"I won't be available for a week"

2020-05-01T02:34:25+00:00

[deleted]

Snowboard18 · 2020-05-01T02:14:52+00:00

who knows man, but my guess is your a side dude. She probably has a vacation or something planned with her beta bf.

Just don't hit her up again, let her come to you.

Whisper · 2020-05-01T06:47:54+00:00

So what?

Some chicks will ghost you and you'll never know why. The trick is not to care.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2020-05-01T02:15:55+00:00

Actions are more powerful than words. You are right about it not being worth the trouble talking to her about this.

I would hard next her, I wouldn’t bother contacting her and probably wouldn’t reply if she was to reach back out. Maybe, if she came back w a really believable excuse (involving spies, and assassins, and needing to be mute about the flakes else that would have blown her cover) and she was going to make it up by making a steak dinner, a nice long BJ and anal. But probably would still hard next after I got the steak dinner.

Every guy has their own tolerance level but I have found mine gets less and less for this type of stuff.

IXseed · 2020-05-01T04:23:36+00:00

It means he's not available for a week. Lol. Ok but serious. She's blown you off twice. Sounds like more likely that an ex is back or some other dude and she's giving it a week to see what happens.

I'd say let her reach out to you and let her EARN your time again. AKA she comes over, gets piped and gets booted. Outside of that nothing.

slickshark · 2020-05-01T08:49:40+00:00

I learned from trial and error that it’s best to not respond to texts like that. If you say alright or ok, you are giving her permission to behave this way. If you say what you think, you lose your frame and sound bitter. The only way to win is not to play. I usually get an apology later as long as I don’t respond.

reddit_man64 · 2020-05-01T02:12:12+00:00

Move one bro. Next.

Lazyman_4hire · 2020-05-01T05:58:51+00:00

Unrelated: I hate it how guys feel that they can't vent or have a valid complaint without seeming "like a pussy". This stigma is the reason why male suicide rates triple that of females - we feel we can't express ourselves without being judged.

Related: You're not a pussy - she sounds like a bitch and you're right to be pissed. Ditch her.

alphaonthecomeup · 2020-05-01T02:19:55+00:00

Nah you don’t sound like a pussy. That girl is playing games and that shit would get anyone tight, especially in a time like this.

Yeah bro, ghost and just let her come back to you. Don’t have any expectations or anything, but let her put in the work if she does.

Azshira · 2020-05-01T04:12:59+00:00

Lol she’s more of a dude than you are (no offense). I get how you feel though bro, and it’s good to get it off your chest somewhere. Just don’t hit her up first and she’ll Text you to meet again eventually.

CookieAdmiral · 2020-05-01T05:47:17+00:00

Next. Let her hit you up if she wants to, meanwhile, ignore her completely.

NightwingTRP · 2020-05-01T10:19:06+00:00

She's a plate, who cares?

cafeitalia · 2020-05-01T07:27:13+00:00

As you care and question this you need to go back to step one which is idgaf. Who cares why? Did you develop oneitis or something?

Blazer808 · 2020-05-01T07:55:45+00:00

EDIT: gosh I sound like a pussy

Ah, I see the issue is sorted then.

Just get one or two more plates and hit those up?

KillaJewels · 2020-05-01T10:50:56+00:00

I have a 3-flake rule that's worked pretty well for me. First flake, benefit of the doubt. Second flake, soft next. 3 flakes = hard next. It's crazy what it does to some of them too. I still get girls hitting me up from over a year of no contact (not that you want to give them another shot).

JaydXThomas · 2020-05-01T09:46:02+00:00

My advice: don't ghost her or she will think that you're butthurt.

Don't be butthurt. She's either playing games, or doesn't value your time. Of course, don't hit her up again unless she initiates. No dates, and if she contacts you, invite her over and hook up. Let her be the one to ask if she can see more of you.

When you're bored, move on. In the meantime, don't even bother yourself with her erratic response. Just go do your shit, forget about her. If she comes back, good, if not, who gives a fuck.

The1ndex · 2020-05-01T10:16:42+00:00

You forgot about IDGAF and outcome independence.

You’re pissed off because she let you down — you relied on her for something: you’re needy and dependent on her.

You should have been completely unaffected by this — check your frame.

alphakari · 2020-05-01T10:43:03+00:00

Eh. Could be anything.

My first instinct is that she's basically soft nexting you to get a reaction.

The temptation is to meet her inconsistency with your own inconsistency. IE: Soft nexting HER. That'll get her, right?

