Are one night-stands something to avoid?

fightniteflight12 · 2022-03-24T13:50:04+00:00

I would never do a one night stand. They are really not worth the risk. Don't get me wrong I've tried that but if I had to go back I would have rather paid someone in Reno. The one night stand I had wasn't good and was awkward. Just find someone to love and get out of the house you are 23. Take the Ls and ask out as many real chicks as possible. One will say yes.

YUPitsME_RICK · 2022-03-24T14:00:20+00:00

watch out for crazies

Jonger1150 · 2022-03-24T13:44:54+00:00

Find a girlfriend.

Doesn't mean you have to get married.

ThrillaDaGuerilla · 2022-03-24T13:48:58+00:00

Those are 2 concerns, but not reasons to avoid ONSs.

ONS are great for temporary safisfaction, but at the cost of your overall self-esteem.

That's the primary reason to avoid them.

they_be_cray_z · 2022-03-24T16:03:36+00:00

STDs, false accusations, women who just want to get pregnant. There's a lot of risk. Also, for your own mental health, don't make your first time a one-night stand. Make it with someone who really cares about you.

Any-Examination2880 · 2022-03-24T13:03:43+00:00

Why are they drunk? Lol Your first time should not be intoxicated…Especially a drunk woman. If they have to be drunk to have sex with you then get outta there 🚩🚩🚩🚩

GreatGrizzly · 2022-03-24T15:22:42+00:00

Yes there is truth to both points you made. However, you have to gauge your risk tolerance. I would avoid the hookup culture and find a long term girlfriend.

Remember: Make woman prove to you that they are worthy of a relationship, not the other way around!

Atheisthater42069 · 2022-03-24T13:36:03+00:00

Yes it is very something to avoid. Avoid it like the fucking plague

Royal_IDunno · 2022-03-24T15:17:04+00:00

Yea avoid it, don’t wanna be accused of anything or even baby trapped.

rarmin_qosets · 2022-03-24T14:47:24+00:00

Use protection

megathrowaway420 · 2022-03-24T15:25:02+00:00

I would stay away. Tons of risk, the reward is just how much fun you get out of wooing and sleeping with someone. Why not try establish an actual rapport with someone before? Even if it's primarily a physical relationship, getting to know someone first is way better IMO. Less chance of post-alcohol regret, less STD chances. Ultimately comes down to you tho.

jady1971 · 2022-03-24T18:39:41+00:00

there's a high chance of being accused of rape afterwards

That is just not true, there are far more one night stands than rape accusations.

Now that being said, it can happen so, watch out for crazies, learn to see red flags FAST and do not ignore them.

The_Holier_Muffin · 2022-03-24T18:44:57+00:00

I’m gonna go against the grain here. Obviously STDs and rape accusations are something to think about, but I’ve had plenty without that being an issue. Just feel out the woman and the situation and use protection. Don’t live your life in fear!

Be smart and if you are a good judge of character you got nothing to worry about

velvetalocasia · 2022-03-24T12:40:05+00:00

How about not having sex with a drunk girl, but with one who has her senses together?

VeteranOfDepression · 2022-03-24T15:02:55+00:00

You should absolutely avoid one night stands. You should find a girlfriend instead. Most dudes I know prefer love and affection over sex, and having a girlfriend is much, much better than a one night stand.

sgt_oddball_17 · 2022-03-24T15:26:12+00:00

Yes, unless you want to drastically increase your odds of a false rape accusation.

OlivineTanuki · 2022-03-24T13:16:38+00:00

Well, since you can’t consent under the influence of alcohol, they do have the right to say it was rape. Make sure no one is drunk before consenting

Rigbot350 · 2022-03-24T14:54:29+00:00

You don’t have to put emphasis on sex. Your goal is to find a girlfriend and hopefully a lifelong partner, not someone to lose your virginity to.

bionicmook · 2022-03-24T16:27:12+00:00

I’m a white woman, and I have never once in my life regretted sleeping with a guy because of his skin color. I would also never falsely accuse any man of sexual assault. Period. If you get an opportunity to have consensual sex with a woman and you’re into it, I say go for it. If you’re more comfortable waiting for something more long term, that’s fine too. But please don’t let your friend convince you that every one night stand with a white woman will end with a rape conviction. That’s just crazy.

hifi3xx · 2022-03-24T17:31:18+00:00

I don't know about the race side of things. But yeah one night stands could very easily get you charged with rape because she woke up with regrets, or she woke up not remembering last night because she was too drunk. (Which is fucked if you were equally as drunk and don't remember anything as well)

Bassinium_1049 · 2022-03-24T18:22:03+00:00

I am 23(M) and still a virgin as well. I would much rather do it with someone whos is going to 1. Care about me the way I want to be cared for 2. Someone who is actually worth my time, long-term and 3. Someone who I can actually trust. The only problem has been finding someone who will do at least one of those things, let alone all three.

delsystem32exe · 2022-03-24T18:31:50+00:00

who gives a damn, u do what you want. i mean its subjecive anyway.

most of the comments here are hypocritical. some will say no, but then yet they did it, so there contradicting them selves then come up with some excuse to just make themselves feel better and repeat reasonings why not here.

the point is it doesnt matter what you do.

