Cheerleader assaults her boyfriend, then calls the cops on HIM, clutch with the lies. He proves to the police that she was the aggressor, and she gets arrested instead
I'm going through this now... Looking back I knew something was off based on a picture. We were seeing each other (aka fucking) for a few weeks and things were fine, linked up on FB and saw her profile pic. It's one of those artistic pics that girls take when they do "photoshoots". The look in her eyes was THE look. Both I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you and kill you in your sleep.
She's two different people when she's sober/drunk. Drunk her is hyper aggressive and has assaulted me countless times. I called the cops on her once and they took her to psych eval. I took her out the next morning and she was pissed "I did that to her". She called her ex and told her I assualted her and put her in the hospital.
A couple weeks ago, another fight. She assaulted me again... It's honestly too many times to count. Then she leaves, then the threats of suicide start (not the first time). Tried to buy a gun.. then said she was gonna kill herself driving.
I'm both worried and just mad. I feel stuck like I can't break up without something bad happening. We've been trying therapy but after the last time, not sure I'm willing to keep trying.
Oh and she "got assaulted" when she was on Vaca in Hawaii and went home with randoms to drink and do drugs, went to bed with a dude and woops...
It took forever (months) to get her to come to the honest truth, telling me I was victim blaming her, etc.
Man I want out of this... I don't know how though.
Also, we're in our 30s so we're not quite young and naive. (She's a therapist to make matters more interesting)
Its no as simple as that, I've been on the other side telling my friends similar advice in nowhere relationships. This one in particular has some mental instablity that scares me. For my own safety since she knows how to break into my place (we did it together a few times) but more importantly for her own physical well being.
Luckily my therapist is also in touch with her therapist, so when I have my next appointment, I can address the recent events and how best to navigate this sticky wicket I find myself in.
But yes, you're wholeheartedly correct, because it is the right and only option to do.
One of our major issues is that we argue from an emotionally charged perspective under the guise that we can talk rationally and end up intellectualizing a lot of the issues. So it becomes a logical tit for tat. Sadly (yes), I have a better grasp on arguments and being able to get someone into a corner with their words, which conversely puts her in a defensive emotional state where she feels vulnerable and defenseless and her ego reacts the only way it thinks it knows to protect her by reverting to physical violence. Im aware of what im doing post facto, but in the moment, its me trying to prove that "i'm right" because x,y,z based on statements and shes "wrong" because she has said these contradictory things. After months and months of these battles, I've never "won". Yet, for some dumb egotistical reason, i keep thinking to myself, maybe if I just phrase my position better, she'll get it and own it. Sadly, this has proven futile 98% of the time because someone who may be "wrong" but feels attacked would rather double down and fight rather than accept their short comings. I think its a basic human response stemming from fight or flight protection mechanisms intertwined with our more "intelligent", "rational" thoughts that cant compete with the primal urge to run or fight.
When I get into these passive aggressive situations, it comes from a place of being wronged and her not being truthful and coincidentally, which reinforces my "righteousness" because I catch her in lies... I have a dossier of her lies (from small things.. to larger things). She then tells me, we both made mistakes and I forgive you and want to move forward, but you dont trust me. And honestly, that bother me alot, because she's creating a false equivalence and wanting to be like "hey, you fucked up, I did to, i'm moving on, so you should to". Without really ever just owning the magnitude of her fuck up. She never straight up told me the shit she did, i had to fish it out of her, and when things eventually came to light, she gives these bland "im sorry" responses, to which I push back and ask her what she's sorry for.. then she gets mad that I cant accept her apology. Sorry but that isnt an apology.
I know what I have to do to bridge this. Its either to sever ties completely (gym, delete facebook, etc) OR do the uncomfortable thing that just goes against all my feelings which is to show humility and humble myself and accept her transgressions and quelch it. Never bringing them up again, even in future times where I may want to buttress a point by putting her down for her past shit.
Ugh... im sorry im spewing this shit out onto you and your simple reply, but maybe it adds some clarity in this strangers situation.
[–][deleted] 1054 points1055 points1056 points (95 children) | Copy Link
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[–]mr-mooseknuckles1 points [recovered] (72 children) | Copy Link
Never stick your dick in crazy
[–]Irecruitfish 309 points310 points311 points (40 children) | Copy Link
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[–]InfiniteBlink1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Don't give her keys. And don't live on the first floor where she can jump up your balcony and break your glass door window to open the lock.
