What is confidence and how do I actually use it?

Gaydame · 2022-09-30T12:56:15+00:00

The most important thing I ever learned, many years ago.

Confidence is an action, not a character trait.

You act with confidence, you don't have it.

In your case this means talking to girls and dealing with, and learning from, the outcome.

atomant88 · 2022-09-30T13:12:53+00:00

Confidence is having self esteem even when you get rejected.

Confidence is being okay with being honest and genuine, and being okay with that getting you rejected

Confidence is not playing games or trying to be someone you're not

Confidence is no bullshit. Here I am, take me or leave me. If you cant see the good in me then you're blind. It's your loss. But I'm not changing for anyone. I'm proud of who I am

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-30T13:16:52+00:00

you're pretty much asked the question near the heart of these types of subs. guys feeling inadequate, looking to other men for instructions on how to man.

i'll go into detail soon but i hypothesize that if you act in accordance with you're identity and values, you will act with confidence.

appmanga · 2022-09-30T15:38:13+00:00

I still can’t bring myself to talk to a classmate or a pretty girl I see just sitting around. I don’t have prior experiences to draw confidence from to do it. My mind just overthinks and it causes me to just not say anything at all.

Likely because you're putting some grand strategy on just having a conversation. Until you get more tools in your toolbox don't make approaching girls about trying to pick them up; just make it about having a conversation. Learn to make small talk. Be curious and a good listener. Don't out pressure on yourself to be clever; you don't have to be. Learn how to talk about yourself in ways that are positive, but not arrogant.

If you want to gain confidence learn how to do things, especially things that challenge you. The more things you feel capable about, the most confidence you'll gain. Strive to know things that are facts. Knowledge also breeds confidence.

Lastly, there's nothing wrong with being nervous or even downright afraid when it comes to approaching. Some of the most capable people in some of the most dangerous activities still have fear, but their practice and training allows them to manage that fear and go forward with confidence.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-09-30T14:42:56+00:00

Confidence boils down to not giving a fuck what others think about you and doing/saying whatever you want (within reason of course)

Defc0n5_89 · 2022-10-01T04:35:59+00:00

Knowing that you’re invincible as long as ur alive…and ur gonna live life on your terms and you don’t give a crap what anyone thinks about it 😎

B0ut2bank420 · 2022-09-30T14:14:25+00:00

😔 I'm definitely not the guy to be giving this advice, but it really is just confidence in yourself, no matter what! It's a lot easier said than done, especially for us overthinkers... It is loving yourself, no matter what. It's being ok with rejection, cuz you know you are great. It's walking away from people who don't see your worth. It's not letting your past "failures" affect your attitude and willingness to try again... Again, I'm no expert. I truly have the same issue but probably much worse... my best advice, don't think about it, don't try too hard. Just be you! Good luck! 👍

Reasonable-Pea-2772 · 2022-10-03T13:55:21+00:00

Confidence is your baseline anxiety level being low. When you're confident you know how to walk properly and you know how to have fun. There are a lot of people faking confidence and lying to themselves but trust me girls see right through it. You don't have to think about your posture when you're confident and you don't overthink things. It all happens naturally. Women love confident men as they are VERY rare. I don't think true confidence can be taught. An alpha has true confidence, betas try and mimic it but don't realise how ridiculous they look.

omega05 · 2022-09-30T12:57:06+00:00

Maybe seduction and dating is not for you then if you can't even bring yourself to talk to a classmate. How old are you? Just focus on school and your future career and leave women alone.

Walter_White1234 · 2022-09-30T12:46:25+00:00

I'm going through pretty much the same thing. If you get some useful tips can you summarise them and reply here? Thank you in advance

revente · 2022-09-30T13:54:49+00:00

By the end confidence is just your independen decision that you'll ballsy stuff and be fine even if you fail.

MK2718 · 2022-09-30T14:06:15+00:00

Confidence is a trust in one’s faculties that allows them to successfully overcome an obstacle or succeed at a given task.

- How to Become More Confident

zapadz · 2022-09-30T15:28:59+00:00

Here are videos on developing and displaying confidence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNuP7_qz3Lo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpUbThe1cXw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRnX09SYiDs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YoapA4BpRU

Dorsiflexionkey · 2022-09-30T16:14:36+00:00

imo, you gain confidence by achieving things.

Ask yourself, what does "ideal you" look like? Does he have 6pack abs? does he make 150k a year, does he dress up in cool clothes?

If you can answer that by being honest then you should try to achieve those things. It will give you confidence.

How do you use it? It's not like a sword you weild when you need it, it's a real tangible feeling you get forever as long as you have that self validation of what you're humbly proud of yourself for. You go into any situation knowing nothing can hurt you, for example you lost 200lbs to have a 6 pack and you're sexy now.. NOBODY can take that shit away from you. You could get rejected by 4 girls and you will still feel like you're a king because you just achieved the hardest shit in the world.

If you really want to be confident a real good life hack is to learn boxing/mma. Trust me on that, that's all you need.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-09-30T16:25:13+00:00

Being brave, daring and willing to do things that could be risky, choosing not to care about consequences that much, and choosing not to care about what other people think of you.

Being sure of yourself, feeling good enough about yourself, being sure about the fact that you are interesting and fun to talk with, and not doubting your worth or your attractiveness…

And feeling sure that you are accepted and valued by the girls no matter what they do, and not overthinking and instead just doing.

That’s confidence

Embarrassed_Peace277 · 2022-09-30T19:13:46+00:00

Confidence in the most simple form is turning thoughts into actions with self respect

Mcfusion31 · 2022-09-30T21:15:08+00:00

Confidence is something your used to doing for example driving a car at first you were scared now you do it without even thinking about it same with talking with women at first you get

MeanYeti · 2022-09-30T21:22:57+00:00

I still can’t bring myself to talk to a classmate or a pretty girl I see just sitting around.

I feel the same way. I can't think of anything to say that isn't awkward or manufactured as hell and I just lock up

Title	What is confidence and how do I actually use it?
Author	itzReborn
Upvotes	15
Comments	25
Date	September 30, 2022 12:38 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xs0a5k/what_is_confidence_and_how_do_i_actually_use_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-actually-use-it.1249164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249164

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