is it just me or does this comment scream Stockholm syndrome? I’m sorry; but why all the excuses for a pos because it’s his kink? it wasn’t about shaming OP, we are trying to protect you when we say his behavior is not okay. Update to one of my most recent post.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-12-27T12:56:28+00:00

I like how she’s like ‘I WILL NOT LET HIM MANIPULATE ME’ meanwhile she’s been manipulated and scammed this entire time. The pickmeisha delusion is real

redpeithos · 2021-12-27T12:10:22+00:00

Deleting the pictures of her WITH his knowledge? Seriously? Anyone with more than two braincells knows that it is so easy to make a backup on a separate harddrive you hide from your girlfriend beforehand.

You can tell she only really posted to receive affirmation that everything is alright and that she doesn't need to worry. Instead, people decided to be honest and give her proper advice.

Honestly, I want to feel bad for these kind of women, but the only things I can feel bad for are their naivety and foolish stubbornness.

scorchedsouI · 2021-12-27T11:24:41+00:00

What a load of bullshit. She keeps babbling on about nonsense, he knows, I know, we know, like what? It's your boyfriend's job to gaslight the shit out of you with the most absurd male-tier logic and mental gymnastics, let him do it girl.

Underreacting? Freaking out? She's so unreasonable that the only potential reactions in her mind are inappropriate for the situation, unless of course the normal reaction of breaking up for this perverted violation of trust and privacy is equivalent to "freaking out" for her.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but a man evoking the need in a woman to snoop through every nook and cranny of his phone is a red flag by itself. What the fuck has her subconscious been picking up on for a long time now, for her to be so obsessive and paranoid about what he does behind her back? And doesn't she realize that she felt that way for a reason, after all?

bookworm1896 · 2021-12-27T12:11:01+00:00

Never ever send nudes to a guy. You immediately lose control of these pictures of yourself and make yourself vulnerable.

There is no way to completely erase a picture that has been posted online!

There is no excuse for a guy sharing your nudes with anybody without your consent. You should immediately contact the police and make screenshots of it, to save these proofs.

Even if you send nudes without your face he might send another harmless pic with your face so still everybody might know who the nude shows.

To the poor woman in the original post: I don't know how brainwashed one has to be to excuse such a criminal hurtful behaviour. She'll never be able to trust him again. Sharing nudes is a serious NVM behaviour and shows that she always has to be careful around that guy.

Please be careful, ladies!

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-12-27T12:29:38+00:00

How does she know he doesn't have a second phone? Has she gone through all his files and downloads? Accessed his secret and locked files and apps? I really don't think so.

She knows he's a POS because she was compelled to do an extensive search through his phone. Everyone can see she's deluding herself. She will wake up when he leaves her.

Georgerobertfrancis · 2021-12-27T15:22:12+00:00

“I know his passwords to apps he didn’t tell me he has.”

Oh my. She’s proud that she’s had to find and break into the apps he was hiding from her.

Send me to Jesus now, please.

EDIT: Obviously the primary issue here is the obscenely invasive and unapologetic sexual abuse. But on a secondary level, I want every woman to know that the minute you have to search your partner’s phone and check everything to monitor them, your relationship is over. And this is a cautionary tale of just how harmful a man’s hiding, lying, and betrayal can be.

mareetran · 2021-12-27T10:55:57+00:00

Sunken cost fallacy is real and I just can’t process how she’s saying she knows 100% that he hasn’t shared it on the internet or among friends. As if doing that with strangers makes it any better. Also how she’s still driving down the point that she won’t invade his privacy any more even though snooping through his phone is far less harmful than sharing nudes without consent. People see your face and your body in separate shots? It’s still objectifying her… I’m just… this is when I step back because it’s clear some women don’t want to listen to reason. She’s trying to convince herself that she’s strong and not susceptible to narcissistic abuse, but it’s so evident that this man is detrimental to women.

Edit: To be clear, I’m not hating on this woman. I used to want to protect my own rapist because he was my boyfriend. It’s not right.

Edit 2: Hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I feel really terrible though now because it appears that I have been banned from posting on femaledatingstrategy. I’m unsure why from FDS since I didn’t include the subreddit name or the username 😔 I’m sorry to vent. I can still view likewise, but not post or comment. Sigh. I’m sorry mods if I missed a rule. If any FDS members can DM me, it’s much appreciated. I feel quite discouraged. This subreddit meant a lot to me.

