Involuntarily celibate: The main reasons why guys who are terrible with women are terrible with women.

Summary:

Whether it is being unable to get a date, land a one night stand, or just having women in their lives; over the years I've noticed what leads to the majority of guys being terrible with women. A lot of what I am going to list is what most sites are not going to say but not only do I list it, I give a way to fix it.

The main reasons:

A lot of people call them "involuntarily celibate" and these guys do flood up online forums. I have known guys like this in real life and over the past few years, I've observed some of the things that these guys have in common which leads to them having issues with attracting women, getting a date, and landing a one night stand. The scary part is that not all of these things together lead to a guy having women problems, just one alone can give a guy a lot of issues but I also give a solution to the problem after listing it. Here are the main ones:

1 - Helicopter parenting, overly attached mother, and other major parenting issues.

Hands down without question the major one out of all of them. Bad parenting which results in the parents micro-managing the lives of their kids (as is common in Asian American households) leads to kids that have low self-esteem, are scared of taking risks, are scared of the world, and have a tough time becoming independent. The worst kinds of parents to have if you want to do well with women are the parents that try to aggressively take over your life and give you little to no freedom at all while growing up.

When you have domineering parents that do their best to control you and often give you little to no freedoms growing up, it leads to a lot of major issues if you do not address them. I am talking victim's mentality, lack of self-confidence, love shyness, and fear of going after what you want. Domineering and helicopter parents will often use guilt-trips and fear mongering to make their kids do whatever they please whether it is going into a profession the kid has no interest in or making him feel guilty for wanting to date girls. Men from cultures known for not doing so well with women in the western world (namely Asian cultures) are the main ones who struggle with this issue.

What can you do about it?

One of the main things you will realize in your 20s is that your parents aren't perfect and if you had these kinds of parents, it is time to realize this fast. You must stick up for yourself against domineering parents, maintain frame at all times. The raised by narcissists sub is a great resource for dealing with these issues so that would be a great way to start. You are scared of your parents who bullied you throughout your life, do not be scared of them at all. Do not listen to a lie they say and refuse to believe whatever they want you to believe. You have to understand that if you have these kinds of parents, they are lying to you in order to get you to serve them. I recommend calling them out on their shit from now on and letting them know they are in the wrong, it is not going to fix itself over night (will take at least a year to do so) but when it does, you will feel so much better.

At the same time, realize that a lot of your victim mentality, low self-esteem, and fears come from what your parents told you about life.

2 - Constant pessimism: Outlook on life is extremely negative, especially when it pertains to them, which leads to other distancing themselves from these guys (Law 10!). Avoid the unhappy and unlucky!!!

So this kinda builds off of number 1 (as upbringing and parenting play a big part in this) but here is an example:

"I am Asian, I can't get hot girls, all hot girls want tall rich white guys, what's the point of playing the game?"

If only I looked like Chris Hemsworth would I be able to get hot girls but I don't so what's the point. A lot of these guys talk about being "realistic" about the game and they will cite any online dating "study" they can to rationalize their failures. The truth is, guys who are good with women are irrationally confident and don't care about "statistics and facts". If I spend about a couple of weeks being friends with a guy and he has this kind of mentality, I know for a fact that there is no way in the world he is doing well with women. A lot of the guys with a negative outlook on life are a far cry from the mysterious lone wolf that knows some dark truths about people, the kind of guys I am describing are just losers. Society sees men with a loser's mentality as, well, losers. Compared to the charismatic winner with a bright smile, the losers are seen as the roaches of society who need to avoided at all costs.

Not only do women avoid these guys, other guys avoid these guys as well. No one wants to be associated with these guys because of law 10, which leads to these guys lacking a decent group of friends. By definition, these guys are not only a cancer to themselves but also others, which leads to others avoiding them. Most of these guys end up making friends with people just as negative and miserable as they are.

What can you do about this?

First of all, accept what I said as true. Instead of reaching for online dating studies to prove your point and convince me how you have reasons to complain and whine about life, accept what I said is true. You are indeed a loser and losing brings all of these messed up thoughts to your head. I think that the loser mentality builds off of helicopter parenting as most helicopter parents are losers.

After you have accepted what I said as true, do the following:

1 - Distance yourself from negative whiny people.

