Stop confusing your own experiences with the experiences of the others. People have different standards for diferent people.

toasterchild · 2025-03-29T15:41:27+00:00

If there is one thing this sub has proven in its lifetime is that all the silly generalizations just annoy everyone. A hefty number of people struggle to find relationships or meaningful relationships and that is a problem, if generalizing fixed that this place would have solved everyone's problems years ago.

We live in a time when people desire simple solutions to everyday problems. They are unhappy and want someone or something easy to blame for it.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-03-29T15:07:51+00:00

Well said. Good analogy.

Worth_Plastic5684 · 2025-03-29T15:27:54+00:00

Right, agreed. Also remember this when someone makes some generalization that flatters you and you are inclined to agree with.

SquirmingAddict · 2025-03-29T15:16:24+00:00

Well, no.

When people say "X doesn't do Y", what they're saying is *"A high enough percentage of X doesn't do Y, so that it makes it acceptable to say X doesn't do Y, while being able to trust that others don't assume I'm speaking in absolutes.

If 90% of women don't approach men romantically, then it becomes socially acceptable to say, "Women don't approach."

People are generalising, not speaking in absolutes.

This is social interaction 102. People are virtually never speaking in absolutes.

It assumes the person on the receiving end has enough social aptitude to understand this.

For anyone with an understanding of how himans speak and even a fraction of understanding about how they work, "Women don't approach" is functionally the same as "Women only approach in an extreme minority of cases, where the male is of incredibly high attraction value, though a very small percentage of men meet that value, leaving the remaining men unapproachable." if you have a modicum of understanding about social interactions and how the world functions.

We don't need to speak as though we have social disorders just because some people struggle with these concepts.

If you can't deal socially, it's on you to find a way to manage that. It's not on us to change how we communicate for you.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2025-03-29T15:21:19+00:00

"women don't approach men"

Well, it is true, generally speaking. One has to be an absolute moron to think this is true in EVERY case, it obviously isn't. Though majority of cases, it absolutely is.

You're basically saying that people shouldn't claim things like...

Whites are taller than Asians (because you know a man named Zhang who is 6'4). This is, of course, stupid.

Men are stronger than women (because you know a woman who is an extreme power lifter). This, too, is stupid.

I know it's hard to accept this, I really know, but you must accept this somehow.

Generalizations are not hard to except. They, by definition, imply exceptions.

Women aren't inherently bad — maybe often with you, you.

Now THIS is a whole different topic and one I for once very much agree with you.

Only men who are not/barely competitive have contempt for women because they're not selected for.

JonMyMon · 2025-03-29T16:27:25+00:00

They're saying "women don't approach men anywhere close to the rate that men approach women" and it's factual. Sometimes generalizations are just observations of general trends, and there's nothing wrong with observations of general trends so long as it does not cause you to prejudge an individual.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2025-03-29T15:16:04+00:00

Every time a man says something like "women don't approach men" I have to correct him: "women don't approach you".

I don't think it is quite this simple. In the past I've known women for lengths of time who never gave ANY hint of interest in me. Not a lingering stare, not a tap on the arm, not trying to be near me. Then suddenly we're at the same place and we've had too much to drink, and she's trying to kiss me, touching me wherever she likes, demanding I come back to hers etc.

Mick427 · 2025-03-29T15:30:09+00:00

Every time a man says something like "women don't approach men" I have to correct him: "women don't approach you".

Nope, you're forgetting two words, "on average", because a small percentage who do the opposite actually prove the rule.

Men actually do talk to each other, so data and the experience of the majority of men agree that on average women don't approach men.

"Women aren't easy to get", yeah, for you. "Women are very complicated", again, for you.

Women are from Venus.... ring a bell? 😁

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Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-03-29T16:49:51+00:00

But there’s safety in numbers

DankuTwo · 2025-03-29T19:19:15+00:00

This entire post is built on the idea that people EXCLUSIVELY draw from their own experience....as if they don't know anyone, they've never spoken to anyone else, and have never socialised in public.....ever.

People are very apt to be wrong when making generalisations, but you can't pretend these generalisations just come from nowhere.

Teflon08191 · 2025-03-29T15:24:42+00:00

Everybody knows women generally don't "approach" men. You don't have to try and poison the well to obfuscate such an uncontroversial truth.

Yes, ultimately men have to accept the reality - which is why we shouldn't gaslight them about what reality is.

Jetpine9 · 2025-03-29T17:08:06+00:00

It makes me profoundly melancholic to inform you that to a large degree, that's nonsense. Women refrain from approaching men they are interested in all the time. Yes it's just personal anecdotes; but literally every man and woman probably has at least one story testifying to it. Probably more. That constitutes a preponderance of evidence.

caveat; not all women, and not all women all the time. There are exceptions.

Proudvow · 2025-03-29T17:24:32+00:00

Nah you have to use common sense and understand figures of speech.

Every time a man says something like "women don't approach men" I have to correct him: "women don't approach you".

Women approach men far less often than the reverse. That's all that's meant by that comment. Nobody is saying no woman has ever approached a man ever. And nobody's gonna change how they speak just because you want to play ignorant.

"Women aren't easy to get", yeah, for you. "Women are very complicated", again, for you.

Same principle as above. Women are less simplistic and straightforward than men on average.

Be the living version of the "well, ackshully 🤓" meme all you want but it's a waste of your own time more than anything else.

berichorbeburied · 2025-03-29T17:48:51+00:00

Well that’s not how medicine or architecture or math or etc works

We are all human

Ofc for certain things that are truly subjective and relative maybe you have a point

But in general a lot of choices are very understandable and since we are humans. A lot of outcomes will be similiar. And thought processes will be similiar

Not all the time

But enough times to be able to make some general statements that will be true

Like don’t trust a liar or etc

Ofc not every liar will always lie

And not every liar can’t be trusted

Yet in general through experience you learn that more times than not that’s a true statement

And the same with other statements

Although not all general statements are true

Nuance and understanding and etc should obviously be used when comparing experiences or general trends ofc

But experience is valuable in a way

And so is observation

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