Edit 3: A mod messaged me to inform me my ban is because my account had too much personal identifiable information, which I completely understand now because Reddit scrotes do attack and harass women on here. I will try to make an alternate instead and submit comments/posts until I’m approved again. I’m sorry I got excited to post on this account after waiting for a flair all year :,) it will be worth the safety and peace of mind to get re-approved.

FlockAroundtheClock · 2021-12-27T12:48:35+00:00

How pathetic. Why ask for advice if you love him so much you will twist yourself into pretzels to make excuses for his bad behavior?

Carneliancat · 2021-12-27T13:20:34+00:00

Ooh, she's going to be FIRM with him. Well, that should show him and clear this little misunderstanding completely! And I'm sure he's going to take her completely seriously! Phew! Crisis averted!

Oh my god, this poor sucker. She is trying desperately to believe her own gaslighting. It's like she's in a leaky paddle boat on a lake. She's paddling furiously, but the boat is filling with water. Paddling, paddling, paddling, going nowhere while the water creeps up to her neck. Tragic is about the right word for this situation. If your relationship with anyone calls for this many mental gymnastics, that should be your first clue that there is something very, very wrong.

witts_end_confused · 2021-12-27T14:15:51+00:00

I read this and was screaming « GET THE FUCK OUT AND PRESS CHARGES »….she needs to understand this is never okay nor acceptable

I read her responses…the delusion with PIckmes is real …what in the fuck

fuckbeingautobanned · 2021-12-27T15:44:17+00:00

One of the comments below that ABSOLUTELY roasted her in hopes she'd have more self-respect.

"This bloke disrespects you in such a disgusting manner and you clearly don’t have any self respect, which is incredibly frustrating to read. What’s the point in asking for advice if you’re going to ignore what people have said to you? If this doesn’t end in you dumping his ass then I don’t know what else to tell you."

*AND*

"Like who tf gets violated like this and their first thought is “better ask Reddit” and not “wow, better dump him and get out asap” ?????"

Gosh. The last line comes from a girl who likes to pretend she's a rock while she's not.

2021-12-27T14:33:05+00:00

Sounds like he found out about her post and gaslit her overnight. This is why it takes many, many tries to finally leave them.

Chezhire-Cat · 2021-12-27T14:57:07+00:00

She says she only wanted to obtain “calm responses” so basically only responses that don’t challenge her destructive tendencies and support her staying in a bad relationship.

There’s no helping her if she doesn’t want to change :(

ArtisticBrilliant491 · 2021-12-27T17:07:59+00:00

She should ask him how he'd feel if she shared nude pics of his tiny little penis as tribute to her friends and strangers. Would he feel comfortable with her doing that? Me thinks no even considering that alot of men like this POS are so depraved they might actually get off on it.

I'm going to bet that he turned the tables on her and makes every single thing her fault. If she stays with him she'll always be wondering if his friend Chad knows what her nipples look like. Girl, stop. Stop.

elainejay82 · 2021-12-27T18:50:45+00:00

This girl is in a highly emotionally abusive relationship. There is a reason for all the cognitive dissonance and it's not because she is a dumbass. It's because she is being abused.

Her statement at the end about how she is strong and will not be manipulated, is because she was strong and cannot believe, YET, how badly she got manipulated by this dude. Abusers can oftentimes choose very strong women to manipulate, gaslight, and dupe.

Cognitive dissonance from gaslighting and manipulation takes a long time to get rid of. First, she would have to recognize this as abuse and that alone would take a long time to sink in because abuse does not always look like a bruise or telling someone what they cannot wear.

This is just the beginning of a lonnnng journey for her to figure out what's really going on in her relationship. Regardless of her update, she is sitting with the true act of what was done to her and attempting to untangle the bullshit she is living in and it's going to take a long time.

Although I think this is educational for other women to see, I don't think it's fair to ridicule her. This dude is pulling so many mental gymnastics on her, she doesn't know which way is up at this point.

GlitteryMoss · 2021-12-27T14:57:56+00:00

Sunk cost fallacy, three years with a lvm have been 'invested'.

Wants to cOmmUnIcATe.

zorra666 · 2021-12-27T13:37:53+00:00

What is this 'tribute' nonsense?

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