Ask MR: My lesbian friend is having a women's only wedding ceremony (all guests are female). Should this annoy me?

YesImSardonic · 2011-08-26T16:39:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

iTroll_irl · 2011-08-26T16:28:31+00:00

Well, they have that right. Rights do not mean freedom of repercussion from other individuals, though. A "girl's night" make sense. The reason for a wedding ceremony is generally for people you care about to witness the beginning of your new life. If they're willing to say that they care for you less due to your sex, then you have every right to be offended. Personally, I wouldn't be "Oh fuck off you sexist jackasses", I would be more like "Well, I was bothered much in the way you'd be bothered if I didn't invite you over for Thanksgiving because you're gay." -- and I'd just stop hanging out with them. Tell them why, if they ask, and then move on.

Dville1 · 2011-08-26T19:14:21+00:00

sounds like your wife just got invited to a lesbian orgy

Yooklid · 2011-08-26T17:57:53+00:00

She's not your buddy guy.

AnnArchist · 2011-08-26T16:08:48+00:00

Sounds fucking stupid. But its her day. Her choice. If she wants to exclude the important males (cousins, father, brothers, friends, significant others of friends, nephews) in her life, then thats up to her.

It sounds like the stupidest wedding idea ever to me. If you want to go, go, but if you don't want to go, don't. If your husband or boyfriend feels excluded, you could mention this to her.

I don't know why anyone would want to be friends with someone who is openly hostile towards men simply on the basis of their genitals.

kanuk876 · 2011-08-26T16:11:34+00:00

It tells you a lot about her.

For example: She does not want you there because you are male.

Under what circumstance would you tell her, "I don't want you to attend my celebration because you are female"?

AnnArchist · 2011-08-26T16:26:14+00:00

Saw your edit: Are men banned or are you just invited as her +1? Meaning, is it labeled "Yourwife + guest" and are there any rules that state "no men"

Faryshta · 2011-08-26T15:54:11+00:00

I don't think she is your 'friend'.

fondueguy · 2011-08-26T23:21:07+00:00

That's disrespectful in two ways.

one she is not including men in her closer circle/ family.
two she not considering your family.... You don't invite one spouse to a wedding. That's shameful.

I would seriously reconsider things.

escobari · 2011-08-27T05:31:01+00:00

well if you were black, should you care if your wife was invited to whites-only wedding? OFC!
second I wouldnt be even friends with such people and I your wife goes alone, shoudnt be married to such people.

2011-08-26T15:47:55+00:00

I personally wouldn't be friends with anyone who had such a ceremony unless they had a really good reason. Like, a giant lesbian orgy and they just didn't want any cock. That would be an acceptable reason.

2011-08-26T15:46:38+00:00

If in fact their exclusion of men is hostile in any way, would you even want to be there in the first place?

Shattershift · 2011-08-26T21:50:57+00:00

It seems reasonable that you would be moderately offended. The reverse situation taking place would probably offend significant amounts of women, as would the idea of a "straight only" event.

hevo4ever-reddit · 2011-08-26T21:57:05+00:00

Are you sure they are your friends?

They are getting married and they dont want to see you there...

As a fellow MRA said, it tells you a lot about her.

kloo2yoo · 2011-08-26T16:27:41+00:00

your lesbian 'friend' has sent you a clear signal about how she values your friendship.

Find out about all of the other uninvited male partners; surely you're not the only one.

Engage in some form of party for yourselves. It could be prime steak and fine scotch, but it doesn't have to be.

JustPlainRude · 2011-08-26T16:11:00+00:00

Saves you money on a wedding present.

Marilolli · 2011-08-27T15:44:05+00:00

If I was invited to a wedding but my husband wasn't, I wouldn't go to the ceremony. I'd have no one to joke around with about how ridiculous it was that there were no men there.

Torger083 · 2011-08-26T15:45:14+00:00

I'd be annoyed, but that's about all you can do.

ThePigman · 2011-08-27T00:44:12+00:00

Lighten up. They're probably just afraid that being a male animal you will either rape their guests or start jerking off at the sight of all those luscious lesbians.

2011-08-26T15:57:36+00:00

i know someone whos cousin got married and only invited their gay/lesbian friends (and parents) but have never heard all women...this is a new one

yea you should be annoyed

2011-08-26T19:59:18+00:00

This is obvious bigotry is it not? I would consider asking my wife not to go.

hardwarequestions · 2011-08-26T18:42:28+00:00

I don't see whats remarkable about this. Women ostracize men typically when they are in a sufficient number. (Not all women, just most).