AbysmalDescent · 2022-03-24T15:48:28+00:00

If you have an opportunity for a one-night stand, take it. It'll be fun and it will give you experience, which will serve you better than a night alone or an attempt at a relationship that could just end up going nowhere or getting flaked on.

We still live in a culture in which men are expected to lead and take charge, romantically and sexually, with women. This means that a lack of experience and confidence(which comes from experience) will work against you a majority of the time with women, which could also end up soft-locking you out of most relationships and a normal development.

The chances of "morning after regret" are always there but relatively low. Just use your best judgement. Most importantly, don't take a girl home for a one-night stand if she doesn't seem sober enough to make sound decisions(i.e. drank too much or on drugs).

SandorYarpClegane · 2022-03-24T14:38:38+00:00

You don’t need a woman. $3000 sex doll is all you need.

Basketballjuice · 2022-03-24T15:40:03+00:00

True, but your friend seems to be overblowing it. You'll probably be fine.

If you're worried, just record your conversations.

2022-03-24T16:05:20+00:00

Your friend is right on both counts:

False rape accusations.
High risk of false accusations because of your race.

I would personally add two more reasons:

Promiscuous women are more likely to have an STD. If she is down to fuck you, think of all the guys she's been with. I just read an article about NYC being back to partying again. Reading this actually made me cringe:

"My friend hooked up with five guys last weekend"

Talk about the cock carousel...

For me personally, I don't like to have sex with a stranger. I need to work up to sex. I enjoy the dating process, establishing a rapport, getting to know the woman. I enjoy flirting and the sexual tension. I need some romance. One night stands would not be fun at all for me.

the_dank_666 · 2022-03-24T17:11:12+00:00

Avoid them because sex is supposed to make you more emotionally attached to that person. If you have sex with a different person every week you're conditioning your body to see every future relationship as less significant.

NwbieGD · 2022-03-24T17:19:38+00:00

Not sure what country the fuck you're in but not that I know of here

KaenenM · 2022-03-24T17:32:47+00:00

They're kinda like Taco Bell... really great in the moment and then at some point (if you weren't into the girl that much) you just feel shitty.

I avoided them in my early twenties after a few.

2022-03-24T17:45:45+00:00

I wouldn’t avoid a one night stand because of a fear of getting falsely accused. That’s silly. I would avoid it because usually it sucks. That’s just me personally though. I don’t really like fucking people I barely know very much.

modernmanadvicecom · 2022-03-24T15:29:47+00:00

I would say so. Especially because of the former. It is easy for a woman to have drunken sex, feel shame, and then counterattack with a rape allegation. No questions will be asked from the police or judge and unless there are plenty of CCTV recordings you are most likely doomed. And even if proven innocent, your reputation, career, friends, etc will be long gone by then. It is also a mindset matter because you are solidifying the idea that sex is simply masturbating with somebody's body. It devalues the whole thing. It also makes you weak, because it can most likely lower your standards and self-respect for a simple vagina. Not saying avoid sex, just make sure you set and withhold firm standards and learn how to vet women you want to have sex with.

Yamochao · 2022-03-24T15:57:42+00:00

jfc this is bogus.

Your friend sounds like someone who's afraid of women, hates women, and has probably never gotten laid himself.

Women don't want to randomly accuse someone they had consensual sex with of rape. It's a dragged out court battle, typically including a lot of privacy invasion and character assassination on her, and involves her whole family in the intimate interrogation of her sex life. Getting a rape kit is uncomfortable and awkward af. They gain nothing, there's no profit, just expenses. This isn't something women just do for fun to strangers.

Just don't rape anyone, or have sex with anyone who's too intoxicated to give consent and you'll be fine.

Tbh, stewing in this kind of rhetoric/culture is 100% what's keeping you a virgin.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-03-24T12:23:22+00:00

No. Sex now days is often a one night stand. If you don't ever do them you'll be missing out. Just be very kind and caring and ask when you're going to make moves on her. It's best if you're really interested in seeing them again. A lot of women get angry when you don't call them back. And don't ever have a one night stand with a woman that's drunk or high.

LifeOfAuthRight · 2022-03-24T17:25:07+00:00

Yes, stop having sex before marriage. It's like ordering a cheeseburger instead of cooking a nice steak.

itscoldupheredude · 2022-03-24T15:11:58+00:00

You can do a one night side, just do it soberly.

WinTheDell · 2022-03-24T16:04:08+00:00

I think a lot of the advice here is a tad cautious. You obviously have to be careful. I’ve passed on ONSs when the other person has had just a couple of drinks; in hindsight this has seemed over-cautious.

At your age and experience level, you really just need more to be meeting and talking to women to get your confidence up. If somebody is clearly consenting and not inebriated, then the chances of them turning around and making an accusation are incredibly slim.

