Need urgent advice

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-07-05T22:08:31+00:00

Does not seem like she qualifies as wife material now. Whatever you do do not get her pregnant.

Angry outbursts usually backfire for men. Consider grey rock if you can’t go NC.

Motor-Connection5608 · 2023-07-05T22:10:38+00:00

Do not sleep with her - tell her calmly it is over, not going to work and that you are filing for annulment/divorce. Document the cheating the best you can

dugduggyneow · 2023-07-06T01:03:47+00:00

Thanks for all the replies. I could not hold back and confronted her with a note.

She accepted the mistake but in classic borderline personality disordered person turned it around on me. Basically I had starved her of emotional attention and that is why she became the person who cheats on a spouse. And that this is not her. Load of bs.

Now she is making up lies and stories around the timeline. Anyways gonna ask her to leave tomorrow morning and she seems OK with that for now.

She is basically crying and trying to flip and revise our history. I haven't complimented her enough in the last 2 months and haven't appreciated her keeping some rituals which I don't believe in. So going to be hard few months but atleast now I can kick her out instead of trying to live in hell.

I don't have any close friends which would have definitely helped so have to muddle through alone.

Thanks to everyone for helping me deal with this. Not sure in what way this might escalate but atleast now I can start to get some closure.

emoney7610 · 2023-07-05T23:10:11+00:00

I'm sorry you're going thru this. my suggestion would be to keep quiet and collect as much proof/information as you can. when your 5 months is up start the divorce process and consider moving. if you say something to her now you can almost guarantee the next 5 months will have you miserable. you deserve to be happy and if you say something too soon you can jeopardize your own peace and happiness. good luck with everything

captainchippsixx · 2023-07-06T00:31:41+00:00

Dude she is lying. Walk away from her! Don’t talk to her. Just give her the boot. Pack her shit up and out outside.

Get a friend to come over.

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2023-07-06T00:45:21+00:00

Sorry to hear this remember to take care of yourself spend time with friends and family get into a gym and eat right you will get past this but don’t let it consume you work hard on yourself and keep moving forward Also don’t let her fool you with nonsense she is lying and will continue to do so .

DucatiDrew · 2023-07-06T00:48:36+00:00

How old are you both? She sounds immature and definitely not respectful of you. Avoid outbursts as hard as that is and send her on her way. Get an attorney and separate. It will only get worse. Record any discussion you have with her to protect yourself.

DatabaseSpace · 2023-07-06T03:04:16+00:00

You may be able to get a lawyer and start working out the settlement agreement during the few months you have to wait. Then when the year is up you have everything worked out. That’s better than waiting a year then starting. I would see if you can do that. Other than that make sure you are careful not to have any physical contact during arguments because if neighbors hear yelling and she grabs your arm or bear hugs you and you try to get her off that may be a domestic violence charge. It’s time to protect assets and future income and cut this cheater out.

I had close friends pre divorce but they all disappeared once things started heating up. They are overrated and most of them are using you for something anyway. Sometimes there are 1-2 good ones.

Pinnerforever · 2023-07-06T03:34:19+00:00

I am going through this same thing but she has gotten her own place already. Protect yourself and hide it from her till you are ready to leave that cheating whore. Don't let her know till you are ready.

No-Exit6560 · 2023-07-06T10:50:11+00:00

Uh…no do not confront her, unless you want a domestic violence charge, and to be totally fucked when it all actually goes down. There’s no reason to ‘tell her what you know’, the marriage is over this isn’t a point scoring contest where someone wins a prize for being right.

Tell her you want a divorce plain and simple.

Then, wait for the amount of time you have to, and file the paperwork. In my neck of the woods we had to be separated for 12 months before a divorce could be granted. It’s different everywhere.

hpsportsfanatic · 2023-07-06T11:20:10+00:00

I have no idea, but can you get the marriage annulled? I could be way off.

ww3historian · 2023-07-06T20:08:56+00:00

Why haven’t you had sex with her for the past 2 months?

Title	Need urgent advice
Author	dugduggyneow
Upvotes	1
Comments	39
Date	July 5, 2023 9:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14rojbx/need_urgent_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-urgent-advice.1224434 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224434

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