). "Whoa, some guy had the guts to talk to me, even if he was cool or creeper. At the best: Friends. Potentially introduce you to friend that you end up being attracted to.

You got your practice in for those HB8+ in all cases.

Level_75_Zapdos · 2011-12-25T23:08:05+00:00

Don't.

Ninpo · 2011-12-25T21:16:29+00:00

I dont know why but I have a hard time talking to girls I dont find attractive, and I'm several pounds overweight.

Thisisnotmywife · 2011-12-25T20:15:21+00:00

Why not just land a 10 and start building self esteem that way? You're awesome man. No one deserves it more than you. Don't ever settle on anything. You can always do better, so do it.

johnny878 · 2011-12-26T01:32:51+00:00

depends. If you are talking to fat girls, you probably wont gain any additional social skills that would be beneficial with hot girls.

but if you are just talking to girls that are slightly below what you would consider date materail looks wise, probably will help you with confidence and social skills.

PLplotsOTS · 2011-12-25T21:11:37+00:00

You'll learn more and feel better after 99 failures and 1 success with 10's than you would after 100 successes with 6's.

Edit: not sure if I agree with this. it's an oversimplification. oh well, food for thought.

Title	Thoughts on lowering standards
Author	yenners
Upvotes	58
Comments	49
Date	December 25, 2011 8:05 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/nqews/thoughts_on_lowering_standards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/thoughts-on-lowering-standards.1326158 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326158

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