Visible_Criticism_97 · 2022-03-24T16:25:26+00:00

I’m married and well past dating age- I’d be terrified now a days given what I see happen to men. Chris brown despite im his past is currently being crucified by a woman who actively perused him and once her advances weren’t responded to she says he Cosby’d her.

Stay safe out there guys

StingRayFins · 2022-03-24T16:56:21+00:00

It's never worth it.

The only thing good about it is feeding your ego. "Yes I got laid!" But that's the stupidest way to get laid so it's not even worth it.

It may also be "exciting" if you like that type of lifestyle. But that doesn't make it worth it socially and economically.

Again, it'll only be worth it from the ego standpoint.

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-03-24T16:44:54+00:00

Whatever you do, DO NOT get married or cohabitate. The court system will often see cohabitation as legally married (depending on state), and you open yourself up to massive financial (and other) risk.

Avoid one night stands. They will morally bankrupt you in the long term.

DJW321 · 2022-03-24T17:01:49+00:00

It's generally a no go, if you respect yourself at all that is

Soda_BoBomb · 2022-03-24T20:45:19+00:00

Personally, I don't think one night stands are a bad thing.

I think going around with the exclusive intention of having a bunch of one night stands is a bad thing.

BuddyTubbs · 2022-03-25T02:07:32+00:00

r/ihavesex

2022-03-24T16:11:03+00:00

As a Christian, I have to say yes due to the way I view sex. Avoid any sex before marriage.

haaappppyyy · 2022-03-24T17:24:29+00:00

I’m a Muslim. I believe it’s better you go back to God and don’t have sex till marriage.

I’m nearly gonna be 22 in less than a month and I am still a virgin and I’m waiting till after marriage.

Mother-Key582 · 2022-03-24T16:02:37+00:00

Idk, that’s how I lost my v-card in my late 20s. Yes, my late 20s. It will happen when the time is right. With one of my ONS, I don’t regret it one bit, even though we tried to remain friends after but we lost touch, plus I was 21 years younger. The other? I really wish I could just take it back like it never happened. I mean, it was hot, but I just absolutely cringe thinking about it, thinking it would turn into something real. 🤦‍♂️ I’m happy I’ve grown up a lot and the sex with my current love is amazing and it feels really special to me.

Plot twist? I’m gay. So it may not fully apply, but it’s the principle of the thing. I’m just glad I’ve finally met the right guy, who doesn’t just think with his genitals and actually gives a fuck about me and building a life together.

fifty_good_Men · 2022-03-24T16:54:29+00:00

Tinder , you get evidence too

Remarkable-Ad1479 · 2022-03-24T17:20:54+00:00

yes, or only do it using a fake ame in another city.

incarnate1 · 2022-03-24T18:59:37+00:00

I think ONS are fine, even preferable for most men, we don't draw the same attachment and expectations women do from it; just use protection. If you're worried about accusations, you could always go the prostitute route.

I think abstaining is also fine, but it potentially encourages needy behavior. And as we know, there's only one real power women hold over us. Take that away and they have nothing.

LoomisKnows · 2022-03-24T18:07:37+00:00

Sounds legit honestly

Baconbac28 · 2022-03-24T18:55:42+00:00

Avoid it not only because of the rape accusations and stds and whatever, but one night stands aren’t worth it what so ever. I haven’t had a girlfriend in a long time and the one night stands just aren’t the same as having sex with a girl you actually love or care about. When you have a one night stand you are just sticking your dick into some hole and then leaving. You might as well just jack off if you’re going to do that.

xTheVyrusx · 2022-03-24T19:18:32+00:00

You’d want to avoid one night stands at all cost even more so if she’s drunk that definitely a 🚩🚩. The odds are stacked against you in multiple ways. Virgins are so charged up to have sex for the first time they’ll risk it all just for some fun. It’s better to stay a free man as a virgin than having sex and being in jail for many years over a dumb choices.

thehumbleguitarist · 2022-03-24T19:38:38+00:00

If the color of your skin is a concern, I would consult with someone you identify with. Family and/or close friends will usually get you closer to the answer you are looking for. This thread can help with male issues but cultural issues may prove difficult.

mistralol · 2022-03-24T19:40:10+00:00

Yeah.... also add STD's to the list. Child support

Generall don't put your dick in somebody your not prepared to have a kid with. you will regreat it

Murp-a-derp · 2022-03-24T20:01:39+00:00

Avoid it at all costs my dude. Its honestly not worth it

Uncle_Father_Oscar · 2022-03-24T20:02:03+00:00

Both of those things are true but are not the main or only reason to avoid one night stands.

Build a real relationship with someone that's not based on sex, the sex will be better when it eventually happens and you'll have an actual relationship with a person when playing with your junk gets old.

Title	Are one night-stands something to avoid?
Author	nayanaacat
Upvotes	138
Comments	225
Date	March 24, 2022 11:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/tm49yi/are_one_nightstands_something_to_avoid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/are-one-night-stands-something-to-avoid.1107783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107783

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