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[–]RedRumRaider1 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Literally all women are crazy. It's just a question of the degree.
[–]camouflagedsarcasm 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]InfiniteBlink1 points [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link
I'm going through this now... Looking back I knew something was off based on a picture. We were seeing each other (aka fucking) for a few weeks and things were fine, linked up on FB and saw her profile pic. It's one of those artistic pics that girls take when they do "photoshoots". The look in her eyes was THE look. Both I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you and kill you in your sleep.
She's two different people when she's sober/drunk. Drunk her is hyper aggressive and has assaulted me countless times. I called the cops on her once and they took her to psych eval. I took her out the next morning and she was pissed "I did that to her". She called her ex and told her I assualted her and put her in the hospital.
A couple weeks ago, another fight. She assaulted me again... It's honestly too many times to count. Then she leaves, then the threats of suicide start (not the first time). Tried to buy a gun.. then said she was gonna kill herself driving.
I'm both worried and just mad. I feel stuck like I can't break up without something bad happening. We've been trying therapy but after the last time, not sure I'm willing to keep trying.
Oh and she "got assaulted" when she was on Vaca in Hawaii and went home with randoms to drink and do drugs, went to bed with a dude and woops...
It took forever (months) to get her to come to the honest truth, telling me I was victim blaming her, etc.
Man I want out of this... I don't know how though.
Also, we're in our 30s so we're not quite young and naive. (She's a therapist to make matters more interesting)
[–]Ragnrok 11 points12 points13 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]InfiniteBlink1 points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
Its no as simple as that, I've been on the other side telling my friends similar advice in nowhere relationships. This one in particular has some mental instablity that scares me. For my own safety since she knows how to break into my place (we did it together a few times) but more importantly for her own physical well being.
Luckily my therapist is also in touch with her therapist, so when I have my next appointment, I can address the recent events and how best to navigate this sticky wicket I find myself in.
But yes, you're wholeheartedly correct, because it is the right and only option to do.
Thank you.
[–]calvarez 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Valek27 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]InfiniteBlink1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
One of our major issues is that we argue from an emotionally charged perspective under the guise that we can talk rationally and end up intellectualizing a lot of the issues. So it becomes a logical tit for tat. Sadly (yes), I have a better grasp on arguments and being able to get someone into a corner with their words, which conversely puts her in a defensive emotional state where she feels vulnerable and defenseless and her ego reacts the only way it thinks it knows to protect her by reverting to physical violence. Im aware of what im doing post facto, but in the moment, its me trying to prove that "i'm right" because x,y,z based on statements and shes "wrong" because she has said these contradictory things. After months and months of these battles, I've never "won". Yet, for some dumb egotistical reason, i keep thinking to myself, maybe if I just phrase my position better, she'll get it and own it. Sadly, this has proven futile 98% of the time because someone who may be "wrong" but feels attacked would rather double down and fight rather than accept their short comings. I think its a basic human response stemming from fight or flight protection mechanisms intertwined with our more "intelligent", "rational" thoughts that cant compete with the primal urge to run or fight.
When I get into these passive aggressive situations, it comes from a place of being wronged and her not being truthful and coincidentally, which reinforces my "righteousness" because I catch her in lies... I have a dossier of her lies (from small things.. to larger things). She then tells me, we both made mistakes and I forgive you and want to move forward, but you dont trust me. And honestly, that bother me alot, because she's creating a false equivalence and wanting to be like "hey, you fucked up, I did to, i'm moving on, so you should to". Without really ever just owning the magnitude of her fuck up. She never straight up told me the shit she did, i had to fish it out of her, and when things eventually came to light, she gives these bland "im sorry" responses, to which I push back and ask her what she's sorry for.. then she gets mad that I cant accept her apology. Sorry but that isnt an apology.
I know what I have to do to bridge this. Its either to sever ties completely (gym, delete facebook, etc) OR do the uncomfortable thing that just goes against all my feelings which is to show humility and humble myself and accept her transgressions and quelch it. Never bringing them up again, even in future times where I may want to buttress a point by putting her down for her past shit.
Ugh... im sorry im spewing this shit out onto you and your simple reply, but maybe it adds some clarity in this strangers situation.
[–]Valek27 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]RedRumRaider1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Of fucking course. Women are a protected class and it's fucking disgusting.
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