You just are not attractive

seduction-ModTeam · 2026-04-12T23:40:17+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

Loro213 · 2026-04-12T21:48:12+00:00

Damn bro i just opened reddit and you hit me with one of those

Current-Paramedic-50 · 2026-04-12T21:37:41+00:00

Bro, just accept it and accept yourself.

Fitness and grooming can do wonders, but they have a ceiling. So accept your body on its own terms.

You can still compete on personality, and there's a much higher ceiling there.

So do what this sub was intended to help men with: learn the social skills pertinent to sex and dating. There's infinite room for growth there.

JeffBaugh2 · 2026-04-12T22:19:16+00:00

I don't know, I'm a weird little Leprechaun dude but I've had plenty of girlfriends, friends with benefits and even one ex-wife. The trick is that I have a developed personality, a sense of empathy and a perspective on the world that isn't purely transactional.

Go outside and stop viewing the world in this way, folks. It's bad for you.

reddguy6 · 2026-04-12T22:21:19+00:00

As a man, you can be very good looking and still have pretty poor results. Looks open the door and get that initial interest but so many other factors come into play in order to seal the deal

Melodicmat · 2026-04-12T21:40:37+00:00

obviously there's more extreme things (i've seen transformations of guys going form like a 3 too an 8 with surgeries) but that's pretty extreme and hella expensive

Depends just how much you care about getting laid. I mean, if that's all one wants, here you can bang extremely hot 18 year old Eastern European hookers for fairly cheap! More economical than surgeries tbh! And Much hotter than girls than the one night stands 99% of PUA's get

Outside of that, in terms of attraction, there's really only the gym, good fashion. Things like tats can help with a certain demographic I guess.

But most of us are never gonna be Tom Welling hot so we will always be playing the numbers game. (e.g approach, flirt, and IF she thinks you're hot, you'll get her)

BraveProgram · 2026-04-12T22:17:51+00:00

Long as youre born with decent height and face and have nothing really wrong with you (physically, mentally, etc) then yeah, everything you said can just be worked on

If youre very short, have a horrible face, you better have absolute confidence, be intelligent, funny, talented, and the thickest skin imaginable

I_fondled_Scully · 2026-04-12T22:20:39+00:00

Breaking news: water is wet

UNCLEJUMBLE · 2026-04-12T22:23:17+00:00

If you’re being sincere in asking then I would say that there are ways to be more physically appealing. Good hygiene - brushing flossing and using deodorant showering with soap + maybe a small amount of cologne. These are ways to instantly pull disgust out which turns women off completely. A good haircut and beard trim can do wonders.

How you dress - I don’t mean expensive but rather having your own style that you stick to.

And of course the classic is exercise and it doesn’t take much. 30 minutes every other day of jogging or any truly sweating cardio can do a lot for your physique and it makes you feel better!

Nobody can change your face other than plastic surgeons and then that’s another whole can of worms…. This whole “I’m not attractive” mentality is something that even very attractive people struggle with. There’s plenty of awkward looking or straight up ugly men with gorgeous women because of confidence, usually. Confidence can be the most attractive thing a woman sees in a man and it has nothing to do with your dick size or your physical attractiveness.

Think about all the fat funny guys who women would literally throw their panties at - and it’s not a new trend. John belushi, Chris Farley, even Adam Sandler or Seth Rogan are considered attractive to loads of women. Are they particularly good looking? I wouldn’t say so.

It starts with a little perspective.

Landon1m · 2026-04-12T22:42:41+00:00

Being skinny and funny go a long ways. Skinny is more important.

As much as body positivity is a thing when people are honest with themselves no one is rushing to bone a 250lb man unless it’s muscle

saryiahan · 2026-04-12T22:31:05+00:00

It’s crazy how so many of you pet woman up on a pedestal. They are human and don’t expect you to be perfect. They expect you to be there for them.

Excellent-Archer-238 · 2026-04-12T21:42:37+00:00

You can always try surgery. I have a friend who had a shitty nose, he had surgery and now he looks way better.

Also, there are ways to become attractive personalitywise. I also have a friend who is not attractive but still gets women throw themselves at him because he has an attractive personality.

JaytheSunGuru · 2026-04-12T22:25:15+00:00

More you go out, the more you build synaptic pathways to a higher state. Aka it’s not money or looks you’re just not talking to enough women and people in general so it makes you inauthentic aka insecure. You can feel when you meet the right ones because they make it easy to connect and vibe easily. You move and are different when you are true to your true self and forget about your looks or status or $$$, instead your focus presence and fulfillment are given and are here now as you are. Remember she’s likely talked to or dated someone way less attractive than you, this game is really all mental. Conscious non resistance to life, don’t deny yourself or life, just accept yourself and others fully in life and blessings fall on your lap

refreshingface · 2026-04-12T22:30:11+00:00

Save up for that limb lengthening surgery boyos

wildrift91 · 2026-04-12T21:59:00+00:00

Depends on race too

likeshismetal · 2026-04-12T22:31:13+00:00

I think I'm pretty good looking but there're no girls when there's no social life or social skills on my front. I think social status, charisma and confidence probably go a lot farther than looks can ever take you

ChicoBrillo · 2026-04-12T22:13:36+00:00

This is a form of cope. Simplifying a problem to one aspect so you can either 1) focus on min-maxing that one thing or 2) Feel justified in admitting defeat when things don't work for you: "Well of course, I was born ugly, that's why!"

