How do YOU hookup at clubs?

dystopia061 · 2025-09-27T21:25:03+00:00

Learn how to dance. It’s a game of who can have the most fun, not pick up.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-09-27T22:23:30+00:00

I don't approach I just mix in the floor and then they close the gap. Then I teach them some cheezy dance moves.

Somehowfoundkay · 2025-09-27T21:51:52+00:00

Not sure if I’m welcomed here but great eye contact goes a long way and point out something unique about her or the music that’s playing..

epimpstyle · 2025-09-27T22:27:30+00:00

You can't really say much in a club because of the loud music, but you can use nonverbal signals

Either dance near her to make yourself noticeable, or go directly next to her and tap her on the elbow (not the shoulder or anywhere else, but the elbow). When she looks at you, smile and make the heart sign, then the “come here” gesture and give her your elbow...

If takes your elbow - job done! Just lead her somewhere quieter where you can actually talk. But what if she doesn’t take your elbow? Or doesn’t even look at you? Or starts stepping away? Well… you’ve made your move. She knows you’re hitting on her, so it’s up to her, either she takes your elbow and follows, or she doesn’t. Respect her choice.

You can also use your phone but you need to let your ego aside, because this time you’ll need to pay for a drink. (if you don't afford a drink, skip this method or change it). Take a photo that says “You’re 🔥” and another one that says “Thirsty? 🥤" Then, after tapping her elbow, show her the screen with those two photos and give her your elbow. She’ll instantly understand what’s going on.

However, I’m curious, why did you choose such a difficult scenario for starting a conversation, with loud music while they are dancing on the dance floor? Can’t you just wait until they stop dancing and make things easier?

Milmoney43 · 2025-09-27T23:39:37+00:00

Make an observation, make subtle attraction hints, make her qualify herself (ex: she says she likes something you don’t like you say “ahhh, I don’t know if we’re compatible” she explains herself if she is enjoying the interaction which makes her more attracted to you) lead her around the bar (get her a drink, take her to a table, play pool with her) ask her logistics, who she came with, what she’s doing later, etc. get her to the point where sleeping with her is the best possible outcome for her that night and tell her we should continue the party at my place. BBQ Chicken

Illustrious_Size610 · 2025-09-28T02:10:21+00:00

Your job to start creating the sexual experience is to be direct by expressing what she makes you feel in an emotionally driven way, not to try to get sex (or a relationship or reciprocation or anything else) but rather to invite her to feel the arousal you are feeling for real internally, so that she submerges herself into the emotion and you both just allow each other to sit with the emotion.

And what is the emotion that you express? The way she makes you feel in terms of light-hearted sexual desire (not of love). The emotional effect that her body, her behaviour, her mannerisms have on you. That's what flirting sexually is. Expressing your male sensuality both non-verbally verbally by telling her the things she makes you feel in terms of attraction and sexual desire, for example:

"The way you are trying so hard not to kiss her right now", "the way you lose concentration when she smiles cute like that, the way your heart rate increases when she does "that" particular thing", "the way her gaze kinda hypnotizes you", "the way her touch hits you like a wave", "the way her mannerisms warm up your heart". “The way you feel so drawn to her and can't help it", "the way your mind just short-circuit when you saw her wearing that dress", the way you forgot what you were planning on doing today when you saw how cute she looked", "the way she just took your breath away", "the way you can't help but imagine how you'd like to pin her against the wall and make her yours",...

This is how you flirt verbally, not by telling them compliments or descriptions of what good qualities she has, but by expressing the emotional effect or reaction that her attributes or actions have on you instead, and combining it with the body language and it’s sexual self-expression.

When you flirt sexually, you are expressing the desire she causes you to feel in such a way that invites her to feel that desire, lust and sexual tension that is going through your veins.

Their impulse to start creating sex with you is something they have to feel, and they feel it when you express that desire in such a real and intense way that she imagines your emotions in such vivid detail that she can’t help herself but to feel it as her own. She sees the way you check her body up and down, the way you bite your lips suggestively, the tone of contained lust in your voice, the way your gaze pretty much says to her: “I’d fuck you so hard right now”.

