When do you usually initiate physical touch on a first date?

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2025-09-11T15:18:29+00:00

Normally, I’d start by complimenting her on a ring, then move on to her hand—always while we were talking about something else. Then, light touches on the back, and so on. Over time, it just came naturally to me, and the other person could feel it that way too.

autodidacticasaurus · 2025-09-11T15:53:48+00:00

From the beginning, start with a hug if it feels right. Then just a little bit here and there if it's appropriate. For example, gently touching her back guiding her to the kitchen like it's no big deal. The idea is to get her (and you) comfortable, so building up gradually with small meaningless touches is the way to go. No big gambits. When it comes time for more, then it's much easier by that point, a much smaller step.

Fair_Entrepreneur686 · 2025-09-11T16:01:35+00:00

If they have tattoos or jewellery I will often ask to see it and then do that (if they're comfortable ofc).

Visualize_ · 2025-09-11T16:04:48+00:00

As soon as possible. There's levels to touch so start platonic (hug, quick touch on arm after saying something, leading her by touching lower back) then keep testing more flirtier things. Like examining hands, hand on thigh, resting arm over shoulder, overall proximity sitting next to her, ect

If she rejects at any point just take one or two steps back in an unbothered way, then try again later. At some level though you need to be aware when it's clear she is not about it and you abort trying because then it's just creepy

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-09-11T15:44:32+00:00

Yes I always go for the first kiss if it's lasted at least 2 hours.

SeamoreB00bz · 2025-09-11T15:18:10+00:00

asap

DreamShort3109 · 2025-09-11T16:02:07+00:00

When she’s comfortable. When in doubt, just don’t.

AlastairXXL · 2025-09-11T16:55:42+00:00

Don't go on dates as not a dork, I imagine it would be at the end outside the restaurant

masterofceremony1 · 2025-09-11T15:06:03+00:00

Go with the flow. Dating is not prescriptive.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-11T17:49:34+00:00

I'm a business owner and so handshakes upon meeting are normal greetings from me. It may not work for everyone, but I do them out of instinct and no one's ever reacted negatively that I could tell.

VelvetSinclair · 2025-09-11T18:30:13+00:00

I use it like punctuation marks

"What? Haha, no way that happened!" *shoulder touch

If she seems into it, escalate. If she doesn't, that's fine, give her time to warm up.

Independent_Ad8822 · 2025-09-11T22:15:55+00:00

Right when picking them up with a sensual handshake. Also little psychology tip on this, if you can touch someone within the first 30 seconds of meeting them, you significantly increase your chances of them liking you and listening to you. This goes for everyone. Not just women.

HabitConfident7788 · 2025-09-11T23:56:34+00:00

When I pick her up , I stand outside my car , hug her give her a compliment . Open the door. If I have her cheesing and I feel she’s comfortable or horny . I’ll start rubbing her legs and I’ll make eye contact as I drive as much as I can lol

_callmetone · 2025-09-12T04:57:01+00:00

lol right away, if its a date greet with an open hug. I imagine u got on some smell goods & hopefully she does too. Easy way to break the ice and make her feel protected while also breaking the intimacy barrier.

Cautious-Dig5940 · 2025-09-12T13:17:27+00:00

You should start first date with hugging each other after "Hi!"

If this is not happening - don't waste your time. You are not attractive as a man to her. Leave after 10-15mins of coffee or be friend-zoned.

And all methods about rings etc are good - but hugging first. There is also "bump forehead" trick when you show her photos of your holiday (joke that some of them may raise temperature in caffe or 18+ - see her reaction, it should be flirty). So you sit closer to her and scroll them on your phone.

Jesse_berger · 2025-09-12T16:10:23+00:00

Had a picnic first date the other week. As soon as we sat down. I took out the wine and stuff I saw she had very colorful and patterned nails and I just grab her hand to look at them.

She showed me her other different color hand and it just felt very natural.

So yes. Something involving the hand. Nails, ring.

Inevitable-Pea-2201 · 2025-09-17T04:55:32+00:00

Be animated with your hands when you're talking to her. You can touch her arm or leg with the back of your hand at first - simple, just for a few seconds. That will break the touch barrier. From there, i'll usually try to sneak my hand into their hand. If they wrap their fingers around it at all, thats a green light. Eventually you can move to hand on knee and thigh, and just casually rest it there.

Number one thing is to not make a point of it. She shouldnt even take notice of it because you're either talking to her or making her laugh. It should happen in the background. Dont stare at your hand and then put it on hee

poly_nerdy_panda · 2025-09-11T18:27:38+00:00

go for a hug on hello, call her babe, darling if she objects you probly dont want her anyways but you should of screened for that either on approach or even online

Altruistic-Patient-8 · 2025-09-11T18:06:16+00:00

I think hugging someone you just met is a bit weird. Id probably go with a handshake. After the end of the date, then a hug if the vibe was there; maybe even a kiss.

Title	When do you usually initiate physical touch on a first date?
Author	Realistic-Bowler7563
Upvotes	69
Comments	45
Date	September 11, 2025 3:04 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1neb8l0/when_do_you_usually_initiate_physical_touch_on_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-do-you-usually-initiate-physical-touch-on-a.1561785 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561785

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