I'm not a fan of mirroring. Yes, go talk to other girls and be busy with other stuff. You already should've been doing that. But trying to manipulate her so clumsily and from a frame of frustration is the same loser shit she's trying to play on you. It's also why so many guys here look pathetic when they complain about how their soft next didn't "Work". Soft-next isn't at its root a manipulation tactic. It's to get you to stop investing in someone not worth the investment. The winning condition of a soft-next has nothing to do with how she reacts, it has to do with your time now being used on something better.

But if all she's doing is backing off, all you have to do is what you're already doing. Don't give her a reason to think soft-nexting you will change anything, or it'll become a theme. (Just like when guys repeatedly soft next a girl just to get her to panic, to soothe their damaged ego.)

My second instinct is she's getting some side dick, but dw bout that. Legit don't matter unless you aren't wrapping it up, and if you aren't, you're a dumb fuck.

Yes, this behavior isn't the behavior you'd want from someone you might LTR some day, but she's a plate not an LTR. She didn't break any contract with you. Chill out and be immune to the games she's probably playing.

longjeep2005 · 2020-05-01T14:29:23+00:00

Soft next her until she reaches back out, and give her one more shot. If she cancels again, it’s three strikes and she’s out. That’s what I would do, and have done in almost this exact scenario.

She’s fucking someone else btw.

Chadster113 · 2020-05-01T03:18:16+00:00

lol she might have a bf

agjrpsl · 2020-05-01T07:26:54+00:00

Next time tell her you got corona

2020-05-01T07:37:12+00:00

Why do you even care? From your own admission, just a hookup. I don't know where you live but where I do, that's how hookups are supposed to work. Sometimes they do, some they don't. Sounds like you've developed some kinds of feelings for the girl and react out of it. Maybe it's time to reevaluate what you want out of the deal. Don't do it now. You're not in a comfortable place.

(Some SuperDuperAlphaChad would say, indeed, that you're acting like a little bitch ;D)

2020-05-01T11:57:06+00:00

Don't contact her ever again. She already broke off two dates. If she ever contacts you, she needs to invite you out or she might throw huge hints about getting together. The point is to wait until she contacts you. If she doesn't you'll find someone better.

Domebeers · 2020-05-01T18:48:54+00:00

lol, you got the edit right, at least.

No hoss, you should not vent to a girl. It's stupid. You might as well yell at gravity because you can't fly. Also, it will dry that pussy up.

It doesn't matter why. Like, the reason is unimportant as it could be a million things. What the matters is: She's flaking. Ok, fine. That becomes a big deal if she's your only source of pussy.

Game other girls. Game other girls. Game other girls.

Besthater · 2020-05-01T07:45:10+00:00

There is probably someone else and she is keeping you warm.

NeuroBoss31 · 2020-05-01T07:52:47+00:00

Plot twist: She could have the Corona.

nixon993 · 2020-05-01T11:51:20+00:00

She owes you nothing you are not in relationship

vorgriff · 2020-05-01T11:52:17+00:00

She could be clearing up an infection, and the course of the meds take about a week to complete.

Nastynatee · 2020-05-01T12:01:54+00:00

Lol "gosh I sound like a pussy" . At least u recognize that. Dude they reserve the right to change their mind at any point.... it's just our turn bro. As it was yours and now its over. The problem now is you sorta fall into her frame now if she continues to set the rules under which and when u guys fuck. Next her and replace her

bilabrin · 2020-05-01T15:48:19+00:00

I think a better question would be "what are you doing to build social momentum, your social circle, and meet more women?"

Get busy and you won't even have time to worry about flakey girls. Date two at the same time do if one flakes your are still good and if both show up the date goes even better.

michael_in_chains · 2020-05-01T21:38:34+00:00

Wait for a bit, invite her back to your crib, if she come, fuck the shit out of her. Otherwise be done with her ass, and if she wanna come back, make her suck whole lotta dick.

7K60FXD · 2020-05-01T10:19:37+00:00

Another guy is involved. Fight fire with fire. Ignore her, and the next time she hits you up, schedule something and then immediately cancel. Give her a taste of her own medicine.

cfbovernfl · 2020-05-01T19:00:32+00:00

Apart from being a pussy, you're also a selfish asshole. You do realize we are in a pandemic and are supposed to be quarantining (ie not meeting up with strangers)?

Title	"I won't be available for a week"
Author	zeitdruck
Upvotes	51
Comments	67
Date	May 1, 2020 2:08 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gb9io8/i_wont_be_available_for_a_week/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-wont-be-available-for-a-week.658506 https://theredarchive.com/post/658506

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