2 - Accomplish something in your life, anything, that you can be proud of (learn new skills, play a club sport, etc.).

3 - Realize that a lot of your negative mentality comes from helicopter parents or just being around a lot of negative people.

4 - Realize that negativity will ruin all aspects of your life and make you miss out on a lot, no matter how much of a reason you have.

5 - Realize that the world doesn't care about your circumstances, it may feel sorry for you for 2 seconds but then if you are still a loser, they will mock you for it.

3 - Breaking law 38: Wanting society to be how they want it to be and refusal to adjust to the times. Stubbornness and unwilling to change at all.

First of all, the problem isn't that these guys are acting like a social outcast weirdo, the problem is that they are acting like a social outcast weirdo and expecting others to treat them like a charismatic and socially well adjusted man! The truth is, you DO have to care about what others think of you and how society views you, that is called protecting your reputation and having status (which is HUGE in attracting women).

In a way, you have to admire this trait because these guys truly give a lot of power to their beliefs and under the right circumstances, this is a good trait to have. Unfortunately, this also makes it hard for them to get laid, earn respect from other guys, and often leads to them being social outcasts. The kind of stubbornness I am talking about on this thread is the one you see with overweight feminists that want the world to change for them instead of changing for the world, it is society's fault that a 350 lb woman is not modeling, not the woman's fault for letting herself get to that weight.

A male version of this would be hating on the fact that women like muscular and handsome guys, often calling these women "shallow sluts" for not liking a WOW geek instead. I even see it here on TRP, guys who want to make their geeky hobbies a part of their lives yet while that they can't get the hot blonde at the night club to come home with them. Society should change for them is what a lot of celibate guys say, they shouldn't have to change for society. In a way, they let themselves be the victim of the times rather than adjusting to them.

Not only is the fact that these guys have the beliefs they have terrible, but they broadcast their beliefs to the world and want the world to have the views they have.

How to fix it?

You have to fit in, that is just how things work. Get over it, women like what they like and you will not make society respect a World of Warcraft geek more than a pro athlete. While you shouldn't completely try to be someone else, you should consider that some of your hobbies and lifestyle choices will make you appear nerdy and weird to a lot of people out there. Does that mean you should quit your hobbies? No, what that means is you should keep them hidden from the eyes of others and present what others would like to see and keep the odd geekiness to yourself. You are also better off not broadcasting your controversial opinions for all to hear, as the number one rule of Fight Club, you don't talk about Fight Club!

4 - If it wasn't obvious from the thread, other guys DON'T respect them.

Others can hate you, but they must respect you and what you are capable of. If other guys pity you and see you as someone to feel sorry for or occasionally bully, this is a very bad sign. Almost all guys I knew who were in this position were terrible with women and managed to be overlooked. The sign of disrespect from other males is generally due to a combination of all of the 3 traits listed above.

How to fix it?

Read 48 laws of power, better your looks, fix everything about yourself that I have listed so far, and become the person OTHER people want to be around.

5 - Location is unfavorable.

If all of the above have been fixed and the guys still struggle, it is due to location. Instead of being in a lively big city area, these guys are in a small town where everyone gets married at 22 or a very conservative area where in order to do well with women, you need the "good ol boy" status. Unfortunately, the status is hard to get because the good ol boys in town aren't going to welcome in some outsider to their clique. Ideally, all guys who want to have a lot of options with women need to move to a big city that has favorable gender ratios (more single women than single men).

How to fix it?

Move!

So that about does it.

Outside of taking in the info given on the sidebar of TRP, the one mentioned on this thread has to be addressed. Any of the things I've listed on the thread (1-5) are major red flags, address them as soon as possible!

Lessons learned:

1 - How your parents raised you has a big say in how you do with women but it can be fixed.

2 - Negativity and pessimism will ruin all aspects of your life, address it ASAP before you miss out!

3 - It is okay to be strange and have strange hobbies, it is not okay to broadcast your weirdness to the world and try to make them accept you for it. What society and others think of DOES matter.

4 - If other guys do not respect you, this is a very bad sign and it needs to be fixed ASAP!

5 - Your location has a HUGE say in all of this, move to a big city with favorable gender ratios AFTER you have addressed 1-4 and are still have issues.

Edit: So this was glided as well, thanks guys!