I still don't trust women

RealRussShackleford · 2021-12-12T02:35:32+00:00

Just slow down. Trust with anyone, regardless of gender and even regardless of relationship type takes time. Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a business relationship, it takes time for trust to build.

When you’re going to make yourself vulnerable, like in a romantic relationship it takes time for you to build up the trust to be willing to do so. Just slow down and let the trust build and if the person breaks the trust then leave. That advice is universal, regardless of whether you’re a man trying to build a romantic relationship or a woman trying to find investors for your business or anything else in between.

JUST_WANTTOBEHAPPY · 2021-12-12T03:40:39+00:00

I think in general we all have a reserved suspicion for everyone we come across, man or woman. So your feeling is valid, even if it's only entirely on woman.

I think the challenge isn't to convinced you logically but you have to start interacting w/ woman more on a platonic level. Not looking for romantic interest, just platonic. It seems to help me so it's just my advice

Know that any gender, man or woman, cis or trans, has the capacity to hurt human being. Gender has nothing to do with how trustworthy someone is. I hope eventually you can make peace with the turmoil thats inside you

princessbubbbles · 2021-12-12T03:56:19+00:00

Do you have platonic friendships with women? That helps a lot of people. I made a post about the majority of my(F) negative social experiences being with women. I hear you, dude. I still sometimes get paranoid about whether or not they're going to hurt me, but I've made progress. I have some female friends, even if the majority are male. I now work at a place that is majority female, and my anxiety was through the roof for a while, complete with constant analysis of my whether or not my behaviors were normal and positive enough (I'm an aspie with a monotonous voice). Now that it's been almost a year and the shoe hasn't dropped, I'm relaxing much more lol. Anyway, micro-exposures and exposure in a setting free from romantic pressure can help you.

mammajess · 2021-12-12T06:56:26+00:00

Women go through these phases with men too. It's a trauma response, after something awful happens to you the brain is looking for danger all the time. The key is to intentionally go looking for examples of women that are more complex and more positive than the redpill gospel allows. For me I have a history of sexual trauma and domestic violence at the hands of men I loved, it's really hard to deal with and I could just go look at rad fem stuff that says all men are horrible animals and live in that traumatised headspace but what a waste of life that would be. What a waste of the love I actually do feel for men! So I choose to find creators on YouTube that are reasonable men who support reasonable women. I choose to watch videos about men who had similar experiences to me so I can see that my experience is less gendered in many ways than I think it is. I have also had professional therapy. Your brain is doing a pretty normal thing to keep you safe, it kept your ancestors alive thousands of years ago which is why you are still here. Humans are very neurotic apes. Trouble is that in the life we live now these trauma responses are about different things in many cases and our reactions can ruin our chances of happiness so we have to intentionally tame them. If we don't there are LOTS of people in politics and entertainment - various grifters - who are happy to sink their teeth into us and use our fear to get more votes or more views etc. Good luck with your healing <3

pinkchuuu · 2021-12-12T11:04:59+00:00

You really think that women/girls aren't scared of this too? 💀

ImaginationBasic97 · 2021-12-12T20:49:59+00:00

I’ve found a lot of you red pill men don’t fear a woman leaving you for better, you just don’t believe you’re good enough, and while not wanting to do anything about it you guys project. That’s why red pill is funny to me as a woman, because it’s counterproductive. You guys think you’re winning by having the mentality that it teaches, but ultimately it boost up your ego which is naturally fragile, not your actual confidence. How do you think women feel when we’re told we hit a wall and men always go for younger hotter women? Why date then, cause as I get older here goes a man slowly finding me less attractive as I age and will eventually leave. I don’t have that mentality though. Everybody is different and has different mentalities. You guys are essentially following someone’s opinion that a whole bunch of people agree with. That respectfully speaking, doesn’t make it a fact, just a general perception. No different then religion. The more you tell yourself that, the better. You’re essentially living life by someone else’s opinion and perception. Women don’t even leave men because they’re red pill, the greatest turn off as a woman is a man that doesn’t listen to himself. His gut, his intuition, his own manhood. You’re giving your power away by being a follower. Jesus wasn’t the greatest because of the beliefs associated with him, he was the greatest because even though he was hated by many, he still followed his own way of living. That’s a man. You guys need to really get to know yourselves outside of women. Know what you like and not what you like because it’ll get you women. Know what you don’t like and stand firm in that even if it draws some women away. There’s sooooo many people on this planet. You will find the one for you. Literally. We as people have to stop thinking we are the only ones that feel the way we do and if we do, it’s only in the same sex. There is someone of the opposite gender that will think you are perfect. And not in the way that you don’t have flaws, but in the way where your flaws will be beautiful to her because it’ll make you, you. The thing that separates us and makes us different isn’t our similarities as people but our differences.

