Why am I able to flirt effortlessly while being drunk but not when sober?

pindarico · 2025-03-25T06:23:11+00:00

Because you stop thinking and second guessing

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-03-25T06:31:53+00:00

It’s all about your ability to get relaxed.

You don’t need to be drunk to do so.

Meditation helps. But mostly it’s just your attitude towards live.

Chill and be happy.

postbody · 2025-03-25T07:14:18+00:00

So when you’re sober you take time to think about what you’re saying to try to make it hit well. When you’re drink you just say it without thinking without worrying if it will hit or not. That’s confidence.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-03-25T07:47:56+00:00

Because one of the key principles of flirting is having no filter. See my post on flirting and practice the principles inside.

Yes_cummander · 2025-03-25T11:47:00+00:00

In Zen there is a story of a master who while teaching his students came into a room with a leaking roof. He sent out his two students; "Quick, bring something for the leak!" One student came back with a pot. The other came back with a sieve. The master then scolded the monk who brought the pot, and he praised the one who brought the sieve.

In our logical minds we think the objective is to solve the problem logically. But flirting with girls is not a logical undertaking. Yeah you will do the equivalent of bringing a sieve to a leak wile in a conversation with a girl and talk about some bullshit a hundred times, but eventually your brain's ability to just talk and flirt will arise from the depths of your subconsious mind imprinted by your ancestors through evolution.

It's when you trust your brain to just fucking talk and have fun wile doing it, without giving a fuck, that you are highly entertaining to girls and stimulating emotionally, which will open them up sexually.

Meditation can help in the form where you are totally in the here and now in the moment without judgement. But it can hurt in the form where you become self aware and focussed on your own thoughts and emotions.

Being "in state" is focussed on others and almost a state of forgetting yourself wile acting. It is the opposite of self awareness. It is letting go wile doing and being. Alcohol can help if you are too stuck inside and can't let go yet. Don't let it become a crutch. Learn to let go and forget yourself socially in every moment wile sober!

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-03-25T13:57:17+00:00

You’re able to let go and be charismatic. You can do it sober too just requires more work. Read letting go by David Hawkins

Antonio31415 · 2025-03-25T09:04:04+00:00

To do the same when sober,you need to get internally silent. Prayer ,meditation and sensory depravation can help.

Exotic_Pop_765 · 2025-03-26T09:10:16+00:00

which means you care too much... you want the same level of not giving a fuckness while sober ? social repetition, social callibration and extreme vulnerability.

and you need a specific type of social callibration. then one that makes any "low class / second grade " thought you might have, sound charming. this comes from having strong neural pathways that handle social interactions. you strengthen them with making social interaction a big part of your waking life. this will give you the spider sense to kinda "move with the energies" so to speak. 80% of charm is how you embody the meaning you try to convey. its "energetic" its not analytical. theory serves you only to distinguish bad examples of social interactions from good examples. it will NEVER help you generate good interactions.

you can much more easily afford to be vulnerable (i dont mean emotionally, i mean vulnerable to rejection) when you know how to make it look cool. but none the less the most important thing is you risking rejection and picking up yourself to do it all over again. social callibration will only prevent you from doing something extremely stupid with real consequences. thats why i included it. but most consequences will only hurt INSIDE your head, not outside. so you need to hammer the point home that you can show rejectable parts of yourself to society, have society turn you down for them (this rarely happens btw) and realizing you re still breathing.

so TL/DR: be perpetually extroveted and brutally honest about yourself and trust the process. it will take a month for you to wake up. six months for it to become part of your reality. dont give up in between.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2025-03-25T11:01:08+00:00

I had a friend who was like this. Sober he was very shy, reserved, would over think things. His drunk game was god tier. Flirtatious, charmingly obnoxious.

It means you have this charm and capability within you, but when you’re sober you have some things mentally that are holding you back. Work on your Inner Game some, and also try to adopt the mindset of being more self amused and whimsical

bmcapers · 2025-03-25T10:43:24+00:00

Do you want our permission? Because it sounds like you’re asking for our permission.

FatDaddyMushroom · 2025-03-25T12:34:36+00:00

I am somewhat similar. It's the inhibitions being lessened and just talking off the cuff.

It would be great to easily just turn that part of your brain off sober.

FievelGoesDownSouth · 2025-03-25T15:35:11+00:00

Raj Koothrappali

IncognitoBudz · 2025-03-25T16:22:54+00:00

Cali Sober but it needs to be only that, mixing it with nicotine just makes you an anxious wreck

IEThrowback · 2025-03-25T22:08:37+00:00

Because you care less about being turned down.

Noooofun · 2025-03-25T23:39:40+00:00

Alcohol messes with your brain and lowers inhibitions. So you can flirt easily.

Roninsmight · 2025-03-26T03:13:03+00:00

Flirting on the rocks

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-03-26T15:58:09+00:00

I'm the opposite. I'm exponentially better when I'm sober.

SameBarracuda6821 · 2025-03-28T09:29:23+00:00

Being drunk just put you in the mood,

StopCountingLikes · 2025-03-25T14:30:31+00:00

Frontal cortex.

Exotic_Pop_765 · 2025-03-26T09:09:04+00:00

which means you care too much... you want the same level of not giving a fuckness while sober ? well as soon as i get off my ass and try my theories ill come back and tell you. right now i can give you good sounding pieces of advice but that would make me look like a hypocrite. anyway since you asked here is my take: vulnerability is key. never lie about who you are. this paired with social momentum / social calibration will take you very far.

and you need a specific type of social callibration. then one that makes any "low class / second grade " thought you might have, sound charming. this comes from having strong neural pathways that handle social interactions. you strengthen them with making social interaction a big part of your waking life. this will give you the spider sense to kinda "move with the energies" so to speak. 80% of charm is how you embody the meaning you try to convey. its "energetic" its not analytical. theory serves you only to distinguish bad examples of social interactions from good examples. it will NEVER help you generate good interactions.

so be perpetually extroveted and brutally honest about yourself and trust the process. it will take a month for you to wake up. six months for it to become part of your reality. dont give up in between.

Title	Why am I able to flirt effortlessly while being drunk but not when sober?
Author	thaway5567
Upvotes	61
Comments	27
Date	March 25, 2025 6:21 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jjcz4u/why_am_i_able_to_flirt_effortlessly_while_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-am-i-able-to-flirt-effortlessly-while-being.1547561 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547561

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