Beautiful empresses,

This is an FYI post.

You and I both know the obvious Scrote fuckbois that objectify women as sex dolls and instruments of pleasure. But let me tell you another version of men who may not necessarily have a porn addiction but they still objectify women. Here are some signs I can share with you:

  • Calls women he doesnt like bitches
  • Shit talks about his mom and sister(s) to you
  • Infantilizes your anger, ex: says that you’re cute when you’re angry or they laugh when you get angry (I don’t mean the condescending kind of laughter. he doesn’t take your emotions seriously if he’s patronizing you!)
  • he agrees with the statement that “for every hot woman, there’s a man sick of her shit”
  • claims that “all women are the same”
  • talks about his Previous ex and what she did that he didn’t like (then you try to not do what she did but the moment he perceives you’re doing what she did, whoooo boy, he gets mad)
  • talks about previous women he was involved with (not sexually) but as a way to say how they did him wrong, how they were selfish
  • says you’re perfect, amazing, “you’re my angel”, sweet talks the heck out of you but the moment you show your human side or don‘t give in to his whim, he will take out his anger on you. He might say that it is you who can’t compromise, you who is controlling, you who “made him” mad or sad or do something bad
  • Jealous, possessive, and controlling of what you wear, where you’re at, and who you see
  • big one: doesn’t want anything to do with women from his own culture (he might call them “disgusting“)
  • he keeps calling you hot (which is great, because you ARE hot) but then when there are obvious problems in the relationship, he might use intimacy as a way to get closer, unleash aggression in hopes of making the relationship better. adding to this, when you try to break up with him, he will agree that it’s best to break up but AGAIN says you‘re hot, fun, cool but says he doesn’t want you completely gone from his life (so which one is it, idiot?)
  • look out for double standards... if he’s allowed to be angry and sad, and you show these emotions (I mean hey, we’re human, we can’t be happy all the time) too, he will get angry, internalize, and think he’s unable to keep you happy when it might not necessarily have anything to do with him
  • when he really is being harsh, you tell him he is being mean. Then he responds that “how come when I am being honest, which you want, you say I’m being mean. Then I’m the bad guy” (Gaslighting you, victimizing himself)
  • he says you’re living in your own little world when he sees you STILL being affectionate, lovey dovey to him even after he has gotten into really bad arguments with you (you even tell him you want to feel chased and he says, “im still supposed to chase you?”) ; he says that life isn’t a Disney fairytale because he thinks that once he‘s “got” you, he won’t need to expend effort anymore. Once he feels like he’s expended effort on you but he perceives that you’re not reciprocating or that you’re still causing problems, he will resent you. (Remember, in HIS mind, he thinks you’re being clingy, needy, unreasonable. Newsflash: you are the reasonable one. He is an ill person trying to manipulate you to get you to shut up.)
  • oh right, speaking of shut up, he might tell you to “shut up” And it doesn’t need to be in an aggressive tone (he doesn’t respect what you have to say if he has to say “shut up” even if lightly)
  • you ask him hypothetically, what happens once you get fat after having his child, he says that you’ll work out [nonchalant tone or not, honesty or not, a lot of women have difficulty (emotionally especially) dropping baby weight.]
  • he Sneers when there are debates/arguments, he is utterly sarcastic too (then you get pissed off and say something you don’t mean, then he goes ballistic and unable to restrain himself)

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Such a man may not necessarily insult the way you look or the way you perform during intimacy. To him, you might be the hottest woman in the world and he doesn’t fantasize about anyone else when he’s with you. Heck, you’re his dream girl! With conditions though — Until you show that you are your own independent woman, you are your own entity, and that you want to compromise but he feels entitled to have everything his way.

There are some snake ass negative value men out there. Trauma bond is a fucking bitch and can turn rosey colored glasses to PITCH BLACK, and you still wouldn’t be able to see his glaringly obvious faults. No smoke signals could get you out of this pairing until you make the realization yourself that this man is a piece of flaming sewer shit. Please. Journal. Document. Talk to your closest friend or family when these things do happen. Do not let the trauma bond become something engrained in your head that hes the only one for you in the world. If he makes you feel insecure, obsessed, or you feel an unexplainable sinking in your chest when arguments/fights happen, you need to talk to someone you can trust. Best yet, get out of there. I know it’s easier said than done. Your peace and safety comes first. Yes, you might love him with pure intentions. But he is not acting in a way that respects you and makes you feel safe.

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No need to seek revenge on this man, if you’ve ever dated or married such a man. What you do is mourn the person who you thought he was and then move, run, haul ass to level up. you will be able to find a man who has his good parts AND MORE... and none of his ultra toxic behaviors. (I have a hard time believing this myself, but I am not willing to sacrifice my life, my earnings, my peace, my religion even for a man who could not better himself to deserve me.)