I'd be annoyed at my wife for going frankly.

robofunk · 2011-08-26T18:52:16+00:00

If she wants to announce to the world that her and her wife are idiots who are you to get in the way?

2011-08-27T06:27:02+00:00

Bad form--people shouldn't be excluding half of the couple they are inviting to weddings, regardless of their genders. And if they really can't see past gender enough to respect the couples with whom they are friends, maybe that friendship needs to be called into question as well.

BronzeLeague · 2011-08-27T15:05:47+00:00

As a gamer, I can't join male-only LAN parties. I think that gender segregation is an upsetting occurrence wherever it happens.

Ormazd · 2011-08-26T20:25:08+00:00

If I was friends with two people who decided to have a female only wedding ceremony. I'd be pretty upset. Who doesn't invite a friend to their wedding? That's a pretty nasty thing to do I think.

It does seem to be a common occurence for girls to exclude guys from whatever, while guys seem to be more inclusive. (Please note that this is a generalization based on my personal experience.)

radamanthine · 2011-08-26T17:31:08+00:00

Is your wife going to go?

faradaykeepscageaway · 2011-08-26T20:11:37+00:00

Do they claim to want equal rights? Or do they simply not give a shit and full-on admit they are sexist?

2011-08-26T23:03:57+00:00

Go anyways. Make them ask you to leave. Cause a scene. ????? Profit!

Bobsutan · 2011-08-27T10:08:44+00:00

That's fine, but your wife under no circumstances can use your joint funds for the wedding gift. If she wants to go and support these bigots then she can foot the bill on her own. Also, feel free to apply the equal rights test:

Ask your wife if she'd be okay with a white couple getting married that said no blacks could attend or vice versa? It's the same exact thing.

calonord · 2011-08-26T17:18:25+00:00

men should be able to gather like that aswell.. why is there a double standard where excluding women violates civil rights law?

pingveno · 2011-08-26T17:24:05+00:00

Did they even give a reason?

Whisper · 2011-08-26T19:02:32+00:00

Depends why.

Are all their friends female? Then it's a coincidence.

Are they making a special effort to exclude males? Then they're bigots, and annoyance is probably appropriate.

2011-08-26T20:03:51+00:00

That's kind of bullshit. Is your wife actually going to go?

megazen · 2011-08-28T00:06:09+00:00

I would never be friends with such a sexist person, who does not allow people of a specific gender to a wedding.

This is like a Nazi who doesn't allow non-whites.

benshere · 2011-08-26T18:27:16+00:00

"should this annoy me"

"help me figure out how I feel about it"

Sounds like you're just looking to be offended

xsdc · 2011-08-26T16:00:57+00:00

Meh, get over it. Getting all self righteous will just bring you to their level. If they talk to you about it or you talk to them about it, just tell them you are disappointed (not annoyed, disappointed) that your gender changes how they feel about you.

poopmachine · 2011-08-26T20:11:11+00:00

I'd wind them up a bit. Invite your mutual friends over for a dinner, tell them it's "straight people only". See if they can appreciate the joke. If they can laugh about it, they're probably worth holding onto. If they get huffy, drop them.

Though I think people having a female only ceremony are probably a bit humorless. Actually I find this to be true of most lesbians I've ever known, completely humorless.

I actually have a deep loathing for lesbians, whenever I meet one I'm almost positive I'm not going to like them. It turns out I never do. Anyone else have this?

EvilPundit · 2011-08-26T15:51:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CromulentRedditor · 2011-08-26T20:29:30+00:00

Maybe if you cross-dressed she'd let you attend? Women can be weird about this shit -- mostly they just want to feel like they're in control.

Baadasssss · 2011-08-26T22:38:39+00:00

Waaaaaaa I didn't get invited to a party better call the waaaaaaaambulance

EDIT: Literally that's all this is. It's like fucking high school or some shit. Customs, especially as they relate to marriage, change all the fucking time. People have had wedding themes based on Legend of Zelda for god's sake. And people get married all the time without the presence (or knowledge) of family members or friends. This is all very socially conservative of you people but that's expected, I suppose.

Title	Ask MR: My lesbian friend is having a women's only wedding ceremony (all guests are female). Should this annoy me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	127
Date	August 26, 2011 3:44 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/jv7dx/ask_mr_my_lesbian_friend_is_having_a_womens_only/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/ask-mr-my-lesbian-friend-is-having-a-womens-only.1035384 https://theredarchive.com/post/1035384

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