Inevitably their choice in partner is going to reflect their own neurotic sensitivities. Picking someone who will make them happy usually puts too much strain on their ego as insecure women would rather be in a relationship who doesn’t make them feel bad about their flaws rather than someone who is good for them. For example, if they are insecure about not working, they aren’t going to want to date someone who says “you should get a job” even if that’s what is probably best for them.

Women who feel bad about themselves already are not going to pick good partners. I will even go as far as saying that they are most likely going to be sexually dysfunctional as well as they’d rather not want sex be a reflection of their quality of character.

Another example: Women who are insecure about their bodies will have trouble be fully present during sex. A sexually secure man will highlight features she’s insecure about and she will feel less attraction. Women who are insecure about their bodies want men to ignore the features they are insecure about until they bring it up themselves if they feel the man has other emotional collateral to offer in exchange. Women often see their insecurities as “negative social capital” so they need collateral from their partner to feel secure.

You could go on: women insecure about being bad at communicating in relationships will flat out refuse to date men who are good communicators. For these women, preservation of ego is more important than relationship quality.

So insecure women can only be attracted to men who tip toe around their insecurities. And inevitably these will be passionless relationships. The fear of having her insecurities come up exceeds the need for a passionate relationship.

Clarifying points: I do mean attraction. I am insisting that insecure women regularly pick partners who are less sexually competent (or compatible) so they don’t feel that they are being sexually evaluated. Feeling insecure is a bigger turn off than any of their turn ons. And in general they prefer relationships where the other person is the one taking emotional risk so that they don’t feel dumb for investing in a relationship if it doesn’t pan out. In the words of Sabrina carpenter: “Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker.” Some may see it as poetic justice that Sabrina’s partner cheated on her with some insta thot. When women choose partners on the basis of ego and “optics” the relationship will inevitably end with their partner trying to get validation elsewhere because the relationship was based on validation in the first place