Paying off someone else’s debt?

tiedyetoothpicks · 2021-12-27T08:41:22+00:00

I saw it and thought the same thing. It's hard for me to feel pure happiness for them without knowing more context about the relationship. I've just seen too much shit. For her sake I hope that he's a good man and that she has the funds to make a gesture like that without it hurting her own financial situation at all.

lolmemberberries · 2021-12-27T15:07:51+00:00

This is a bad idea. The money she's putting towards improving his financial situation is money she's taking away from improving her own.

Sage_Planter · 2021-12-27T17:08:18+00:00

The problem with situations like this is that the woman usually isn't making tons of money and is scrapping together dollars to pay of debt or to treat her man. It's like "I didn't eat out, buy tampons, or get a hair cut for 9 months in order to save an extra $250/mo. for him!" After months of sacrifice, she surprises him, he's thrilled, but forgets within a few years. He doesn't appreciate it after a while.

My dad paid off my mom's debt when they were dating. He was a making a lot of money at the time, and for him, it was a pretty insignificant amount. That's not usually the case when women are the ones fronting the bill.

LizzoSaidTruthHurts · 2021-12-27T17:30:08+00:00

If it’s a girlfriend, major NO. If it’s a wife, then I have less of an issue with it. Her financial future is tethered to his. They would already have lots of joint expenses and if they want to buy a home, she gets held back by his debt regardless. When you’re married, financially “his” and “hers” gets very much intertwined so I don’t mind couples paying off each other’s debt.

fds_throwaway_4_u · 2021-12-27T17:28:39+00:00

Keepers12345 · 2021-12-28T03:21:40+00:00

One major lesson that I've learned this year is:

Do not to do for others what they can do for themselves.

When a man takes on debt, it's with the understanding that one will be responsible for paying off that debt.

Now that it's paid off, he is free to do whatever, and ditch his plan and responsibilities.

I'm not against a man paying off a woman's debt.

However, there is a significant difference between a man being financially supportive (paying off his SO's debt, so that they can build a life together with less burdens) and a woman paying off her SO's debt (which does what, exactly?).

I really don't know how doing that for him was helpful for her. I didn't watch the video. Granted, it's not like the video would necessarily provide me with more context.

I'm just wondering what made her feel compelled to pay off his debt.

Was he using his debt as an excuse not to go on dates together?
2. An excuse to work long hours?
3. A reason why they couldn't get married and/or buy a home?

It's hard to imagine that her life, and their relationship, will be better in the long run because she came to his rescue.

She could have spent that money on furthering her goals, or invested it, or anything other than donating it to him.

Shame. I hope she makes a follow-up video at some point, warning women not to follow in her footsteps.

Muffcakelord · 2021-12-27T13:49:38+00:00

First off it's cringe because of the insane advantage men have economically compared to women.

Secondly it's risky since men have a pattern of leaving their partner in correlation to their increase in status and money

It's like a super cheeky slap to their own face with only a small reward of temporary distraction and a risk of further damage

vitryolic · 2021-12-27T08:42:19+00:00

This is the height of Pickme-ism, and a sure fire way to get taken for granted. This man for whatever reason has not managed his money in a way he is currently debt free- yet learns no lesson when someone swoops in and pays it for him. It breeds entitlement and lack of responsibility.

One day this woman will look back and think about all the things she could have spent her hard-earned money on, to benefit her. These ladies need an FDS intervention. You can’t buy your way into a man’s love or loyalty.

vaguelinen · 2021-12-27T10:34:57+00:00

Now he’s debt free he’ll think he’s levelled up so will start looking around for a new improved partner.

__kamikaze__ · 2021-12-27T18:05:05+00:00

HELL NO.

Their debt— a MAN’s debt— is NOT your problem. Spend that money on someone better like yourself.

SpiteTomatoes · 2021-12-27T17:45:25+00:00

You are not fucked up for thinking that bc in my experience, that's what tends to happen. I was working on saving up to help my ex pay off his carelessly accrued CC debt only for him to cheat on me 2 days after I put a deposit down on a wedding venue with my own money. Luckily, I got it back and never spent a cent towards his debt.

cookiemonstergirls · 2021-12-29T04:49:33+00:00

I do not agree with paying of a man’s debt unless he is your husband and has helped you through financial hardships. Never for a boyfriend. It is so normal in our society for men to use women, especially broke, cheating, boyfriends using their girl friends.

cutiebranch · 2021-12-27T19:10:03+00:00

Nope. Nope nope nope.

If they have debt they incurred it for a reason, and need to take responsibility.

If it’s a “necessary” debt, like a student loan, mortgage, car payment, etc, money spent paying it down would have been better spent invested, as interest rates are lower than average roi. Plus they might have a plan for that debt (I could pay off my mortgage today, but between tax credits on interest and the low rate, I’d rather invest that money)

If it’s unnecessary debts (mounds of CC debt) it points to fiscal irresponsibility, and this clean slate will only encourage him

Some-Air9442 · 2021-12-27T15:29:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

annedr3ww · 2021-12-28T06:08:01+00:00

esthermaniii · 2021-12-29T18:35:28+00:00

I saw it. She responded on Twitter that this is about her family as a whole blah blah blah she doesn’t care about the “never give a man money” comments. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I’m like okay sis, but there’s a high chance that this will back fire. It also sounds like she’s making way more money than him now due to her social media platforms going viral.

Title	Paying off someone else’s debt?
Author	mareetran
Upvotes	198
Comments	29
Date	December 27, 2021 8:16 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rpim6g/paying_off_someone_elses_debt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/paying-off-someone-elses-debt.1090467 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090467

Comments

Do not to do for others what they can do for themselves.