That is what motivates her to feel the sexual energy and can cause her to just want to make out with you on pure raw impulse, and to have sex with you, without you needing to ask her if she would like to have sex and without her evaluating whether she should or not because she is not in her head, she is just feeling it and letting herself be carried by the current of your vibe in that specific moment.

It's something that you say without expecting anything in return, so you should not expect her to tell you “thank you”, or “I feel the same way”, or “you turn me on too”, or "ok let me kiss you"... Just express it because it's just how you feel and only want it to share it right now while you are currently feeling it because the only purpose is inviting them to create a sexual experience if they feel it what you are expressing.

Now she could say whatever she wants: "We barely know each other", "you are so direct, so crazy, so forward", "i have a boyfriend"... Whatever. If she says things like that, you don't say sorry, try to argue, take it back, go defensive, or anything, you simply double down by saying:

"I hear you, I don't want anything, it's just how I feel". While you continue your self-expression verbally and non-verbally.

See? You are not trying to convince her, you are not asking for something, you just keep expressing how you feel internally because that should be your only focus.

This is the secret. Literally. Express feelings without demanding anything in return for sharing your feelings. But if you express feelings expecting her to give you something, then that's pressure and it won't work.

What this does is create sexual tension. And sexual tension is the emotional state where a woman starts to feel aroused, horny, etc because she is feeling your arousal and horniness, which is contagious.

dalen52 · 2025-09-27T22:46:37+00:00

Find your vibe. Find your tribe. I’m a wall flower. So I find someone that gets that or pulls me out of my shell. I look for someone to show me their dance moves or hangout. Usually it’s a swing and a miss but I still enjoy myself. I only buy drinks if I feel a connection.

Llanero_chupandofrio · 2025-09-28T00:20:39+00:00

Well, the most necessary thing to be successful in a nightclub is to have good control of body language, know some basic dance steps and most importantly: have fun. I've managed to make them dance and, subsequently, many pretty girls just wink and smile at them, haha. It's all a matter of attitude.

Don't worry about starting conversations, that doesn't matter. If possible, just make comments about the party and then get the number.

AlastairXXL · 2025-09-28T10:30:28+00:00

Find a wingman, perv on the girls dancing. Approach outside the club at the end

autodidacticasaurus · 2025-09-28T08:02:47+00:00

I don't ever go to clubs, but you ever listen to RSD's Foundations? It covers that at length. I think the guy talking about having fun is most likely spot on though.

1C4W7 · 2025-09-28T12:51:54+00:00

yeah same question, why is it so hard for me

Thierr · 2025-09-28T17:31:18+00:00

As someone who's been with more women than 99% of men, my answer is: I don't. It just doesn't work for me.

Find the thing that works for you, don't try to force yourself into something you're not. Or, go to swinger clubs instead of normal clubs. Much more fun too

ThroatFinal5732 · 2025-09-30T05:17:27+00:00

I used to hate clubs, initially, back when I was single.

I struggled a lot, I also suck at dancing and my strength was my conversation skills, which I felt got nullified with loud music.

I even made a couple posts here asking for advice. I finally found a method that worked for me, though it does involve being willing to risk a little money.

Get a table.
Buy twice the drinks, enough for your friends and a group of women.
Approach a group of women you find attractive.
Tell them one your group likes one of them, but say you won’t snitch who. Explain that you and your pals want things to develop naturally if it’s meant to be. So you won’t butcher that by making it explicit who was liked.
Offer them to come over and have some of your drinks so you all can meet.

At that moment, they’ll more likely than not to want to come over, because:

A) They’ll want free drinks. B) They’ll be intrigued which one of them was liked.

Bonus, upon arriving they won’t be on the defensive, they won’t assume you like them just because you’re speaking to them. For all they know, it could be another of your pals who’s interested. Meaning you can work your charm without their walls being up.

