I joined again over the weekend, because while I am legitimately good alone its not my best case scenario. And covid is on so I figured, what the heck, I'll see what's out there. Can't be any worse than last time.
I. Was. Wrong.
The vast majority of profiles don't have descriptions, these are automatic nos.
Of the ones with descriptions, 1/60 doesn't have something objectionable right there in the description. By which I mean, openly saying they need someone for money or therapy reasons, weird sex demands, or demands for performance and dancing through hoops to get them to talk. I screenshot some of them but frankly I don't want to give it the air time!
So of the reasonable ones that match, a good 2/3 don't message or respond. Whatever, this isn't a huge problem.
Of the ones that talk, most of them disqualify themselves within 10 messages. If I'm lucky it's because they're boring and have nothing going for them, if I'm unlucky it's because they jump right to something sexual.
There's been 6 that I spoke to for any length of time and here's what happened with each;
School teacher, started dumping his life story on me. And throwing out his achievements and how good and caring he was every other message without really actually speaking. Got clingy after I said I wasn't interested and kept messaging for multiple days after blocked (my phone alerts me).
DnD player, seemed really cool and I was having a good time, until we got into a conversation about shape-shifting and his response to the hypothetical was lady dicks. And way too detailed at that.
Gamer, looked good and we were doing fine riiiight up until he started talking about dom/sub sex and went as far as to say he wanted to break me because of my iron will. 🙄
Artist, actually seems really cool and hasn't done anything wrong yet. Watching and waiting, basically.
Single Dad (I'm a single Mum), talks pleasantly enough and things are fine there, but he did let slip that he can't have a job due to his health conditions and that he quit to spend time with his kid rather than work and have no energy. Which I can respect as a person, buuuut it's not for me.
Fellow gamer, seemed cool and like we were hitting it off, stopped talking and hasn't resumed. 🤷♀️
Now I'm newish to FDS and probably giving each a little more time than they deserve (though that's shrinking!). But oh my God.
This is far worse than even the start of the year before my last relationship and I'm just gobsmacked. We all deserve so much better than this.
[–]thirdtoebeanFDS Newbie 130 points131 points132 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinkPetalCdistbeautyFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thirdtoebeanFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danigirl_03FDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 41 points42 points43 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]umbralgardenFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thirdtoebeanFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]apple_coresFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 52 points53 points54 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]apple_coresFDS Newbie 57 points58 points59 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 22 points23 points24 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]apple_coresFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpicyScroteRoasteryFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]squaremarshmallowFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]balladwildsFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Babooshka-123Pickmeisha™️ 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]balladwildsFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]strcrssdvoyager1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
So one night I was drinking with a friend of a friend and she began telling me about how she's been divorced for a few years now and decided to try dating again but every single man she's talked to has been absolute garbage.
I got a little depressed hearing that the dating pool is a literal sewer full of scummy people.
I hope you find at least one golden koi in a sea of garbage.
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]romantickittyFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 13 points14 points15 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+]chasingastarl1ght1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Demographics speaking, yes there are more men on tinder, however, the general demo of bumble is better. (+ Educated, more people looking for relationship versus hookups). I did a case studies on dating apps for work so I had data and all that. Basically, being on bumble means there's a natural pre selection.
What's important to know is that apps use an elo ratings for people in it. So you see what the apps think you should seex what's at your "level". On bumble especially, if you wanna keep having a good elo rating, it's important to let match expire and start the convo. Otherwise quality of matches will go down.
Speaking of bio: it used to be a deal breaker for me too, until the research I did about users type. Turns out they are two categories of guys without a bio : the one that don't care and just wanna hook up (they tend to have shirtless pics) & the ones that are trying a dating app for the first time - typically guys that are ready to date after a long relationship but don't know where to start. Its not a lack of effort, it's just that the first time you open to swipe, your profile gets pushed to a ton of other users before you have the time to actually adjust it and write something interesting.
Bottom line, if you see a profile that looks like it's just the default profile pictures from facebook uploaded and no bio, it might actually be a really good bet. Think, guy that only ever had long serious relationship but now has to turn to online dating for the first time ever and doesn't know yet how it works cause all his friends are also in long term relationships.
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]chasingastarl1ghtFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Babooshka-123Pickmeisha™️ 14 points15 points16 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Babooshka-123Pickmeisha™️ 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ALocusInTheBiosphereFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]EarthKveikFDS Apprentice 10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]EarthKveikFDS Apprentice 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JinxhourglassFDS Apprentice 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]penelopekittyFDS STRATEGY COACH 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link