MelissaOfTroy · 2021-12-12T02:21:28+00:00

I still don't trust men. So many people, including people I know and loved, have been killed by men. And statistics bear it out, that my fears are justified. Men kill each other and women at alarming rates. Sometimes I wish I'd never learned these facts so that I could just coexist with men without knowing how prone to violence they are.

w1gw4m · 2021-12-12T04:35:47+00:00

Men are just as likely to leave women for someone hotter, younger, etc. A relationship is not a guarantee of forever after and endless loyalty. There is always a level of uncertainty and risk in any relationship, even in marriages that last decades. It's not because people are monsters, it's because people are people.

But that's part of the beauty of romance. You simply have to take a leap of faith and learn to live with the idea that people are autonomous, things might change, you or your partner might change and relationships can fail. People go through divorces all the time, they move on, they find someone else and start over. This is just life, accepting it is a sign of emotional maturity.

Rad1Red · 2021-12-12T15:58:30+00:00

And how could I deal with those insecurities?

My husband was hurt before meeting me and he was rather insecure about women. Not hating them, mind you, just afraid they would "see him as a brother". It took time and a lot of love and reassurance from my part to rid him of that. But it's work I did not mind doing. :)

Train your brain that women are not the enemy. A lot of people, of all genders, are sh*tty and stupid. That is a fact of life. But great people can be found as well, and among them is your future partner. When she comes along, you must be ready to let her in. She will help you get rid of your insecurity with love.

But... here comes the part many young men are not told. YOU must be worthy of her as well. And not in a redpill way (that, men are told - "you will not be loved unless you are rich or X or Y kind of arsehole). In a "what women really want" way. You must be prepared to be not the man Redpill Coach needs, but the man SHE needs. A loving man capable of commitment, with worthy goals and who can be a good partner in life.

Edit: word.

BMXTKD · 2021-12-12T04:15:04+00:00

This is normal. You had an abusive relationship, and you are suffering from trauma from that relationship. You just have to remember that not every woman is like that, most women are not like that, but women who are like that are potentially dangerous.

medlabunicorn · 2021-12-12T07:06:12+00:00

All adult humans, regardless of gender, have their own independent hopes, needs, and desires. That doesn’t make them bad, but it does make some of them not-ideal-partners for others. We have to find someone whose motivations match our own, not just - as Terps assert- someone whose hotness matches ours.

vcreativ · 2021-12-12T21:49:54+00:00

she will leave you for a hotter/better/more successful man

This may well happen on occasion. If this is genuinely how she ticks, isn't traceable to your behaviour and you were a good version of yourself, then there's not a lot to do on your part.

If it's unchangeable then there's just not a whole lot to be upset at. Even better, to be with a woman like that is a rat race, it's ok to quit and/or be quit.

24 is really quite young, so don't beat yourself up about not having your life figured out. And even if you were x0+ it doesn't really matter. Work with what you have and aim to be the most authentic version of yourself at any time.

You'll always be able to change if you want to.

vptran31 · 2021-12-12T21:59:10+00:00

i opt for the eastern mindset.

and that begins with removing the craving of attachment from your life.

you have to realize you never know the future. vows can't barricade you from the whims of fate

you can only do what you can and learn to live with the result

tapavam · 2023-08-16T06:44:00+00:00

I can relate to that for sure. I don't know if u know sadhguru, he says something like - if u fall in love and then get ur heartbroken over and over again will lead you to not trust anybody anymore.