Music will probably be loud, but you can use that to your advantage. Use that to get close and personal, there are entire lectures on doing this properly. And if you run out of things to say? Start dancing, if you suck at dancing it’s okay, smile and just move side to side slightly as if enjoying the music, no need to do more.

I expect many to hate this method, many of my pals did, because there’s a risk that some women to “use you” for free drinks then ditch you. Not gonna lie, that did happen, some times.

But it also created opportunities, if you’ve got game, then you can use the time they spend with you to charm the one you like.

The woman I’ve slept with whom I found the most attractive (aside from my girlfriend of course) came with this method.

Pleasant_Function_27 · 2025-09-30T14:03:44+00:00

I don't go for the girls dancing already, I look for the girls that are sitting at a table alone (preferably not on her phone) and/or standing by herself watching her friends having fun. If she looks bored, frustrated or mad even better, gives me an opportunity to to light up her night with my shine ✨

I approach her Sober, guys try to stay as Sober as possible when you're in the club, you never know when sh!t might go down so it's good to stay ready plus I seen guys get shut down because they were too drunk/out of it.

Anyways, I approach from the side, smile, offer my hand and turn my head dancefloor (hinting let's go)

When she shakes her head no, I move on (I'm just asking for a dance, nothing major if she rejects me) When she nods = yes, we dance untl she decides she wants to stop to sit down/meet up with her friends. At this point, I let her go (I don't ask for her number or try to talk to her) Had few instances where she grabbed my arm as I'm walking away, pretty much saying "stay with me"

If I do decide to stay with her, I keep the talk minimal on my end (name,age,where she from and what music she likes) to get a basic idea of her and go from there.

What I'm looking for is she worth staying with her for the rest of the night? Examples: Once we sit down and she starts talking about "Im here to forget about x" recently heartbroken or out looking for revenge or/and wants to vent = I gotta go ✌🏼 Shes flirty, decent conversation topics when she speaks and wants to spend more time on the dancefloor than talking = let's go! She starts being rude to me or others, behaving different around her or my friends or getting too loud/rowdy = Leave her asap.

If she does let me loose, I keep approaching other women. Sometimes we'll run into each other again later in the club, like I'm coming from the bathroom and I see her walking by. Depending how good we dance and how tipsy she is lol she will approach me to go dancing with her.

At this stage, the night is getting late, the club is packed, the dancing gets closer, she begins to grind harder on you and she starts feeling it.

I had straight up DFK and make out sessions on the dance floor, all initiated by the woman.

I still get the tingles of excitement when that happens because I personally love to DANCE (moving to the music, listening and focusing to the song's rhythm/beats/instruments, Being in tune with your body/ controlled movements, EVERYTHING) It's one of my favorite things to do in life.

I don't go to the clubs in hopes to "hook up" so when it happens it fuels my passion (I literally want to start dancing from writing this lol)

Overall I don't say much, all I do is lead her as we dance, having my full attention on her and no else (not her friends, my friends, other women, the drunk guy looking at me, the other guys she rejected before me and the guys that are just standing against the wall staring at everyone else)

Migos3626 · 2025-09-28T02:48:30+00:00

take her outside, test chemistry until i’m certain she wants me based off eye contact and other forms of body language. once you can verify with the gut instinct and how the conversation goes, there’s some options. pull away to attract her more (talk to her later in the night or some other day after getting her contact), take her home, etc.

Hungry_Ad2210 · 2025-09-28T12:25:41+00:00

Pretty straightforward, you look at her, she looks back, your looks become more lingering hers do too, you smile, she smiles. This is where you know you have a chance. Then you go in, introduce yourself and ask for her insta or number. Now the next move is very important. You immediately message her let's go outside. Then the good thing happens.

Due-D · 2025-09-28T13:27:54+00:00

Nightclubs aren't even lit enough to see someone's face at some times what to do then just approach anyways and they'll know you as a dude want to link up ?

Whitecamry · 2025-09-28T13:31:24+00:00

I don't.

