Getting a divorce

captainchippsixx · 2023-07-22T14:54:44+00:00

Move 50% money to a new account she can’t touch. Have your check go to anew account as well. Tell her she needs to move out. Start recording her or the mess she leaves . Documentation of her can go along way in court.

bluewizard8877 · 2023-07-22T14:57:26+00:00

Nope nope nope nope. Promptly open a new savings/checking account and start putting money in there, but leave some in your current account. The court system doesn’t like it when you cutoff your spouse 100% from funds. Get a lawyer consult asap. A 1 hour consultation for a couple hundred bucks right now can potentially save you a fortune in the long run.

Sue you for money abuse? That’s funny. Wishful thinking.

Grand-Expression-493 · 2023-07-22T16:00:41+00:00

Alright, she Googled stuff, she's been talking to other witches too. You're killing yourself and she is living her life.

At what point will you dig down in your pants and use those set of balls to see what's really happening?

Just curious here bud.

Frequent-Dust-8296 · 2023-07-22T15:19:28+00:00

I feel like if I tell her to leave she will use that against me. Besides she will take my son and I don’t want to leave him. I’m going to try and find a place without her knowing. So that when the time comes I already have everything settled.

Character_Hippo90 · 2023-07-22T15:46:15+00:00

Shift all shared accounts out of her reach and set limits on all credit card expenditures. Consult with an attorney immediately, record any and all conversations going forward with your SO, especially ultimatums and threats of withholding intimacy. Take on a strategic posture since she has already began the process. It's now about you and your son only.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-07-22T17:43:02+00:00

Get and read No More Mr Nice Guy.

Ok_Transition_4914 · 2023-07-22T21:01:46+00:00

You can use whatever money you have to hire an attorney because it's almost certainly considered community property, but get out. You have some similarities to mine, most notably not working and controlling money while I was being accused of controlling money, and a lack of intimacy.

This isn't a phase, and you don't want to "try to do the right thing" and end up wasting a few more decades.

Maybe you want to take a softer approach and try for marriage counseling, but if that fails, run.

berzerker5000 · 2023-07-22T18:49:01+00:00

I think you should take steps to protect your finances but also consider reconciliation. Your wife is dealing with post partum hormones and not thinking straight. You are working your tail off supporting the family financially. She is getting her emotional release through shopping and talking to other bitches that will feed her demons. You need a neutral third party and she needs to be willing to try counseling. There are online programs and books too if you can’t afford it. Ask yourself if you love her and the marriage is worth trying to save.

If I could go back I would have done pre-marital counseling cuz once we had the first kid everything changed. Nobody prepares you for this. We start doing what we can to protect ourselves and survive and lose the relationship and ability to help eachother. Marriage should be about leveraging the power of two to have a better life. Two people living separate lives doesn’t work. Meanwhile prepare for the worst. Google The List and read it while remaining level headed and optimistic when dealing with her. Don’t tell her you are thinking about divorce while you are setting up accounts etc. Better yet stack your cash because accounts are all traceable. You need to be ready if reconciliation fails.

Gattsama · 2023-07-22T18:59:36+00:00

She's not workable or wife material. You don't try to prove your love, and people who ask for that are not mentally healthy. Do NOT play into her control games. While married, you can cut her off from credit cards, services, and access. Open a new account and start to have your income deposited there. Close any credit cards she has access to. Continue to put her allowance into the joint account and give her nothing more than that.

If you only have one car, if in your name take her keys. If in both have to share.

Have her get a job. Your spousal and child support is based on how much you both make. If possible, quit your second job. Document the time you spend carrying for your child. Not a diary of complaints, just an actual log of what you do.

If she leaves, she doesn't get to take 90%. She can take the kid prior to your filing for divorce, but in most states, she can not after filing. Filing kind of locks in the status quo, so you want to set up everything before filing.

That you can't afford it, language is 100% shaming language. The goal is to control you. But it also demonstrates huge entitlement.

You need to stop doing the home chores for her. Cook for yourself and the kid. Clean for yourself and the kid. Understand that you are training her to be lazy and abusive, reinforcing her bad habits by rewarding her for her bad behavior.

We have all been there and done this. We see a problem, we work to solve it. And if we had a workable partner, that would be the way to go. But since we have a parasite, the more we do, the less they do. Stop taking on extra work. It will never end! She will never see your work as anything other than what she is entitled to. She won't reciprocate or step up ever on her own.

It sucks! You might be able to set firm boundaries and make a workable situation. But here's the hard truth, she doesn't respect you. And it's extremely rare that she ever will. No matter what you do, once women see you as their simp and worker bee, they never can put you into the leader/respect role.

crypto_keeper88 · 2023-07-22T19:10:30+00:00

Cut her off financially, tell her to move out and have her served. She will change her attitude real quickly!

Long-Review-1861 · 2023-07-22T19:43:01+00:00

I'm sorry my man this sounds awful. It seems being a man nowadays is indentured servitude. I don't think I could spend my only life catering to an ungrateful woman. As stated repeatedly, the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Vulgrim6835 · 2023-07-23T16:46:43+00:00

Gather as much evidence of her deceit and abuse and leave her! My god! She’s a monster! Gather as much evidence about her neglecting the baby too or expecting to be paid for it as if it’s not hers. And talk to an attorney. Manipulate the situation if you have to, she’s a MONSTER!

wisstinks4 · 2023-07-23T21:31:10+00:00

Work on better communication.. Its time to man up and talk about expectations for her. Move her out of the master bedroom unless she stops her crazy behavior. Consider greyrock, ignore her place on earth. She can fend for herself. Std test for you too. Is she shagging someone else?

Stay safe.

xerxeshordesfaceobli · 2023-07-25T03:43:23+00:00

I HOPE TO EVERY STAR IN THE UNIVERSE......

That this is a fake story.

OP do you live in the USA?

Title	Getting a divorce
Author	Frequent-Dust-8296
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	July 22, 2023 2:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/156lwcz/getting_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/getting-a-divorce.1226116 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226116

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