For me honestly (i might be that sensitive) one time was enough for that to happen it seems

But at the same time i kinda know all this is just psychological reality, not existential.

Usually if something really hurt u its better to always remember so u dont walk into the same troubles again.

As a matter of fact i don't know and am really confused so i don't want to make any statement but truth is only ur intelligence is turning against you. Once this happens noone can help you, i would recommend anybody reading this better do inner engineering by sadhguru

WhereasCompetitive73 · 2024-08-19T10:56:17+00:00

Instead of looking for beautiful and material women, look for ordinary and intelligent ones. They are loyal and educated. They can be beautiful because care is not a stereotype of a woman. You need her soul, not just her vagina. Most beautiful women are narcissistic, have low self-esteem, are disgusting and pretend to sell too much, especially if we are ugly, they are think you will get cheaper if you are ugly too don't look for it apparently I don't even believe in beautiful women I can't tell them apart from perverted demons who are crazy about money rather than love

longtongu · 2024-09-25T10:32:53+00:00

All of the dating sites just wants your money in fact the the women are not real it makes men not to trust women anymore I'm so fed up it this there are so many single men and women in this world because of this fake women. Women have changed so much now 20 Years ago women was so much better than today it makes you hate women of this age in life women will always cheat and lie to there husbands they are not honest or loyal

DiabloTheDreamer · 2021-12-12T15:40:47+00:00

It's a sad fucked up reality when i say that the only woman i trust is my mother and that says a lot about the state of this clown society

BMXTKD · 2021-12-12T01:46:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AutoModerator · 2021-12-12T01:29:59+00:00

Please note that this account has negative karma and may not yet be a trusted commenter for this sub.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

tuniscoming · 2021-12-12T17:50:00+00:00

I guess what's hard for me to wrap my head around is why some people in the red pill space think that the issues they mention only apply to men. Even to your point about "she will leave you for a hotter/better/more successful man", women are told all the time that their husband may leave them for a younger/hotter/new woman lol. And it happens. Same way it happens for men. That is not a gender specific trope.

Bella_Dicax · 2021-12-12T18:44:21+00:00

You can totally overcome it! That fear of abandonment is common at any age, in any gender and is caused by many things. You just found a community that scapegoated that insecurity onto women. Abandonment is an internal fear that can be worked on via self-reflection, coping strategies, therapy, supportive friends, etc. As long as you’re making an active effort to dismantle that thought process, you’re moving in the right direction.

skon7 · 2021-12-12T19:53:42+00:00

I’m a women and the red pill movement on women has made many women more cynical too because they bash women for every thing. Having a career, our personalities, our sexual habits, our looks, our ability to have kids, our age, ect so I think it’s poison for everyone in some level.

You have to take opinions with a grain of salt as some social standard matters but also know how to be true to yourself too because not everyone is the same, we are all individuals

Is you need to talk, DM me

scott195 · 2021-12-12T20:29:46+00:00

You are allowed to not trust the sex you're interested in. Hell if you're a homosexual you can be hurt and then not trust men.

If you've been hurt when your vulnerable and intimate it's only normal to fear and not trust. Don't worry about it.

Trust is for the naive and the courageous. So don't trust at the start and get better :)

2021-12-16T23:13:02+00:00

End up a relationship and start another relationship = being a cold heart Monster.

Sometimes men set up the bar of evil behaviour so high...Like, she can steal you, rape you, kill you...but no! The worst thing women can do is end up a relationship and go with another man. I do believe women are the kinder sex because of shit like this.

RightHandle6888 · 2022-04-12T17:35:29+00:00

Take the fucking red pill

MrObviousTalks · 2022-08-17T09:14:55+00:00

It's not toxic, its just the truth. This subreddit is embarrassing.

Title	I still don't trust women
Author	lalalandlolx
Upvotes	36
Comments	87
Date	December 12, 2021 1:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/redult/i_still_dont_trust_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-still-dont-trust-women.1092941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092941

Comments