Low value pilled man here

Coollogin · 2021-09-05T17:26:04+00:00

If someone dropped an LTR in my lap with all the expectations and dynamics associated with it, I believe I'd do just fine. My problem is starting from zero.

What leads you to think that? Based on your description of yourself (which I realize might not be reliable), you don’t sound like much fun. It’s not the looks part. Since we’re talking hypothetically, we can just put the looks on the shelf. But you don’t seem to have real interests, and it doesn’t sound as if you like to do anything. Also, I get the feeling you’re fairly negative most of the time. It is exhausting to be with some who is always negative.

Maybe I’m reading the wrong things in your post, and you would make a delightful partner. But if you would make a delightful partner, shouldn’t that come through in your post?

qclady · 2021-09-05T19:25:07+00:00

I would say first learn to have relationships with men first. Not romantic relationships but actual connection and caring with other people.

If you are not attracted to men, this will allow to to learn about many factors of a relationship without romance and sexual desire being part of the situation.

Learn emotional responsibility (taking responsibility for your own emotions and reaction to them).

imhereforthemeta · 2021-09-05T21:36:53+00:00

I mean other than the anti feminist stuff, you sound like a lot of my friends. There are a lot of women who are like you if your goal isn’t to date a supermodel who makes buckets of money. Unless you going for an evangelical though, good luck finding someone with that chip on your shoulder about feminism and women. It sounds like you have some personal stuff you can work on.

endlesswar1 · 2021-09-06T00:16:50+00:00

Fuck me no offence dude, but if I met you and you are like this I’d run as far away as I could. You listed all that you think is wrong with you. So why not start fixing it? Hate to burst your bubble but nobody is going to give a shit about you if you don’t. Also nobody is going to fix your issues. These are YOUR issues. You might be able to find help in fixing it but at the end of the day you have to fix it, no one else can.

CitrusyDeodorant · 2021-09-05T16:13:38+00:00

Uh.. I'm sorry, but what exactly is the point of this post besides putting yourself down in front of a bunch of internet strangers?

RedPillDetox · 2021-09-05T15:31:54+00:00

With all due respect... what's your goal with this post? You listed all the areas where you're lacking. Okay, it's a good thing that you're well aware of your weakenesses and strenghts. But then what? You know what you're lacking and you know what you gotta do, right?

vcreativ · 2021-09-05T21:36:39+00:00

I agree with you, I also don't think you're depressed, or least I doubt it's the leading order issue.

Does this resonate with you at all?

"Young children naturally have a playful and curious spirit about them. Sometimes it is fun to just watch them innocently explore the world around them. But if children are not properly attended to, validated, treasured, and loved, this spirit can be squashed and damaged. Many times, parents who are neglectful also use shame and humiliation when the child attempts to get their love and approval. The child may eventually stop trying, and the loneliness that follows may actually be easier to deal with than shame, humiliation, or neglect."

How about this?

"Victims may have difficulty in identifying their emotions. They often feel unhappy or irritable without a clear reason and have trouble calming down when upset. They are often unable to list their strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes, they feel empty inside. Something seems to hold them back from participating in social situations. I struggled with regulating my emotions because I had to suppress them in childhood to avoid angering my parents. I was not taught how to manage my feelings in a healthy way."

To me you sound more traumatised than depressed.

You want to heal without therapy, that's not ideal but it's your prerogative. I'd start by reading around trauma, specifically CPTSD and emotional abandonment in childhood. Find what resonates with you.

Write a journal. Write down how you feel. In the beginning anything will do, just try to listen in to find out how you feel. It's currently masked because that likely turned out to be the better strategy in the past.

Please note I am not an expert and just working based on what I know. Please find one when you understand the therapeutic process a bit better. I don't know what happened specifically, just realise that pain (and at times a lot of it) will be part of the process.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201708/the-long-term-impact-neglectful-parents https://wehavekids.com/parenting/The-Long-Term-Effects-of-Childhood-Emotional-Neglect

I hope this helps.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2021-09-05T16:35:01+00:00

No, I'm generally a very content person.

This is not a bad thing. Most people in capitalist societies have been brainwashed into never being content and chasing the next big thing. That being said having some sort of education/career plan is good for your own financial freedom. College professional degree is one option. Alternate career paths with the electrical and mechanical trades is another path with good prospects in the west.

My main goal in life other than getting a relationship

Can I ask why you want a relationship so badly? While there are some perks to it, it is not the sunshine and roses that romcoms portray. Not trying to dissuade you, but you seem like a chill self-aware person, so curious to know the motivation.

