How do you fix your self esteem?

EarthRocker_ · 2020-09-16T23:17:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Kurious1313 · 2020-09-17T00:04:22+00:00

Little victories, do something completely out of left field. Weights is sisyphus torment with the self esteem coming from the muscles but there are tonnes of awkward insecure muscle dudes. Legit pick up a random set of hobbies that you never consider. Practice them until you get good, those little victories help us. You'll not always recover but it's a step in the right direction. Prove to yourself you're hot shit. Validation from the right partner is agonisingly rare. But it happens, keep trying. Don't be yourself, be better, find a skill that you assumed you would hate or not be good and try, think of it as training.

EarthRocker_ · 2020-09-17T01:36:24+00:00

It comes down to the thoughts running through your head.

Mindset.

The biggest mindset changes I made that started making a huge difference were:

- Assume attraction, assume rapport

- I'm good enough for most women

Essentially, if you can adopt these mindsets when interacting with women, it takes away all the neediness and outcome dependence.

If you KNOW (or assume) most hot women are attracted to you by default, because your are a man, then you have nothing to prove when interacting with them. This automatically fixes all the body language and sub-communication issues that might be turning women off.

Women can feel it, when you have this attitude.

Check out Dan Bacon on youtube (he's products are magnificent, expensive but well worth it). Eg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ena69_FO6d0&t=403s

Also, a girl who stops messaging you on a dating app is not rejection, they are bombarded with messages from guys on those apps, I don't use them anymore personally.

2020-09-17T01:30:44+00:00

You confront what scares you and get better at it. Confidence follows competency, not the other way around. Be competent in whatever way you can, if you can't think of anything, aim as low as possible. Break what you are afraid of into as little detail as possible.

Icy-Mind-7954 · 2020-09-17T01:58:07+00:00

ever try to imagine the outer expanding edge of the universe moving away from you in all directions at the speed of light?

that usually helps me frame little fuckups i made in a healthier way.

2020-09-17T02:39:42+00:00

I think it’s important to remember this will take time and a lot of self work. Don’t give up on yourself. You are worth so much.

I found in my journey constantly “checking myself” when i’m thinking negatively or beginning to get anxious, and correcting myself. For example “they don’t like you stop making a fool of yourself”, I would try and recognise that and actively say to myself “No, you don’t know where they are at right now. You are worthy.”

Something along those lines. It honestly can be hard to believe yourself at first, but it’s about practice. If you tell yourself something enough you will believe it. I mean, that’s how anxiety and spiraling works right?

You got this dude. You’re doing great.

dark_rai0 · 2020-09-17T02:22:25+00:00

I recommend The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. This book will teach you all you need to know.

quietsam · 2020-09-17T04:21:03+00:00

Best thing you can do is remember this:

Any woman who doesn’t show/prove she wants to be apart of your life, the second you realize something doesn’t feel right with the dynamic between you two... you pull away and it’s on her to go after you. If she never does, good. Now you don’t gotta chase someone who doesn’t mutually feel for ya, that’s a fucking blessing. Someone out there for everyone, trust me.

Quigon-Jin · 2020-09-16T22:16:22+00:00

Go lift weights

McPoyal · 2020-09-17T08:20:17+00:00

Six pillars of self-esteem

https://youtu.be/mfFUVnwCNVY

LastChanceProbably · 2020-09-17T11:10:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mitcht3 · 2020-09-17T03:43:43+00:00

I think confidence comes from understanding yourself. Know who you are and know that you are enough. If you put forth effort to be the best version of your true self, the confidence will come. It has to be your authentic self though and you gotta stay true to that. Make sure you can be honest with yourself..

2020-09-17T04:18:47+00:00

Stoicism

shanuv12 · 2020-09-17T08:15:38+00:00

I have 2 solutions for you.

Workout and have goals. Invest in youself. That would bring you self love and a positive self image. A well disciplined lifestyle is a big self esteem booster.
Meditation which will lower your anxiety levels and help you gain emotional control.

Rare_Breed721 · 2020-09-17T03:35:22+00:00

Rian Stone.. Thank me later pal

salutcemoi · 2020-09-17T04:23:48+00:00

2020-09-17T04:46:27+00:00

Learn how to pull bitches lmao. I was in your same exact situation not too long ago and all it took for me to regain my confidence was learn game.

2020-09-17T06:54:55+00:00

Read The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

DjangoZero · 2020-09-17T07:50:55+00:00

Go deep

fatalStrike97 · 2020-09-17T10:10:13+00:00

Cooking. Is free therapy

PUA19124 · 2020-09-17T11:22:00+00:00

Confidence comes from not what you CAN do but what you can do that you once couldn't do. Therefore - Try something hard and new. Learn spanish fluently. DO 200 pushups, whatever but do it. Then you'll be like, damn. That was hard, but talking to a girl is nothing compared to that. And even if she shoots me down, so what. She doesn't know I can do X.

Haunted_Motel_6 · 2020-09-17T12:48:41+00:00

Order hamburger, and leave the burg?

alexys_gk · 2020-09-17T13:46:57+00:00

I highly can not recommend enough the book "6 pillars of self esteem". Its one of the books that explains a lot about self esteem, and has help me tremendously through a hard time in my life. Its worth checking it out. Much love :)

boink_that · 2020-09-17T18:27:36+00:00

There's something called the default network mode (task negative network) which is responsible for much of our non-external, background thoughts. It is thought to be responsible for, among other things, thoughts about the past and future which is where imo many anxiety issues begin.

I find that a lot of anxiety that I suffer from revolves around thoughts of the past and/or the future. But perhaps it's our ability to control our own minds that is the ultimate savior here. I find that I'm able to direct my mind away from anxiety causing thoughts simply by refusing to think about the past or the future. Live in the now, as they say, it's a great simplification technique. Free your mind up so it can focus on improving yourself.

There was a LPT thread today about wearing one earplug to prevent motion sickness. One of the comments was about how they're able to actively think, "I'm moving" to help prevent the disconnect in the mind that leads to the brain basically put a poisoning itself. That plus the "I'm sleeping" trick, I've got a lot of research to do tonight ;)

TL;DR: engage your mind (task positive network) to actively think only about the present to drown out those annoying negative thoughts (past and future)

Lancelot20055 · 2020-09-17T19:48:48+00:00

You can’t think your way into confidence. This is what most people do.

I’d suggest working out, doing sports or outdoor activities, don’t always go for the hottest girls, get some validation from girls that you may not be that interested in. As a return for their effort, help build their confidence.

LastChanceProbably · 2020-09-16T22:09:42+00:00

If you get an answer link me too pls

quietsam · 2020-09-17T13:28:37+00:00

Bro, you are a human being. You are not an asteroid or a marsh or a gnat. You are a fucking human. The most intelligent and beautiful thing in the galaxy. A god. Know this, my dude. You are a literal god. And you’re alive right now. At this time. Be a god because you are a god.

SandtheB · 2021-02-12T03:50:13+00:00

It's ok to feel dejected and hurt when you were cheated on..

but you can't let that feeling effect your decision process..

That is one of the first and MOST important lessons of dating:

"A man never lets his emotions get the better of him; he feels but he doesn't let that make his mind up."

For the HINGE girl nothing girls do on dating apps should be taken seriously unless she is in front of you and on a date (maybe even until she is f8cking you). so relax.. :)

Title	How do you fix your self esteem?
Author	LastChanceProbably
Upvotes	410
Comments	72
Date	September 16, 2020 10:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iu5vdq/how_do_you_fix_your_self_esteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-fix-your-self-esteem.1502278 https://theredarchive.com/post/1502278

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