Driven by powerful urges, doomed to approach women continually and largely fail in their approaches, men often see the dating world as a challenging uphill battle upon which rests the validation of their existence on earth by themselves or other men.

To not be seen as attractive by women, to not have had sex with a minimum amount of women is to be less of a man.

Plus, there is a complex set of rules and requirements all men must follow in order to gain access to female love and physical affection, and yet no one has provided them with a reliable instruction manual. And the rules keep shifting and changing with each woman they speak to.

It’s an endless list of needs, wants, special considerations, qualities and standards most women have that must be appeased and met before the man is allowed to get close. Be manly, be sensitive, be rough, but be gentle. Be exciting but faithful and dependable, be a supportive father, a good listener and a bad boy who rides a motorcycle.

All of this while being told by society that they are likely to rape and assault any given women, that they are filled to the brim with sexism and misogyny and that they are operating under “toxic masculinity”. With all of these prejudices and expectations, rules and regulations, it’s not hard to imagine why they are at a loss 90% the time.

Often men are rejected coldly and unthinkingly by the women they approach, women who are sick of being approached their whole lives and who have grown jaded and dismissive. Also, the requirements of a woman can change depending on her mood and the point of the hormone cycle.

There is also the chance of a false rape accusations if you do not perform good enough, or she regrets it.

Another common story is for men having their heart broken early and badly by one specific person. The research shows that young men (as well as older men) have a harder time even than women do post-break-up of a serious relationship. So this can lead to certain men becoming really jaded, which then can feedback in terms of their issues with women.

A lot of guys who seem like they might be ass holes are sort of broken, once-were nice guys. This only adds fear and anxiety to the prospect of repeating the approach with the next woman. Some men drop out and cannot handle the stress. They have never cracked the code and are exhausted by the effort of trying and failing repeatedly.

Some men lose their minds. Men long for a warm and loving partner.

Someone forgiving, exciting, relaxing, someone they can let their guard down around, who won’t make them feel like a filthy beggar or a criminal. Someone kind.

Some men will deny it, some women will also deny,disregard or not want to believe it. This is the hard and cruel facts.