5'0'' balding Indian janitor

As an Indian this bothers me more than it should, mainly because most Indians in the west have college degrees and aren’t janitors. Not that there is anything wrong with being a janitor (they provide a valuable service) but from a western woman’s POV the least attractive part of the meme is the janitor part, not the height or the ethnicity. I know this because I have nephews and sons of fellow Indian immigrant friends who have married western women who can honestly be described as “Stacies”. And the common denominator is these men and women are in the medical field. So having a respected career is only going to increase your attractiveness to women, given your impressive height. Best of luck

bjorknbeanz · 2021-09-05T15:49:14+00:00

Have you ever even questioned why you want a relationship? They can be quite overrated. Do you want kids?

Naus1987 · 2021-09-05T19:03:02+00:00

Buddy, metal detecting sounds like it would be an awesome YouTube series or blog to follow, lol.

LadylikeElectricland · 2021-09-05T15:12:53+00:00

So you want a relationship but you keep convincing yourself that you do not deserve a relationship because with the exception of your height you have nothing else going on for you (mind you, that's your words not mine). Also, while you understand that a relationship won't just drop into your lap, you have a problem with starting from zero.

Well, have you tried some 90-day fiance mail-bride type of bullshit? (/s)

I feel like you are searching for some miracle, some love magick spell, which you hopefully know does not exist. If you want a girlfriend, you have to start dating. You have to start asking women out and accept that some will reject you. There is no other way around this. No sane woman will ever knock on your door and offer herself to be your girlfriend. You have to get out and start dating.

Coollogin · 2021-09-05T20:36:21+00:00

This is going to sound random. How would you feel about learning to play a musical instrument? It would give you something interesting to focus on, and an opportunity to meet people who aren’t so focused on looks. I have heard that the guitar is one of the easiest instruments to learn the basics.

SAHDJoe · 2021-09-05T21:47:46+00:00

-nonissue? “Beaty is only skin deep” is Not just something ppl tell themselves to feel better; one can see the beauty of the soul

-nonissue, subsistence is enough? I mean, live in a standard that you enjoy and don’t back down from hard work. Chasing money is a choice. I’m finally starting to hit five figures/year!

-my goal? Live not by lies and try to help your fellow mankind

-Charisma is half practice? Voice exercises, fake convos in the mirror? Just me??

-the same as man since the dawn of society; the search for Truth with a capital T. Dropped like a rat in a maze, one must find purpose however and wherever the pursuit draws them?

-make new hobbies and keep the old? Also, successful LTRs often have overlapping but not completely the same interests?

-nonissue.

-same🤷‍♂️

-**this point, if I may be so bold, is the point (I think of this sub) of your inner issues around life from your current worldview. Replace ‘feminism’ in your lexicon and replace with ‘egalitarianism’; regard arguments/persuasive statements that don’t fit as not worthwhile? There are more of the latter than the former, I hope. Also, seek your passion and relish the relationships with peers, acquaintances, and friends as they come? You almost seem in a hunting stance from this. Hyper empathy does not ingratiate one to always be deferential in regards to others’ feelings towards themselves. There’s lots of neurodivergent fish in the sea?

-idgaf about someone’s height in regard to relationships, again point one.

-one’s hairstyle, grooming, fashion, etc are for the benefit and best judgement of the owner.

Be you, help us as a society find Truth, love your brother…life isn’t like the board game where they make you stop and pick up a life partner. Love is too hard to find in this crazy rat maze that’s I’m not going to tell anyone that they’re doing it wrong

That final line is poetically insightful. Have you considered a career as a licensed therapist or a social worker ? Empathy is in vogue right now

BabisBaymax · 2021-09-05T16:49:30+00:00

You are me, but male. Except for the appearance, and height (I'm average for a woman).

polarskate · 2021-09-05T17:41:53+00:00

I was thinking still dateable until he said he didn't like anime.

endlesswar1 · 2021-09-06T00:22:01+00:00

Also here’s one for you. You will die. That’s a fact. So who gives a fuck? Just go for whatever you want. Don’t think about it just go for it. You listed all your negatives so it’s clear to me that that is what you want to change. So off you go. Time to grow up dude

Title	Low value pilled man here
Author	KindKitten25055
Upvotes	5
Comments	79
Date	September 5, 2021 2:45 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/pied71/low_value_pilled_man_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/low-value-pilled-man-here.1066765 https://theredarchive.com/post/1066765

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