~ archived since 2018 ~

Some 'men' chime in on who should pay...

GCFDSthrowaway

September 6, 2021

117 upvotes

Archived from /r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information

Title	Some 'men' chime in on who should pay...
Author	GCFDSthrowaway
Upvotes	117
Comments	44
Date	September 6, 2021 12:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pionds/some_men_chime_in_on_who_should_pay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/some-men-chime-in-on-who-should-pay.1067377 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067377

Comments

[–]misscyansirenFDS Newbie 227 points228 points229 points 4 years ago* (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]GCFDSthrowawayFDS Newbie[S] 169 points170 points171 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 147 points148 points149 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]queen-wannabeFDS Newbie 45 points46 points47 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist 68 points69 points70 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GCFDSthrowawayFDS Newbie[S] 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]xfelugirlxFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]08__80FDS Apprentice 160 points161 points162 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

He's so hostile and angry. I think someone needs to explain to men that they do not have to go out on dates with women if they don't want to. No one is forcing them. They are free to remain single for the rest of their lives. They are free to date other men and suck each others dick and split the bill or take turns or whatever they like. They are free to jerk off to porn until their dicks fall off. They are free to purchase sex dolls from the internet (but those ladies won't pay for themselves either, and that might be a turn off. IDK.)

Men really need to sit down and figure out what they want from women:

Free sex

Free Maid service

Free children and childcare

What else?

The right to go fuck around behind her back

What else?

And what does she get in return? Not even a free meal because we are equal now.

I blame the men's parents for this too, you know? It's basic etiquette, whether it's a date or it's two same-sex friends. If you invite, you pay. If you invite but can't pay, you let the other person know BEFOREHAND. Like my friend invited a group of us to a concert and let us know that each ticket would be $XX. And really, don't even call it a date at that point, just call it "two people hanging out and paying for themselves."

[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]08__80FDS Apprentice 47 points48 points49 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mynameisrominkaFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sweet_Bee_8839FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that’s the part that’s so unfathomable to me. I can’t even understand this attitude that some men seem to have that women owe them dates. As if they’ve earned it somehow or someone is obligated to fill their needs.

I think it’s sad how men don’t have emotional support systems to help them deal with their trauma. I think it’s sad that they systematically don’t really have as many ways to meet their relational needs outside of a relationship. But. Honestly that isn’t my fault. If a relationship is the only way they are meeting all their needs then that does make them needy. But I don’t think anyone is ever obligated to date them. Just like I would never say anyone is obligated to be in a relationship with me. The only exception I think is when you’ve committed to being in a relationship with that person.

But that whole rant to say, if you don’t want to date someone who doesn’t split the bill, don’t date them. People have the right to have whatever standards they want. But they also have to acknowledge that will be them limiting their opportunities to be in a relationship.

[–]Big-Respond8481FDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]queen-wannabeFDS Newbie 51 points52 points53 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]MofoMadameFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwaway-fdsFDS Newbie 95 points96 points97 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Basically. I will say I've seen many stand up for women's rights recently as part of the result of the TX bullshit, but it's super important to notice hey, we are absolutely not treated equally still just because some men outwardly support us. Idk why they think women are going to take men's low level issues and bump them to the top of the priority list when we have a laundry list of much more serious problems. Paying for a first date does not hold a candle to our inequality in bodily autonomy and rights, way too common domestic violence and statistical odds of being murdered and r*ped or sold into a human trafficking ring, unequal pay (which compounds over a lifetime), doctors not taking us seriously, having to spend more of our lives babying our partners, looking good, under the microscope for every action, our poor maternity care, etc. All these are significantly worse than the $30 bucks he is complaining about paying at Olive Garden one time

[–]08__80FDS Apprentice 169 points170 points171 points 4 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

"we're not all equal" 💯

Steve isn't worried about getting date r*ped, most likely not his period he has to pay for, nor why the underqualified women got the promotion over him, nor why he was making less than her in the first place with his greater skill and time there. He's not worried about being forced to carry a baby to term and birthing it for hours while his genitals rip to his AH, nor the weight that carries socially. He's not worried about gaining 10 lbs, nor being made to do most of the chores and cooking at home for an unappreciative, lazy slob.

No, we aren't equal, and we have a long way to go. Steve can either shell out the $30 dollars or shut up and keep his cheap ass home

Edit to add: I do nice things and take out my female AND male friends (all HV) occasionally, because I'm not a cheap loser. I don't play restaurant "bill chicken" with them, almost because it's douchey. If i invite, I pay

[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 108 points109 points110 points 4 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]GCFDSthrowawayFDS Newbie[S] 60 points61 points62 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 38 points39 points40 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]08__80FDS Apprentice 79 points80 points81 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 59 points60 points61 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]povofmeFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 80 points81 points82 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]08__80FDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't know how old you are or where you're from but you've probably just never met any "masculine energy" men. These are the kind of men who take pride in working hard and protecting and providing for a woman and family, this doesn't just include wife and kids but also parents and even siblings, nieces, and nephews. To them, a woman offering to pay is like a personal insult. They are the providers, they pay. It's a huge part of their identity and how they view themselves as manly men. The majority of the men I've dated have been like this. One of them when I tried to do the fake reach into my purse thing even got upset. "You really think I'm like those (slur) American guys who just sits there and lets a woman pay?? What kind of losers have you been dating?" (I didn't like his reaction, so I never went out with him again, but that's another story.)

I agree with you that the root cause of this is society enslaving women and not allowing them autonomy and independence. If we had all been self-sufficient and free from day 1, the "who pays for who?" thing wouldn't be a question in the first place. We would be just like same sex couples and take turns, or we'd have our own personal system figured out depending on the couple.

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+]zealousandvain64 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Their argument is so funny. "If we are equal, women should pay." Okay, but we are not equal LOL.

[–]GCFDSthrowawayFDS Newbie[S] 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pinkcorollaFDS Newbie 45 points46 points47 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hot_Procedure1648FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ALysistrataType 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link