Kurirai_M · 2025-09-29T09:55:32+00:00

You are overthinking it, you've already lost the set if you are worried about what to say it means you're over-invested. Back in the day, when I went out, I would focus on having fun. Most people don't know how, but when they see you having fun, they gravitate towards you. If you don't know how to have fun and you do open, it will get boring fast, plus if she shit test you you’ll cave, you shouldn't be so outcome dependent, the amount times I've said to a lady “do you know what” with know clue what I'm going to say next is mad, I would say the first thing on my mind, obviously not neutral and designed to get an emotional response, didn't care if it killed the set, 9/10 guys water-down what they say which is boring, my favourite example is one time, I said “do you know what? I didn't know Women's Pxxxy have different shapes, what is your shape? the group of girls were equally shocked and curious, we started scrolling google get them to identify their lady parts, its not what I said, its just the vibe I didn't care if they get offended or stayed, I'm just having fun, will continue having fun without them…

Disastrous_Care1877 · 2025-10-01T09:11:50+00:00

Just say anything random, girls are drunk, they won’t understand it anyway. On the dance floor only vibe matters not your words, eye contact and make out.

One cheatcode you can try is ecstasy or 4beers depending on the type of club and music.

Ryan_the_Scion · 2025-10-02T17:05:51+00:00

How do YOU (you personally) usually approach women in clubs, especially when they’re on the dance floor?

When they're on the dance floor? Dance next to them, if they like you you'll notice - and it often escalates without taking. Too loud to talk proper anyhow.

Girls dance a bit like they tinder: You notice when you've been swiped.

What exactly do you say?

Short specific compliments or smt

I don't dance myself so curious what you guys say cause its like you're interrupting their vibe

Perhaps bars would be better? Or learning to dance. Clubs are for loud music and dancing, which can be fun in and of itself.

What do you talk about i can't imagine you say so what do you do for work whilst she's dancing vibing

Oh, man - dancefloor is about good vibes, not an interview

RandoRambo1 · 2025-10-02T19:55:17+00:00

You don’t. And this is why men and women are no longer going to clubs, like they used to, to get laid. Clubs now are just sausage fests to such a degree that they need to damn near give women free drinks, free entry at the door, AND pay them to even show up anymore. Clubs are mostly just dudes sweating and thinking they have a chance. Women aren’t at clubs anymore, they’re at bars and the gym. The gym especially, because that is where the kinds of guys they are actually aroused by happen to be located (good looking, tall, muscular, physically dominant, tattoos, sweat pants and arms, guys who tend to be more alpha). The dating scene is evolving and that includes domains and settings in which women are “ making themselves available”, as well. Clubs will be extinct in 10 years at this rate.

-XtCode- · 2025-09-27T23:11:07+00:00

U just have to be good with small talk mate. If she likes you, shell chat back. I prefer bars where you can also dance because the music is low enough for a chat but lough enough to dance and enjoy. Never think about what to say. Just approach say hey and in the first 20 seconds youll know if she enjoys talking with you or not.

burncushlikewood · 2025-09-27T22:58:41+00:00

Dive in be confident, give her space and watch this video right here

https://youtu.be/_jStE6-uQgQ?si=FqVEoE1a5b5KzTxN

mainframe_idol · 2025-09-29T00:04:30+00:00

so basically learn one or two simple moves that match the music's energy. watching people at clubs, the ones who connect aren't necessarily great dancers but they're reading the room and matching vibes (like good UX design lol). start with just moving to the beat near someone rather than interrupting their flow

No-Cobbler2976 · 2025-09-27T21:25:04+00:00

dawg its not that deep. just go out and do it. dont ask reddit

Ok-Estimate1501 · 2025-09-27T21:39:21+00:00

Just be yourself, go out there and have fun. No, I won't tell you how I do it because I don't share my secrets, figure it out yourself

Title	How do YOU hookup at clubs?
Author	Realistic-Bowler7563
Upvotes	207
Comments	69
Date	September 27, 2025 9:21 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ns6pgc/how_do_you_hookup_at_clubs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-hookup-at-clubs.1562951 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562951

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