Sure, obviously a hot guy who looks like a model is going to have an easier time seducing women, no shit. Just like a woman who's a model could have virtually any guy she wants. That's just life.

Of course, it doesn't hurt to be fit, develop a sense of style, and groom yourself properly, but don't autistically hyperfocus on it

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-12T21:53:22+00:00

"The people who tell you to be attractive are trying to sell you a fitness advice membership or course or gym membership to get your ass in the gym"

pumpitup365 · 2026-04-12T22:21:05+00:00

Thank God for stating this.

SquallidSnake · 2026-04-12T22:21:17+00:00

Eh i’m like a 5 out of 10 but get a nice haircut and lift weights to be jacked. It helps and my wife is like a 7.5 or an 8

ethe_ze · 2026-04-12T22:33:10+00:00

Yea this is true for girls too. I always tell myself, If you want to take care of a girl, a man must first take care of himself. His dreams his aspirations his hobbies his finances. His emotions his family his happiness His physique. Is he skinny? Take care of yourself. Eat more. Are you fat? Workout more. Nothing personal. Are you happy to be skinny or fat? If so then fine. But im not content being skinny the way i was . I want to look like a man and be bigger than my children and wife. I want so much more and here i am Also do you like your hair? How you have glasses? Take care of yourself.

easybreezybullshit · 2026-04-12T22:36:57+00:00

To add to your list. Your nails should be cleaned and trimmed. The amount of guys with dirt under and around their nails is gross

jjbinks4 · 2026-04-12T22:56:18+00:00

I mean I don’t think I’m ugly but in January I was depressed, anxious, and struggled to get women. I’ve been in the gym heavy, got more consistent haircuts, manicures, etc. and now I go on a date with someone new every week at this point (I will say I was in the gym for years prior and took a few years off so the progress I made in the last 3 months makes me look jacked)

Pzseller · 2026-04-12T23:01:05+00:00

Yeah but I’ve seen some ugly ass dudes hookup and even have ltrs with hot ass women too

Max-Rockatasky · 2026-04-12T23:02:47+00:00

Disagree with the “throw themselves at you” part. I look amazing and haven’t been on a date, let alone held a woman’s hand, in years, but people compliment my looks all the time. I’m just autistic af.

Realwoujo · 2026-04-12T23:04:22+00:00

this is not true. This is cope for guys to not work on their game. The thinking is "women only care if you are hot, tall, or rich, and I am not those things, so why even bother." This is loser thinking.

The reality is that lots of tall, hot, rich guys fail with women because their game and personality sucks. And lots of mediocre guys succeed with women because they have good games.

Stop making excuses.

Opposite-Science-398 · 2026-04-12T23:24:22+00:00

I’m a woman and I know what you mean. I’m simply just not attractive. Have only “attracted” three men in my life and only one of them was interested in me romantically but he didn’t like titles or commitment so we just decided to be friends. The second guy flirted with me & wanted to date me as a joke and the third guy just wanted to date me because he said and I quote “I’m tired of looking for someone so I’m just going to settle. You want to go out with me?” Lol 😂

I’m in my 30’s so my prime time is basically over. Now I have a chronic illness that makes it impossible to be active and try to make myself somewhat attractive. I’ve been ugly my entire life so I’m used to it now as I’ve come to terms with reality. I have my family and my 2 best friends so emotionally I’m good! Wish you the best op

monkeychristy · 2026-04-12T23:26:55+00:00

but you also have to be nice, intelligent, and interesting/fun/funny.

coffee9table9fitness · 2026-04-12T23:37:35+00:00

Jaw surgery

Moisty_Merks · 2026-04-12T22:08:04+00:00

Looks are a pass/fail grade, but the more attractive the better. Your charisma and ability to tease her are more important than your looks.

A 4-5/10 with amazing social game will do better than a 7-8/10 who has autistic social game.

Imaginary_Angle_ · 2026-04-12T22:21:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Skydiver860 · 2026-04-12T23:20:29+00:00

i love when duded pretend that ugly dudes can't get hot women lmao.

im in my 40s, fat, balding, and far far far from being rich and i've slept with and dated SOLID 7s and 8s

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-12T21:56:33+00:00

Most of those fitness bros and looksmaxxers are operating at a very low level. If only they’d biceps were 5 percent bigger… then they will get laid! Do not emulate these clowns.

Title	You just are not attractive
Author	Imaginary_Angle_
Upvotes	38
Comments	103
Date	April 12, 2026 9:31 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sjra98/you_just_are_not_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/you-just-are-not-attractive.1577794 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577794

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